WHEN I WOKE UP IN THE MORNING, IT WAS VERY bright — even inside the tent, the sunlight hurt my eyes. AndI was sweating, as Jacob had predicted. Jacob was snoring lightly in my ear, his arms still wrapped aroundme.

　　I pulled my head away from his feverishly warm chest and felt the sting of the cold morning on my clammycheek. Jacob sighed in his sleep; his arms tightened unconsciously.

　　I squirmed, unable to loosen his hold, struggling to lift my head enough to see. . . .

　　Edward met my gaze evenly. His expression was calm, but the pain in his eyes was unconcealed.

　　“Is it any warmer out there?” I whispered.

　　“Yes. I don’t think the space heater will be necessary today.”

　　I tried to get to the zipper, but I couldn’t free my arms. I strained, fighting against Jacob’s inert strength.

　　Jacob muttered, still fast asleep, his arms constricting again.

　　“Some help?” I asked quietly.

　　Edward smiled. “Did you want me to take his arms all the way off?”

　　“No, thank you. Just get me free. I’m going to get heat stroke.”

　　Edward unzipped the sleeping bag in a swift, abrupt movement. Jacob fell out, his bare back hitting the icyfloor of the tent.

　　“Hey!” he complained, his eyes flying open. Instinctively, he flinched away from the cold, rolling onto me. Igasped as his weight knocked the breath out of me.

　　And then his weight was gone. I felt the impact as Jacob flew into one of the tent poles and the tentshuddered.

　　The growling erupted from all around. Edward was crouching in front of me, and I couldn’t see his face,but the snarls were ripping angrily out of his chest. Jacob was half-crouched, too, his whole body quivering,while growls rumbled through his clenched teeth. Outside the tent, Seth Clearwater’s vicious snarls echoed offthe rocks.

　　“Stop it, stop it!” I yelled, scrambling awkwardly to put myself between them. The space was so small thatI didn’t have to stretch far to put one hand on each of their chests. Edward wrapped his hand around mywaist, ready to yank me out of the way.

　　“Stop it, now,” I warned him.

　　Under my touch, Jacob began to calm himself. The shaking slowed, but his teeth were still bared, his eyesfuriously focused on Edward. Seth continued to growl, a long unbroken sound, a violent background to thesudden silence in the tent.

　　“Jacob?” I asked, waiting until he finally dropped his glare to look at me. “Are you hurt?”

　　“Of course not!” he hissed.

　　I turned to Edward. He was looking at me, his expression hard and angry. “That wasn’t nice. You shouldsay sorry.”

　　His eyes widened in disgust. “You must be joking — he was crushing you!”

　　“Because you dumped him on the floor! He didn’t do it on purpose, and he didn’t hurt me.”

　　Edward groaned, revolted. Slowly, he looked up to glare at Jacob with hostile eyes. “My apologies, dog.”

　　“No harm done,” Jacob said, a taunting edge to his voice.

　　It was still cold, though not as cold as it had been. I curled my arms around my chest.

　　“Here,” Edward said, calm again. He took the parka off the floor and wrapped it over the top of my coat.

　　“That’s Jacob’s,” I objected.

　　“Jacob has a fur coat,” Edward hinted.

　　“I’ll just use the sleeping bag again, if you don’t mind.” Jacob ignored him, climbing around us and slidinginto the down bag. “I wasn’t quite ready to wake up. That wasn’t the best night’s sleep I ever had.”

　　“It was your idea,” Edward said impassively.

　　Jacob was curled up, his eyes already closed. He yawned. “I didn’t say it wasn’t the best night I’ve ever spent. Just that I didn’t get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut up.”

　　I winced, wondering what might have come out of my mouth in my sleep. The possibilities were horrifying.

　　“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” Edward murmured.

　　Jacob’s dark eyes fluttered open. “Didn’t you have a nice night, then?” he asked, smug.

　　“It wasn’t the worst night of my life.”

　　“Did it make the top ten?” Jacob asked with perverse enjoyment.

　　“Possibly.”

　　Jacob smiled and closed his eyes.

　　“But,” Edward went on, “if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the topten of the best nights of my life. Dream about that.”

　　Jacob’s eyes opened into a glare. He sat up stiffly, his shoulders tense.

　　“You know what? I think it’s too crowded in here.”

　　“I couldn’t agree more.”

　　I elbowed Edward in the ribs — probably giving myself a bruise.

　　“Guess I’ll catch up on my sleep later, then.” Jacob made a face. “I need to talk to Sam anyway.”

　　He rolled to his knees and grabbed the door’s zipper.

　　Pain crackled down my spine and lodged in my stomach as I abruptly realized that this could be the lasttime I would see him. He was going back to Sam, back to fight the horde of bloodthirsty newborn vampires.

　　“Jake, wait —” I reached after him, my hand sliding down his arm.

　　He jerked his arm away before my fingers could find purchase.

　　“Please, Jake? Won’t you stay?”

　　“No.”

　　The word was hard and cold. I knew my face gave away my pain, because he exhaled and half a smilesoftened his expression.

