31MMark is attending a formal dinner, eight to a table.

He hates coming to these events and as usualis stuck for words. He's beginning to get thatsquirmy feeling. He doesn't know anyone except for hisaccountant, who's sitting at the other end of the banquethall and making everyone laugh. Suddenly the guest acrossfrom him, a young woman in a shiny blue dress who caughthis eye a few moments ago even though they hadn't spoken,tells the man on her left that she is an avid stamp collector.

Gust like Mark!

Mark is relieved and overjoyed because chance has givenhim an excuse to talk to her. They have something in common—stamps. Mark speaks up and tells Tanya all about hisrare 1948 Poached Egg stamp and how he found it when hisPontiac broke down in Cortlandville in upper New YorkState. With both elbows on the edge of the table and a -.

When we set out to establish rapport by design, wepurposely reduce the distance and differences betweenanother person and ourselves by finding commonground. When this happens, we feel a natural connectionwith the person, or persons, because we are akin—we have become like each other.

As rapport develops between Mark and Tanya in the32finger poised gently on her cheek, close to her ear, Tanyaleans toward Mark; her pupils dilate slightly as her shouldersbecome softer and more relaxed. Mark too leans forwardon his elbows, smiling as Tanya smiles, nodding asshe nods. She sips her water; he finds himself doing thesame ...

Mark and Tanya have established rapport. They connectedand initiated a relationship through a commoninterest. Their rapport is evident on many levels—thecues and rhythms they are taking from and sending toeach other, the imperceptible modifications of ............