I LAY FACEDOWN ACROSS THE SLEEPING BAG, WAITING for justice to find me. Maybe an avalanche would buryme here. I wished it would. I never wanted to have to see my face in the mirror again.
There was no sound to warn me. Out of nowhere, Edward’s cold hand stroked against my knotted hair. Ishuddered guiltily at his touch.
“Are you all right?” he murmured, his voice anxious.
“No. I want to die.”
“That will never happen. I won’t allow it.”
I groaned and then whispered, “You might change your mind about that.”
“Where’s Jacob?”
“He went to fight,” I mumbled into the floor.
Jacob had left the little camp joyfully — with a cheerful “I’ll be right back” — running full tilt for theclearing, already quivering as he prepared to shift to his other self. By now the whole pack knew everything.
Seth Clearwater, pacing outside the tent, was an intimate witness to my disgrace.
Edward was silent for a long moment. “Oh,” he finally said.
The tone of his voice worried me that my avalanche wasn’t coming fast enough. I peeked up at him and,sure enough, his eyes were unfocused as he listened to something I’d rather die than have him hear. I droppedmy face back to the floor.
It stunned me when Edward chuckled reluctantly.
“And I thought I fought dirty,” he said with grudging admiration. “He makes me look like the patron saintof ethics.” His hand brushed against the part of my cheek that was exposed. “I’m not mad at you, love.
Jacob’s more cunning than I gave him credit for. I do wish you hadn’t asked him, though.”
“Edward,” I whispered to the rough nylon. “I . . . I . . . I’m —”
“Shh,” he hushed me, his fingers soothing against my cheek. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just that hewould have kissed you anyway — even if you hadn’t fallen for it — and now I don’t have an excuse to breakhis face. I would have really enjoyed that, too.”
“Fallen for it?” I mumbled almost incomprehensibly.
“Bella, did you really believe he was that noble? That he would go out in a flame of glory just to clear theway for me?”
I raised my head slowly to meet his patient gaze. His expression was soft; his eyes were full ofunderstanding rather than the revulsion I deserved to see.
“Yes, I did believe that,” I muttered, and then looked away. But I didn’t feel any anger at Jacob fortricking me. There wasn’t enough room in my body to contain anything besides the hatred I felt toward myself.
Edward laughed softly again. “You’re such a bad liar, you’ll believe anyone who has the least bit of skill.”
“Why aren’t you angry with me?” I whispered. “Why don’t you hate me? Or haven’t you heard the wholestory yet?”
“I think I got a fairly comprehensive look,” he said in a light, easy voice. “Jacob makes vivid mentalpictures. I feel almost as bad for his pack as I do for myself. Poor Seth was getting nauseated. But Sam ismaking Jacob focus now.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head in agony. The sharp nylon fibers of the tent floor scraped against myskin.
“You’re only human,” he whispered, stroking my hair again.
“That’s the most miserable defense I’ve ever heard.”
“But you are human, Bella. And, as much as I might wish otherwise, so is he. . . . There are holes in yourlife that I can’t fill. I understand that.”
“But that’s not true. That’s what makes me so horrible. There are no holes.”
“You love him,” he murmured gently.
Every cell in my body ached to deny it.
“I love you more,” I said. It was the best I could do.
“Yes, I know that, too. But . . . when I left you, Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was the one to stitch youback up again. That was bound to leave its mark — on both of you. I’m not sure those kinds of stitchesdissolve on their own. I can’t blame either of you for something I made necessary. I may gain forgiveness, butthat doesn’t let me escape the consequences.”
“I should have known you’d find some way to blame yourself. Please stop. I can’t stand it.”
“What would you like me to say?”
“I want you to call me every bad name you can think of, in every language you know. I want you to tell methat you’re disgusted with me and that you’re going to leave so that I can beg and grovel on my knees for youto stay.”
“I’m sorry.” He sighed. “I can’t do that.”
“At least stop trying to make me feel better. Let me suffer. I deserve it.”
“No,” he murmured.
I nodded slowly. “You’re right. Keep on being too understanding. That’s probably worse.”
He was silent for a moment, and I sensed a charge in the atmosphere, a new urgency.
“It’s getting close,” I stated.
“Yes, a few more minutes now. Just enough time to say one more thing. . . .”
I waited. When he finally spoke again, he was whispering. “I can be noble, Bella. I’m not going to makeyou choose between us. Just be happy, and you can have whatever part of me you want, or none at all, ifthat’s better. Don’t let any debt you feel you owe me influence your decision.”