　　“Don’t worry about me, Bells. I’ll be fine, just like I always am.” He forced a laugh. “’Sides, you think I’mgoing to let Seth go in my place — have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right.” He snorted.

　　“Be careful —”

　　He shoved out of the tent before I could finish.

　　“Give it a rest, Bella,” I heard him mutter as he re-zipped the door.

　　I listened for the sound of his retreating footsteps, but it was perfectly still. No more wind. I could hearmorning birdsong far away on the mountain, and nothing else. Jacob moved in silence now.

　　I huddled in my coats, and leaned against Edward’s shoulder. We were quiet for a long time.

　　“How much longer?” I asked.

　　“Alice told Sam it should be an hour or so,” Edward said, soft and bleak.

　　“We stay together. No matter what.”

　　“No matter what,” he agreed, his eyes tight.

　　“I know,” I said. “I’m terrified for them, too.”

　　“They know how to handle themselves,” Edward assured me, purposely making his voice light. “I just hatemissing the fun.”

　　Again with the fun. My nostrils flared.

　　He put his arm around my shoulder. “Don’t worry,” he urged, and then he kissed my forehead.

　　As if there was any way to avoid that. “Sure, sure.”

　　“Do you want me to distract you?” He breathed, running his cold fingers along my cheekbone.

　　I shivered involuntarily; the morning was still frosty.

　　“Maybe not right now,” he answered himself, pulling his hand away.

　　“There are other ways to distract me.”

　　“What would you like?”

　　“You could tell me about your ten best nights,” I suggested. “I’m curious.”

　　He laughed. “Try to guess.”

　　I shook my head. “There’re too many nights I don’t know about. A century of them.”

　　“I’ll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you.”

　　“Really?”

　　 “Yes, really — and by quite a wide margin, too.”

　　I thought for a minute. “I can only think of mine,” I admitted.

　　“They might be the same,” he encouraged.

　　“Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed.”

　　“Yes, that’s one of mine, too. Of course, you were unconscious for my favorite part.”

　　“That’s right,” I remembered. “I was talking that night, too.”

　　“Yes,” he agreed.

　　My face got hot as I wondered again what I might have said while sleeping in Jacob’s arms. I couldn’tremember what I’d dreamed about, or if I’d dreamed at all, so that was no help.

　　“What did I say last night?” I whispered more quietly than before.

　　He shrugged instead of answering, and I winced.

　　“That bad?”

　　“Nothing too horrible,” he sighed.

　　“Please tell me.”

　　“Mostly you said my name, the same as usual.”

　　“That’s not bad,” I agreed cautiously.

　　“Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about ‘Jacob, my Jacob.’” I could hear thepain, even in the whisper. “Your Jacob enjoyed that quite a lot.”

　　I stretched my neck up, straining to reach my lips to the edge of his jaw. I couldn’t see into his eyes. Hewas staring up at the ceiling of the tent.

　　“Sorry,” I murmured. “That’s just the way I differentiate.”

　　“Differentiate?”

　　“Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me,”

　　I explained.

　　“That makes sense.” He sounded slightly mollified. “Tell me another favorite night.”

　　“Flying home from Italy.”

　　He frowned.

　　“Is that not one of yours?” I wondered.

　　“No, it is one of mine, actually, but I’m surprised it’s on your list. Weren’t you under the ludicrousimpression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doorsopened?”

　　“Yes.” I smiled. “But, still, you were there.”

　　He kissed my hair. “You love me more than I deserve.”

　　I laughed at the impossibility of that idea. “Next would be the night after Italy,” I continued.

　　“Yes, that’s on the list. You were so funny.”

　　“Funny?” I objected.

　　“I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake.”

　　“I’m still not sure,” I muttered. “You’ve always seemed more like a dream than reality. Tell me one ofyours, now. Did I guess your first place?”

　　“No — that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me.”

　　I made a face.

　　“That doesn’t make your list?”

　　I thought about the way he’d kissed me, the concession I’d gained, and changed my mind. “Yes . . . itdoes. But with reservations. I don’t understand why it’s so important to you. You already had me forever.”

　　“A hundred years from now, when you’ve gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, Iwill explain it to you.”

　　“I’ll remind you to explain — in a hundred years.”

　　“Are you warm enough?” he asked suddenly.

　　“I’m fine,” I assured him. “Why?”

　　Before he could answer, the silence outside the tent was ripped apart by an earsplitting howl of pain. Thesound ricocheted off the bare rock face of the mountain and filled the air so that it seared from every direction.

　　The howl tore through my mind like a tornado, both strange and familiar. Strange because I’d never heard such a tortured cry before. Familiar because I knew the voice at once — I recognized the sound andunderstood the meaning as perfectly as if I’d uttered it myself. It made no difference that Jacob was not humanwhen he cried out. I needed no translation.

　　Jacob was close. Jacob had heard every word we’d said. Jacob was in agony.

　　The howl choked off into a peculiar gurgled sob, and then it was quiet again.

