The Voyage to the Land-of-wonders.

Before I proceed to the description of this sea-voyage, I must first caution all severe and unmerciful critics not to frown too much at the narration of things, which seem to war against nature, and even surpass the faculties of faith in the most credulous man. I relate incredible but true things, that I have seen with my own eyes. Raw and ignorant ninnies who have never started a foot from their homes, regard every thing as fable, whose equal they have never heard of or seen; or, with which they have not been familiar from childhood. Learned people, on the contrary, especially those who have a deep knowledge of natural history, and whose experience has proved to them how fruitful nature is in changes, will pass a more reasonable sentence upon the uncommon things narrated.

In former days a people were found in Scythia, called Arimasps, who had but one eye, which was placed in the middle of the forehead: another people, under the same climate, had their foot-soles turned out backwards, and in Albany were people born with gray hairs. The ancient Sanromates ate only on every third day and fasted the other two; in Africa were certain families who could bewitch others by their talk; and it is a well known fact, that there were certain persons in Illyria, with two eye-balls to each eye, who killed people by merely looking at them: this, however, they could do, only when they were angry; then their fierce and scintillating stare was fatal to whomever was rash or unfortunate enough to meet it: on the mountains of Hindostan were to be found whole nations with dog’s heads, who barked; and others who had eyes in their backs. Who would believe this and even more, if Pliny, one of the most earnest writers, had not solemnly assured us, that he had neither heard nor read the least hereof, but had seen it all with his own eyes? Yes, who would have imagined that this earth was hollow; that within its circumference were both a sun and moon, if my own experience had not discovered the secret? Who would have thought it possible, that there was a globe, inhabited by walking, sensible trees, if the same experience had not placed it beyond all doubt? Nevertheless, I will not pick a quarrel with any one, on account of his incredulity in this matter, because I must confess, that I myself, before I made this voyage, mistrusted whether these tales might not have arisen from the exaggerated representations of seamen, or that they were the result of that well-known qualification of this class of men, familiarly styled the “spinning a yarn.”

In the beginning of the month Radir, we went on board our ship, weighed anchor, and

The wind in swelling sails embraced the bending masts,

And, like an arrow in the air, with lightning speed,

The keel shrieked through the foaming billows.

The wind was fair for some days, during which we poor rowers had a comfortable time, for the oars were not needed; but on the fourth day it fell calm;

The sails did fall: in haste the seats were fixed;

With plashing stroke, the oars smote heaven in the waters.

For a long time we met with nothing; but as soon as we lost sight of land, strange figures raised themselves from the quaking gulph. They were mermaids, who, when the weather becomes calm and the billows rest themselves, rise to the surface and swim towards any passing ship, to ask for alms. Their language was so similar to the Martinianic, that some of our sailors could speak with them without an interpreter. One of these singular creatures demanded of me a piece of meat; when I gave it to her, she looked at me steadily for a time, and said: you will soon become a hero, and rule over mighty nations! I laughed at this divination, for I considered it empty flattery, although the sailors swore to it, that the mermaids’ prediction seldom failed. At the end of eight days we came in sight of land; which the seamen called Picardania. As we entered the harbor, a magpie came flying towards us, which, they said, was the custom-house inspector-general. When this dignitary had flown thrice around the ship, he returned to the shore and came back with three other magpies: these seated themselves on the prow of the ship. I came very near bursting with laughter, when I saw one of our interpreters approach these magpies, with many compliments, and heard him hold a long conversation with them. They had come for the purpose of examining our freight and detecting any forbidden articles that we might have concealed; when all was found correct, we were suffered to unload. As soon as this was done, a number of magpies flew to the ship, who proved to be merchants. The captain then went ashore, accompanied by myself and two monkeys, namely, our supercargo and an interpreter; after clearing the ship and disposing of the cargo, we returned, and shortly set sail.

In three days we reached Music-land. After casting anchor, we went on shore, preceded by one of the interpreters, who carried a bass-viol in his hand. As we found the whole country about us empty and desolate, discovering no where any trace of living creatures, the captain ordered a trumpet to be sounded, to inform the inhabitants of our arrival. Before the echoes of the blast from the trumpet had subsided, (and they seemed to penetrate farther and reverberate longer than usual from the perfect stillness of this apparently void region,) about thirty musical instruments came hopping towards us. These were bass-viols. On the very long neck of each was placed a little head; the body was also small, and covered by a smooth bark, which, however, did not close entirely around the frame, but was open in front and disposed loosely about them. Over the navel, nature had built a bridge, above which four strings were drawn. The whole machine rested on a single leg, so that their motion was a spring rather than a walk. Their activity was very great, and they jumped with much agility over the fields. In short, we should have taken them for musical instruments, as their general appearance purported, if they had not had each two arms and hands. In the one hand was a bow, the other was used upon the frets. When our interpreter would converse with them, he put his viol in its position, and commenced playing an air. They immediately answered him by touching their strings, and thus alternating with each other, a regular musical conversation was carried on. At first they played only Adagio, with much harmony; then they passed over to discordant tunes; and finally concluded with a very pleasant and lively Presto. As soon as our people heard this, they leaped and sung for joy, saying, that the bargain for the wares was now fixed. Afterwards I learnt that the Adagio, they first played, was merely an opening or preface to the conversation, and consisted only of compliments; that the discordant tones which followed, were bickerings and disputes about prices; and, finally, that the sweet sounding Presto indicated that an agreement had been made. At the conclusion of these negotiations, the wares stipulated for were landed. The most important of these is Kolofonium, with which the inhabitants rub their bows or organs of speech.

Late in the month of Cusan, we set sail from Music-land, and after some days sailing hove in sight of a new land, which, on account of the foul smell that reached our noses at a great distance, our seamen supposed to be Pyglossia.

The inhabitants of this land are not very unlike the human race in their general appearance; the sole difference being, that these people have no mouth: they speak from the face which turns towards the south when the nose points to the north. The first of them who came on board, was a rich merchant. He saluted us after the custom of his nation, by turning his back towards us, and immediately began to bargain with us for our wares. I kept myself considerably remote during the negotiation, as neither the sound nor the smell of his speech pleased me. To my great horror our barber was taken sick at this time, so that I was obliged to summon a Pyglossian perfume. As the barbers here are quite as talkative as among us, this one, while shaving me, filled the cabin with so disagreeable a smell, that, on his departure, we were obliged to smoke with all the incense we had on board.

We sailed hence to Iceland. This land consisted of desolate rocks, covered by eternal snows. The inhabitants who are all of ice, live here and there in the clefts of the rocks on the tops of the mountains, where the sun is never seen, enveloped by almost perpetual darkness and frost. The only light they have comes from the shining rime.

These lands, of which I here have given a view, are all subject to the great emperor of Mezendora proper, and are therefore called by seafaring people the Mezendoric islands. This great and wonderful country, namely, Mezendora, is the goal of all extended voyages. Eight days sail from Iceland brought us to the imperial residence. There we found all that realized, which our poets have fancied of the societies of animals, trees and plants; Mezendora being, so to speak, the common father-land of all sensible animals and plants. In this empi............