How Pantagruel set up one trophy in memorial of their valour, and Panurge another in remembrance of the hares. How Pantagruel likewise with his farts begat little men, and with his fisgs little women; and how Panurge broke a great staff over two glasses.

Before we depart hence, said Pantagruel, in remembrance of the exploit that you have now performed I will in this place erect a fair trophy. Then every man amongst them, with great joy and fine little country songs, set up a huge big post, whereunto they hanged a great cuirassier saddle, the fronstal of a barbed horse, bridle-bosses, pulley-pieces for the knees, stirrup-leathers, spurs, stirrups, a coat of mail, a corslet tempered with steel, a battle-axe, a strong, short, and sharp horseman’s sword, a gauntlet, a horseman’s mace, gushet-armour for the armpits, leg-harness, and a gorget, with all other furniture needful for the decorement of a triumphant arch, in sign of a trophy. And then Pantagruel, for an eternal memorial, wrote this victorial ditton, as followeth:—

Here was the prowess made apparent of

Four brave and valiant champions of proof,

Who, without any arms but wit, at once,

Like Fabius, or the two Scipions,

Burnt in a fire six hundred and threescore

Crablice, strong rogues ne’er vanquished before.

By this each king may learn, rook, pawn, and knight,

That sleight is much more prevalent than might.

For victory,

As all men see,

Hangs on the ditty

Of that committee

Where the great God

Hath his abode.

Nor doth he it to strong and great men give,

But to his elect, as we must believe;

Therefore shall he obtain wealth and esteem,

Who thorough faith doth put his trust in him.

Whilst Pantagruel was writing these foresaid verses, Panurge halved and fixed upon a great stake the horns of a roebuck, together with the skin and the right forefoot thereof, the ears of three leverets, the chine of a coney, the jaws of a hare, the wings of two bustards, the feet of four queest-doves, a bottle or borracho full of vinegar, a horn wherein to put salt, a wooden spit, a larding stick, a scurvy kettle full of holes, a dripping-pan to make sauce in, an earthen salt-cellar, and a goblet of Beauvais. Then, in imitation of Pantagruel’s verses and trophy, wrote that which followeth:—

Here was it that four jovial blades sat down

To a profound carousing, and to crown

Their banquet with those wines which please best great

Bacchus, the monarch of their drinking state.

Then were the reins and furch of a young hare,

With salt and vinegar, displayed there,

Of which to snatch a bit or two at once

They all fell on like hungry scorpions.

For th’ Inventories

Of Defensories

Say that in heat

We must drink neat

All out, and of

The choicest stuff.

But it is bad to eat of young hare’s flesh,

Unless with vinegar we it refresh.

Receive this tenet, then, wit............