　　I did not hear his silent escape, but I could feel it — I could feel the absence I had wrongly assumedbefore, the empty space he left behind.

　　“Because your space heater has reached his limit,” Edward answered quietly. “Truce over,” he added, solow I couldn’t be sure that was really what he’d said.

　　“Jacob was listening,” I whispered. It wasn’t a question.

　　“Yes.”

　　“You knew.”

　　“Yes.”

　　I stared at nothing, seeing nothing.

　　“I never promised to fight fair,” he reminded me quietly. “And he deserves to know.”

　　My head fell into my hands.

　　“Are you angry with me?” he asked.

　　“Not you,” I whispered. “I’m horrified at me.”

　　“Don’t torment yourself,” he pleaded.

　　“Yes,” I agreed bitterly. “I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I wouldn’t want to leaveany part of him unharmed.”

　　“He knew what he was doing.”

　　“Do you think that matters?” I was blinking back tears, and this was easy to hear in my voice. “Do youthink I care whether it’s fair or whether he was adequately warned? I’m hurting him. Every time I turnaround, I’m hurting him again.” My voice was getting louder, more hysterical. “I’m a hideous person.”

　　He wrapped his arms tightly around me. “No, you’re not.”

　　“I am! What’s wrong with me?” I struggled against his arms, and he let them drop. “I have to go find him.”

　　“Bella, he’s already miles away, and it’s cold.”

　　“I don’t care. I can’t just sit here.” I shrugged off Jacob’s parka, shoved my feet into my boots, andcrawled stiffly to the door; my legs felt numb. “I have to — I have to . . .” I didn’t know how to finishthesentence, didn’t know what there was to do, but I unzipped the door anyway, and climbed out into the bright,icy morning.

　　There was less snow than I would have thought after the fury of last night’s storm. Probably it had blownaway rather than melted in the sun that now shone low in the southeast, glancing off the snow that lingered andstabbing at my unadjusted eyes. The air still had a bite to it, but it was dead calm and slowly becoming moreseasonable as the sun rose higher.

　　Seth Clearwater was curled up on a patch of dry pine needles in the shadow of a thick spruce, his head onhis paws. His sand-colored fur was almost invisible against the dead needles, but I could see the bright snowreflect off his open eyes. He was staring at me with what I imagined was an accusation.

　　I knew Edward was following me as I stumbled toward the trees. I couldn’t hear him, but the sun reflectedoff his skin in glittering rainbows that danced ahead of me. He didn’t reach out to stop me until I was severalpaces into the forest shadows.

　　His hand caught my left wrist. He ignored it when I tried to yank myself free.

　　“You can’t go after him. Not today. It’s almost time. And getting yourself lost wouldn’t help anyone,regardless.”

　　I twisted my wrist, pulling uselessly.

　　“I’m sorry, Bella,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I did that.”

　　“You didn’t do anything. It’s my fault. I did this. I did everything wrong. I could have . . . When he . . . Ishouldn’t have . . . I . . . I . . .” I was sobbing.

　　“Bella, Bella.”

　　His arms folded around me, and my tears soaked into his shirt.

　　“I should have — told him — I should — have said —” What? What could have made this right? “He shouldn’t have — found out like this.”

　　“Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk to him? There’s still a little time,”

　　Edward murmured, hushed agony in his voice.

　　I nodded into his chest, afraid to see his face.

　　“Stay by the tent. I’ll be back soon.”

　　His arms disappeared. He left so quickly that, in the second it took me to look up, he was already gone. Iwas alone.

　　A new sob broke from my chest. I was hurting everyone today. Was there anything I touched that didn’tget spoiled?

　　I didn’t know why it was hitting me so hard now. It wasn’t like I hadn’t known this was coming all along.

　　But Jacob had never reacted so strongly — lost his bold overconfidence and shown the intensity of his pain.

　　The sound of his agony still cut at me, somewhere deep in my chest. Right beside it was the other pain. Painfor feeling pain over Jacob. Pain for hurting Edward, too. For not being able to watch Jacob go withcomposure, knowing that it was the right thing, the only way.

　　I was selfish, I was hurtful. I tortured the ones I loved.

　　I was like Cathy, like Wuthering Heights, only my options were so much better than hers, neither oneevil, neither one weak. And here I sat, crying about it, not doing anything productive to make it right. Just likeCathy.

　　I couldn’t allow what hurt me to influence my decisions anymore. It was too little, much too late, but I hadto do what was right now. Maybe it was already done for me. Maybe Edward would not be able to bring himback. And then I would accept that and get on with my life. Edward would never see me shed another tear forJacob Black. There would be no more tears. I wiped the last of them away with cold fingers now.

　　But if Edward did return with Jacob, that was it. I had to tell him to go away and never come back.

　　Why was that so hard? So very much more difficult than saying goodbye to my other friends, to Angela, toMike? Why did that hurt? It wasn’t right. That shouldn’t be able to hurt me. I had what I wanted. I couldn’thave them both, because Jacob could not be just my friend. It was time to give up wishing for that. Howridiculously greedy could any one............