I pushed off the floor, shoving myself up onto my knees.
“Dammit, stop that!” I shouted at him.
His eyes widened in surprise. “No — you don’t understand. I’m not just trying to make you feel better,Bella, I really mean it.”
“I know you do,” I groaned. “What happened to fighting back? Don’t start with the noble self-sacrificenow! Fight!”
“How?” he asked, and his eyes were ancient with their sadness.
I scrambled into his lap, throwing my arms around him.
“I don’t care that it’s cold here. I don’t care that I stink like a dog right now. Make me forget how awful Iam. Make me forget him. Make me forget my own name. Fight back!”
I didn’t wait for him to decide — or to have the chance to tell me he wasn’t interested in a cruel, faithlessmonster like me. I pulled myself against him and crushed my mouth to his snow-cold lips.
“Careful, love,” he murmured under my urgent kiss.
“No,” I growled.
He gently pushed my face a few inches back. “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“I’m not trying to prove something. You said I could have any part of you I wanted. I want this part. Iwant every part.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and strained to reach his lips. He bent his head to kissme back, but his cool mouth was hesitant as my impatience grew more pronounced. My body was making myintentions clear, giving me away. Inevitably, his hands moved to restrain me.
“Perhaps this isn’t the best moment for that,” he suggested, too calm for my liking.
“Why not?” I grumbled. There was no point in fighting if he was going to be rational; I dropped my arms.
“Firstly, because it is cold.” He reached out to pull the sleeping bag off the floor; he wrapped it around melike a blanket.
“Wrong,” I said. “First, because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire.”
He chuckled. “All right, I’ll give you that. The cold is second. And thirdly . . . well, you do actually stink,love.”
He wrinkled his nose.
I sighed.
“Fourthly,” he murmured, dropping his face so that he was whispering in my ear. “We will try, Bella. I’llmake good on my promise. But I’d much rather it wasn’t in reaction to Jacob Black.”
I cringed, and buried my face against his shoulder.
“And fifthly . . .”
“This is a very long list,” I muttered.
He laughed. “Yes, but did you want to listen to the fight or not?”
As he spoke, Seth howled stridently outside the tent.
My body stiffened to the sound. I didn’t realize my left hand was clenched into a fist, nails biting into mybandaged palm, until Edward took it and gently smoothed my fingers out.
“It’s going to be fine, Bella,” he promised. “We’ve got skill, training, and surprise on our side. It will beover very soon. If I didn’t truly believe that, I would be down there now — and you’d be here, chained to atree or something along those lines.”
“Alice is so small,” I moaned.
He chuckled. “That might be a problem . . . if it were possible for someone to catch her.”
Seth started to whimper.
“What’s wrong?” I demanded.
“He’s just angry that he’s stuck here with us. He knows the pack kept him out of the action to protecthim. He’s salivating to join them.”
I scowled in Seth’s general direction.
“The newborns have reached the end of the trail — it worked like a charm, Jasper’s a genius — andthey’ve caught the scent of the ones in the meadow, so they’re splitting into two groups now, as Alice said,”
Edward murmured, his eyes focused on something far away. “Sam’s taking us around to head off the ambushparty.” He was so intent on what he was hearing that he used the pack plural.
Suddenly he looked down at me. “Breathe, Bella.”
I struggled to do what he asked. I could hear Seth’s heavy panting just outside the tent wall, and I tried tokeep my lungs on the same even pace, so that I wouldn’t hyperventilate.
“The first group is in the clearing. We can hear the fighting.”
My teeth locked together.
He laughed once. “We can hear Emmett — he’s enjoying himself.”
I made myself take another breath with Seth.
“The second group is getting ready — they aren’t paying attention, they haven’t heard us yet.”
Edward growled.
“What?” I gasped.
“They’re talking about you.” His teeth clenched together. “They’re supposed to make sure you don’tescape. . . . Nice move, Leah! Mmm, she’s quite fast,” he murmured in approval. “One of the newbornscaught our scent, and Leah took him down before he could even turn. Sam’s helping her finish him off. Pauland Jacob got another one, but the others are on the defensive now. They have no idea what to make of us.
Both sides are feinting. . . . No, let Sam lead. Stay out of the way,” he muttered. “Separate them — don’t letthem protect each other’s backs.”
Seth whined.
“That’s better, drive them toward the clearing,” Edward approved. His body was shifting unconsciously ashe watched, tensing for moves he would have made. His hands still held mine; I twisted my fingers through his.
At least he wasn’t down there.
