I am going to the parliament;

You understand this bag. If you have any business

Depending there be short, and let me hear it,

And pay your fees.

Little French Lawyer

‘Shall you be able to carry this honest fellow’s cause for him?’ said Mannering.

‘Why, I don’t know; the battle is not to the strong, but he shall come off triumphant over Jock of Dawston if we can make it out. I owe him something. It is the pest of our profession that we seldom see the best side of human nature. People come to us with every selfish feeling newly pointed and grinded; they turn down the very caulkers of their animosities and prejudices, as smiths do with horses’ shoes in a white frost. Many a man has come to my garret yonder that I have at first longed to pitch out at the window, and yet at length have discovered that he was only doing as I might have done in his case, being very angry, and of course very unreasonable. I have now satisfied myself that, if our profession sees more of human folly and human roguery than others, it is because we witness them acting in that channel in which they can most freely vent themselves. In civilised society law is the chimney through which all that smoke discharges itself that used to circulate through the whole house, and put every one’s eyes out; no wonder, therefore, that the vent itself should sometimes get a little sooty. But we will take care our Liddesdale man’s cause is well conducted and well argued, so all unnecessary expense will be saved: he shall have his pine-apple at wholesale price.’

‘Will you do me the pleasure,’ said Mannering, as they parted, ‘to dine with me at my lodgings? My landlord says he has a bit of red-deer venison and some excellent wine.’

‘Venison, eh?’ answered the Counsellor alertly, but presently added — ‘But no! it’s impossible; and I can’t ask you home neither. Monday’s a sacred day; so’s Tuesday; and Wednesday we are to be heard in the great teind case in presence, but stay — it’s frosty weather, and if you don’t leave town, and that venison would keep till Thursday — ’

‘You will dine with me that day?’

‘Under certification.’

‘Well, then, I will indulge a thought I had of spending a week here; and if the venison will not keep, why we will see what else our landlord can do for us.’

‘O, the venison will keep,’ said Pleydell; ‘and now good-bye. Look at these two or three notes, and deliver them if you like the addresses. I wrote them for you this morning. Farewell, my clerk has been waiting this hour to begin a d-d information.’ And away walked Mr. Pleydell with great activity, diving through closes and ascending covered stairs in order to attain the High Street by an access which, compared to the common route, was what the Straits of Magellan are to the more open but circuitous passage round Cape Horn.

On looking at the notes of introduction which Pleydell had thrust into his hand, Mannering was gratified with seeing that they were addressed to some of the first literary characters of Scotland. ‘To David Hume, Esq.’

To John Home, Esq.’ ‘To Dr. Ferguson.’ ‘To Dr. Black.’ ‘To Lord Kaimes.’ ‘To Mr. Button.’ ‘To John Clerk, Esq., of Eldin.’ ‘To Adam Smith, Esq.’ ‘To Dr. Robertson.’

‘Upon my word, my legal friend has a good selection of acquaintances; these are names pretty widely blown indeed. An East-Indian must rub up his facultiesa little, and put his mind in order, before he enters this sort of society.’

Mannering gladly availed himself of these introductions; and we regret deeply it is not in our power to give the reader an account of the pleasure and information which he received in admission to a circle never closed against strangers of sense and information, and which has perhaps at no period been equalled, considering the depth and variety of talent which it embraced and concentrated.

Upon the Thursday appointed Mr. Pleydell made his appearance at the inn where Colonel Mannering lodged. The venison proved in high order, the claret excellent, and the learned counsel, a professed amateur in the affairs of the table, did distinguished honour to both. I am uncertain, however, if even the good cheer gave him more satisfaction than the presence of Dominie Sampson, from whom, in his own juridical style of wit, he contrived to extract great amusement both for himself and one or two friends whom the Colonel regaled on the same occasion. The grave and laconic simplicity of Sampson’s answers to the insidious questions of the barrister placed the bonhomie of his character in a more luminous point of view than Mannering had yet seen it. Upon the same occasion he drew forth a strange quantity of miscellaneous and abstruse, though, generally speaking, useless learning. The lawyer afterwards compared his mind to the magazine of a pawnbroker, stowed with goods of every description, but so cumbrously piled together, and in such total disorganisation, that the owner can never lay his hands upon any one article at the moment he has occasion for it.

