The Unexpected Arrival Home of our Son, Willie Lupin Pooter.
August 4. -The first post brought a nice letter from our dear sonWillie, acknowledging a trifling present which Carrie sent him, the daybefore yesterday being his twentieth birthday. To our utter amazement heturned up himself in the afternoon, having journeyed all the way fromOldham. He said he had got leave from the bank, and as Monday was aholiday he thought he would give us a little surprise.
August 5, Sunday. - We have not seen Willie since last Christmas, andare pleased to notice what a fine young man he has grown. One wouldscarcely believe he was Carrie's son. He looks more like a youngerbrother. I rather disapprove of his wearing a check suit on a Sunday, andI think he ought to have gone to church this morning; but he said he wastired after yesterday's journey, so I refrained from any remark on thesubject. We had a bottle of port for dinner, and drank dear Willie'shealth.
He said: "Oh, by-the-by, did I tell you I've cut my first name,'William,' and taken the second name 'Lupin'? In fact, I'm only known atOldham as 'Lupin Pooter.' If you were to 'Willie' me there, they wouldn'tknow what you meant."Of course, Lupin being a purely family name, Carrie was delighted,and began by giving a long history of the Lupins. I ventured to say that Ithought William a nice simple name, and reminded him he was christenedafter his Uncle William, who was much respected in the City. Willie, in amanner which I did not much care for, said sneeringly: "Oh, I know allabout that - Good old Bill!" and helped himself to a third glass of port.
Carrie objected strongly to my saying "Good old," but she made noremark when Willie used the double adjective. I said nothing, but lookedat her, which meant more. I said: "My dear Willie, I hope you arehappy with your colleagues at the Bank." He replied: "Lupin, if youplease; and with respect to the Bank, there's not a clerk who is a gentleman, and the 'boss' is a cad." I felt so shocked, I could say nothing, and myinstinct told me there was something wrong.
August 6, Bank Holiday. - As there was no sign of Lupin moving atnine o'clock, I knocked at his door, and said we usually breakfasted athalf-past eight, and asked how long would he be? Lupin replied that hehad had a lively time of it, first with the train shaking the house all night,and then with the sun streaming in through the window in his eyes, andgiving him a cracking headache. Carrie came up and asked if he wouldlike some breakfast sent up, and he said he could do with a cup of tea, anddidn't want anything to eat.
Lupin not having come down, I went up again at half-past one, andsaid we dined at two; he said he "would be there." He never came downtill a quarter to three. I said: "We have not seen much of you, and youwill have to return by the 5.30 train; therefore you will have to leave in anhour, unless you go by the midnight mail." He said: "Look here, Guv'nor,it's no use beating about the bush. I've tendered my resignation at theBank."For a moment I could not speak. When my speech came again, I said:
"How dare you, sir? How dare you take such a serious step withoutconsulting me? Don't answer me, sir! - you will sit down immediately,and write a note at my dictation, withdrawing your resignation and amplyapologising for your thoughtlessness."Imagine my dismay when he replied with a loud guffaw: "It's no use.
If you want the good old truth, I've got the chuck!"August 7. - Mr. Perkupp has given me leave to postpone my holiday aweek, as we could not get the room. This will give us an opportunity oftrying to find an appointment for Willie before we go. The ambition ofmy life would be to get him into Mr. Perkupp's firm.
August 11. - Although it is a serious matter having our boy Lupin onour hands, still it is satisfactory to know he was asked to resign from theBank simply because "he took no interest in his work, and always arrivedan hour (sometimes two hours) late." We can all start off on Monday toBroadstairs with a light heart. This will take my mind off the worry of thelast few days, which have been wasted over a useless correspondence with the manager of the Bank at Oldham.
August 13. - Hurrah! at Broadstairs. Very nice apartments near thestation. On the cliffs they would have been double the price. Thelandlady had a nice five o'clock dinner and tea ready, which we all enjoyed,though Lupin seemed fastidious because there happened to be a fly in thebutter. It was very wet in the evening, for which I was thankful, as it wasa good excuse for going to bed early. Lupin said he would sit up and reada bit.