The sudden absence of sound was the only warning.
The deep rush of Seth’s breathing cut off, and — as I’d paced my breaths with his — I noticed.
I stopped breathing, too — too frightened to even make mylungs work as I realized that Edward hadfrozen into a block of ice beside me.
Oh, no. No. No.
Who had been lost? Theirs or ours? Mine, all mine. What was my loss?
So quickly that I wasn’t exactly sure how it happened, I was on my feet and the tent was collapsing inragged shreds around me. Had Edward ripped our way out? Why?
I blinked, shocked, into the brilliant light. Seth was all I could see, right beside us, his face only six inchesfrom Edward’s. They stared at each other with absolute concentration for one infinite second. The sunshattered off Edward’s skin and sent sparkles dancing across Seth’s fur.
And then Edward whispered urgently, “Go, Seth!”
The huge wolf wheeled and disappeared into the forest shadows.
Had two entire seconds passed? It felt like hours. I was terrified to the point of nausea by the knowledgethat something horrible had gone awry in the clearing. I opened my mouth to demand that Edward take methere, and do it now. They needed him, and they needed me. If I had to bleed to save them, I would do it. Iwould die to do it, like the third wife. I had no silver dagger in my hand, but I would find a way —Before I could get the first syllable out, I felt as if I was being flung through the air. But Edward’s handsnever let go of me — I was only being moved, so quickly that the sensation was like falling sideways.
I found myself with my back pressed against the sheer cliff face. Edward stood in front of me, holding aposture that I knew at once.
Relief washed through my mind at the same time that my stomach dropped through the soles of my feet.
I’d misunderstood.
Relief — nothing had gone wrong in the clearing.
Horror — the crisis was here.
Edward held a defensive position — half-crouched, his arms extended slightly — that I recognized withsickening certainty. The rock at my back could have been the ancient brick walls of the Italian alley where hehad stood between me and the black-cloaked Volturi warriors.
Something was coming for us.
“Who?” I whispered.
The words came through his teeth in a snarl that was louder than I expected. Too loud. It meant that it wasfar too late to hide. We were trapped, and it didn’t matter who heard his answer.
“Victoria,” he said, spitting the word, making it a curse. “She’s not alone. She crossed my scent, followingthe newborns in to watch — she never meant to fight with them. She made a spur-of-the-moment decision tofind me, guessing that you would be wherever I was. She was right. You were right. It was always Victoria.”
She was close enough that he could hear her thoughts.
Relief again. If it had been the Volturi, we were both dead. But with Victoria, it didn’t have to be both.
Edward could survive this. He was a good fighter, as good as Jasper. If she didn’t bring too many others, hecould fight his way out, back to his family. Edward was faster than anyone. He could make it.
I was so glad he’d sent Seth away. Of course, there was no one Seth could run to for help. Victoria hadtimed her decision perfectly. But at least Seth was safe; I couldn’t see the huge sandy wolf in my head when Ithought his name — just the gangly fifteen-year-old boy.
Edward’s body shifted — only infinitesimally, but it told me where to look. I stared at the black shadowsof the forest.
It was like having my nightmares walk forward to greet me.
Two vampires edged slowly into the small opening of our camp, eyes intent, missing nothing. Theyglistened like diamonds in the sun.
I could barely look at the blond boy — yes, he was just a boy, though he was muscular and tall, maybemy age when he was changed. His eyes — a more vivid red than I had ever seen before — could not holdmine. Though he was closest to Edward, the nearest danger, I could not watch him.
Because, a few feet to the side and a few feet back, Victoria was staring at me.
Her orange hair was brighter than I’d remembered, more like a flame. There was no wind here, but thefire around her face seemed to shimmer slightly, as if it were alive.
Her eyes were black with thirst. She did not smile, as she always had in my nightmares — her lips werepressed into a tight line. There was a striking feline quality to the way she held her coiled body, a lionesswaiting for an opening to spring. Her restless, wild gaze flickered between Edward and me, but never restedon him for more than a half-second. She could not keep her eyes from my face any more than I could keepmine from hers.
Tension rolled off of her, nearly visible in the air. I could feel the desire, the all-consuming passion that heldher in its grip. Almost as if I could hear her thoughts, too, I knew what she was thinking.
She was so close to what she wanted — the focus of her whole existence for more than a year now wasjust so close.
My death.
Her plan was as obvious as it was practical. The big blond boy would attack Edward. As soon as Edwardwas sufficiently distracted, Victoria would finish me.
It would be quick — she had no time for games here — but it would be thoro............