As for the advocate himself, he afforded at least as much exercise to Sampson as he extracted amusement from him. When the man of law began to get into his altitudes, and his wit, naturally shrewd and dry, became more lively and poignant, the Dominie looked upon him with that sort of surprise with which we can conceive a tame bear might regard his future associate, the monkey, on their being first introduced to each other. It was Mr. Pleydell’s delight to state in grave and serious argument some position which he knew the Dominie would be inclined to dispute. He then beheld with exquisite pleasure the internal labour with which the honest man arranged his ideas for reply, and tasked his inert and sluggish powers to bring up all the heavy artillery of his learning for demolishing the schismatic or heretical opinion which had been stated, when behold, before the ordnance could be discharged, the foe had quitted the post and appeared in a new position of annoyance on the Dominie’s flank or rear. Often did he exclaim ‘Prodigious!’ when, marching up to the enemy in full confidence of victory, he found the field evacuated, and it may be supposed that it cost him no little labour to attempt a new formation. ‘He was like a native Indian army,’ the Colonel said, ‘formidable by numerical strength and size of ordnance, but liable to be thrown into irreparable confusion by a movement to take them in flank.’ On the whole, however, the Dominie, though somewhat fatigued with these mental exertions, made at unusual speed and upon the pressure of the moment, reckoned this one of the white days of his life, and always mentioned Mr. Pleydell as a very erudite and fa-ce-ti-ous person.

By degrees the rest of the party dropped off and left these three gentlemen together. Their conversation turned to Mrs. Bertram’s settlements. ‘Now what could drive it into the noddle of that old harridan,’ said Pleydell, ‘to disinherit poor Lucy Bertram under pretence of settling her property on a boy who has been so long dead and gone? I ask your pardon, Mr. Sampson, I forgot what an affecting case this was for you; I remember taking your examination upon it, and I never had so much trouble to make any one speak three words consecutively. You may talk of your Pythagoreans or your silent Brahmins, Colonel; go to, I tell you this learned gentleman beats them all in taciturnity; but the words of the wise are precious, and not to be thrown away lightly.’

‘Of a surety,’ said the Dominie, taking his blue-checqued handkerchief from his eyes, ‘that was a bitter day with me indeed; ay, and a day of grief hard to be borne; but He giveth strength who layeth on the load.’

Colonel Mannering took this opportunity to request Mr. Pleydell to inform him of the particulars attending the loss of the boy; and the Counsellor, who was fond of talking upon subjects of criminal jurisprudence, especially when connected with his own experience, went through the circumstances at full length. ‘And what is your opinion upon the result of the whole?’

‘O, that Kennedy was murdered: it’s an old case which has occurred on that coast before now, the case of Smuggler versus Exciseman.’

‘What, then, is your conjecture concerning the fate of the child?’

‘O, murdered too, doubtless,’ answered Pleydell. ‘He was old enough to tell what he had seen, and these ruthless scoundrels would not scruple committing a second Bethlehem massacre if they thought their interest required it.’

The Dominie groaned deeply, and ejaculated, ‘Enormous!’

‘Yet there was mention of gipsies in the business too, Counsellor,’ said Mannering, ‘and from what that vulgar-looking fellow said after the funeral — ’

‘Mrs. Margaret Bertram’s idea that the child was alive was founded upon the report of a gipsy?’ said Pleydell, catching at the half-spoken hint. ‘I envy you the concatenation, Colonel; it is a shame to me not to have drawn the same conclusion. We’ll follow this business up instantly. Here, hark ye, waiter, go down to Luckie Wood’s in the Cowgate; ye’ll find my clerk Driver; he’ll be set down to high jinks by this time — for we and our retainers, Colonel, are exceedingly regular in our irregularities — tell him to come here instantly and I will pay his forfeits.’

‘He won’t appear in character, will he?’ said Mannering.

‘Ah! “no more of that, Hal, an thou lovest me,”’ said Pleydell. ‘But we must have some news from the land of Egypt, if possible. O, if I had but hold of the slightest thread of this complicated skein, you should see how I would unravel it! I would work the truth out of your Bohemian, as the French call them, better than a monitoire or a plainte de Tournelle; I know how to manage a refractory witness.’

While Mr. Pleydell was thus vaunting his knowledge of his profession, the waiter reentered with Mr. Driver, his mouth still greasy with mutton pies, and the froth of the last draught of twopenny yet unsubsided on his upper lip, with such speed had he obeyed the commands of his principal. ‘Driver, you must go instantly and find out the woman who was old Mrs. Margaret Bertram’s maid. Inquire for her everywhere, but if you find it necessary to have recourse to Protocol, Quid the tobacconist, or an............