August 14. - I was a little annoyed to find Lupin, instead of readinglast night, had gone to a common sort of entertainment, given at theAssembly Rooms. I expressed my opinion that such performances wereunworthy of respectable patronage; but he replied: "Oh, it was only 'forone night only.' I had a fit of the blues come on, and thought I would goto see Polly Presswell, England's Particular Spark." I told him I wasproud to say I had never heard of her. Carrie said: "Do let the boyalone. He's quite old enough to take care of himself, and won't forgethe's a gentleman. Remember, you were young once yourself." Rainedall day hard, but Lupin would go out.
August 15. - Cleared up a bit, so we all took the train to Margate, andthe first person we met on the jetty was Gowing. I said: "Hulloh! Ithought you had gone to Barmouth with your Birmingham friends?" Hesaid: "Yes, but young Peter Lawrence was so ill, they postponed theirvisit, so I came down here. You know the Cummings' are here too?"Carrie said: "Oh, that will be delightful! We must have some eveningstogether and have games."I introduced Lupin, saying: "You will be pleased to find we have ourdear boy at home!" Gowing said: "How's that? You don't mean to sayhe's left the Bank?"I changed the subject quickly, and thereby avoided any of thoseawkward questions which Gowing always has a knack of asking.
August 16. - Lupin positively refused to walk down the Parade withme because I was wearing my new straw helmet with my frock-coat. Idon't know what the boy is coming to.
August 17. - Lupin not falling in with our views, Carrie and I went for a sail. It was a relief to be with her alone; for when Lupin irritates me,she always sides with him. On our return, he said: "Oh, you've been onthe 'Shilling Emetic,' have you? You'll come to six-pennorth on the'Liver Jerker' next." I presume he meant a tricycle, but I affected not tounderstand him.
August 18. - Gowing and Cummings walked over to arrange anevening at Margate. It being wet, Gowing asked Cummings toaccompany him to the hotel and have a game of billiards, knowing I neverplay, and in fact disapprove of the game. Cummings said he must hastenback to Margate; whereupon Lupin, to my horror, said: "I'll give you agame, Gowing - a hundred up. A walk round I the cloth will give me anappetite for dinner." I said: "Perhaps Mister Gowing does not care toplay with boys." Gowing surprised me by saying: "Oh yes, I do, if theyplay well," and they walked off together.
August 19, Sunday. - I was about to read Lupin a sermon on smoking(which he indulges in violently) and billiards, but he put on his hat andwalked out. Carrie then read ME a long sermon on the palpableinadvisability of treating Lupin as if he were a mere child. I felt she wassomewhat right, so in the evening I offered him a cigar. He seemedpleased, but, after a few whiffs, said: "This is a good old tup'ny - try one ofmine," and he handed me a cigar as long as it was strong, which is sayinga good deal.
August 20. - I am glad our last day at the seaside was fine, thoughclouded overhead. We went over to Cummings' (at Margate) in theevening, and as it was cold, we stayed in and played games; Gowing, asusual, overstepping the mark. He suggested we should play "Cutlets," agame we never heard of. He sat on a chair, and asked Carrie to sit on hislap, an invitation which dear Carrie rightly declined.
After some species of wrangling, I sat on Gowing's knees and Carriesat on the edge of mine. Lupin sat on the edge of Carrie's lap, thenCummings on Lupin's, and Mrs. Cummings on her husband's. We lookedvery ridiculous, and laughed a good deal.
Gowing then said: "Are you a believer in the Great Mogul?" Wehad to answer all together: "Yes - oh, yes!" (three times). Gowing said:
"So am I," and suddenly got up. The result of this stupid joke was thatwe all fell on the ground, and poor Carrie banged her head against thecorner of the fender. Mrs. Cummings put some vinegar on; but throughthis we missed the last train, and had to drive back to Broadstairs, whichcost me seven-and-sixpence.