It is a good and soothfast saw;

Half-roasted never will be raw;

No dough is dried once more to meal

No crock new-shapen by the wheel;

You can’t turn curds to milk again,

Nor Now, by wishing, back to Then;

And having tasted stolen honey,

You can’t buy innocence for money.

JERMYN was not particularly pleased that some chance had apparently hindered Harold Transome from making other canvassing visits immediately after leaving Mr Lyon, and so had sent him back to the office earlier than he had been expected to come. The inconvenient chance he guessed at once to be represented by Felix Holt, whom he knew very well by Trebian report to be a young man with so little of the ordinary Christian motives as to making an appearance and getting on in the world, that he presented no handle to any judicious and respectable person who might be willing to make use of him.

Harold Transome, on his side, was a good deal annoyed at being worried by Felix into an inquiry about electioneering details. The real dignity and honesty there was in him made him shrink from this necessity of satisfying a man with a troublesome tongue; it was as if he were to show indignation at the discovery of one barrel with a false bottom, when he had invested his money in a manufactory where a larger or smaller number of such barrels had always been made. A practical man must seek a good end by the only possible means; that is to say, if he is to get into parliament he must not be too particular. It was not disgraceful to be neither a Quixote nor a theorist, aiming to correct the moral rules of the world; but whatever actually was, or might prove to be, disgraceful, Harold held in detestation. In this mood he pushed on unceremoniously to the inner office without waiting to ask questions; and when he perceived that Jermyn was not alone, he said, with haughty quickness —

‘A question about the electioneering at Sproxton. Can you give your attention to it at once? Here is Mr Holt, who has come to me about the business.’

‘A— yes — a — certainly,’ said Jermyn, who, as usual, was the more cool and deliberate because he was vexed. He was standing, and, as he turned round, his broad figure concealed the person who was seated writing at the bureau. ‘Mr Holt — a — will doubtless — a — make a point of saving a busy man’s time. You can speak at once. This gentleman’ — here Jermyn made a slight backward movement of his head — ‘is one of ourselves; he is a true-blue.’

‘I have simply to complain,’ said Felix, ‘that one of your agents has been sent on a bribing expedition to Sproxton — with what purpose you, sir, may know better than I do. Mr Transome, it appears, was ignorant of the affair, and does not approve it.’

Jermyn, looking gravely and steadily at Felix while he was speaking, at the same time drew forth a small sheaf of papers from his side-pocket, and then, as he turned his eyes slowly on Harold, felt in his waistcoat-pocket for his pencil-case.

‘I don’t approve it at all,’ said Harold, who hated Jermyn’s calculated slowness and conceit in his own impenetrability. ‘Be good enough to put a stop to it, will you?’

‘Mr Holt, I know, is an excellent Liberal,’ said Jermyn, just inclining his head to Harold, and then alternately looking at Felix and docketing his bills; ‘but he is perhaps too inexperienced to be aware that no canvass — a — can be conducted without the action of able men, who must — a — be trusted, and not interfered with. And as to any possibility of promising to put a stop — a — to any procedure — a — that depends. If he had ever held the coachman’s ribbons in his hands, as I have in my younger days — a — he would know that stopping is not always easy.’

‘I know very little about holding ribbons,’ said Felix; ‘but I saw clearly enough at once that more mischief had been done than could be well mended. Though I believe, if it were heartily tried, the treating might be reduced, and something might be done to hinder the men from turning out in a body to make a noise, which might end in worse.’

‘They might be hindered from making a noise on our side,’ said Jermyn, smiling. ‘That is perfectly true. But if they made a noise on the other — would your purpose be answered better, sir?’

Harold was moving about in an irritated manner while Felix and Jermyn were speaking. He preferred leaving the talk to the attorney, of whose talk he himself liked to keep as clear as possible.

‘I can only say,’ answered Felix, ‘that if you make use of those heavy fellows when the drink is in them, I shouldn’t like your responsibility. You might as well drive bulls to roar on our side as bribe a set of colliers and navvies to shout and groan.’

‘A lawyer may well envy your command of language, Mr Holt,’ said Jermyn, pocketing his bills again, and shutting up his pencil; ‘but he would not be satisfied with the accuracy — a — of your terms. You must permit me to check your use of the word “bribery”. The essence of bribery is, that it should be legally proved; there is not such a thing — a — in rerum natura — a — as unproved bribery. There has been no such thing as bribery at Sproxton, I’ll answer for it. The presence of a body of stalwart fellows on — a — the Liberal side will tend to preserve order; for we know that the benefit clubs from the Pitchley district will show for Debarry. Indeed, the gentleman who has conducted the canvass at Sproxton is experienced in parliamentary affairs, and would not exceed — a — the necessary measures that a rational judgment would dictate!’

‘What! you mean the man who calls himself Johnson?’ said Felix, in a tone of disgust.

Before Jermyn chose to answer, Harold broke in, saying, quickly and peremptorily, ‘The long and short of it is this, Mr Holt: I shall desire and insist that whatever can be done by way of remedy shall be done. Will that satisfy you? You see now some of a candidate’s difficulties?’ said Harold, breaking into his most agreeable smile. ‘I hope you will have some pity for me.’

‘I suppose I must be content,’ said Felix, not thoroughly propitiated. ‘I bid you good-morning, gentlemen.’

When he was gone out, and had closed the door behind him, Harold, turning round and flashing, in spite of himself, an angry look at Jermyn, said —

‘And who is Johnson? an alias, I suppose. It seems you are fond of the name.’

Jermyn turned perceptibly paler, but disagreeables of this sort between himself and Harold had been too much in his anticipations of late for him to be taken by surprise. He turned quietly round and just touched the shoulder of the person seated at the bureau, who now rose.

‘On the contrary,’ Jermyn answered, ‘the Johnson in question is this gentleman, whom I have the pleasure of introducing to you as one of my most active helpmates in electioneering business — Mr Johnson, of Bedford Row, London. I am comparatively a novice — a — in these matters. But he was engaged with James Putty in two hardly-contested elections, and there could scarcely be a better initiation. Putty is one of the first men of the country as an agent — a — on the Liberal side — a — eh, Johnson? I think Makepiece is — a — not altogether a match for him, not quite of the same calibre — a — haud consimili ingenio — a — in tactics — a — and in experience?’

‘Makepiece is a wonderful man, and so is Putty,’ said the glib Johnson, too vain not to be pleased with an opportunity of speaking, even when the situation was rather awkward. ‘Makepiece for scheming, but Putty for management. Putty knows men, sir,’ he went on, turning to Harold; ‘it’s a thousand pities that you have not had his talents employed in your service. He’s beyond any man for saving a candidate’s money — does half the work with his tongue. He’ll talk of anything, from the Areopagus, and that sort of thing, down to the joke about “Where are you going, Paddy?” — you know what I mean, sir! “Back again, says Paddy” — an excellent electioneering joke. Putty understands these things. He has said to me, “Johnson, bear in mind there are two ways of speaking an audience will always like: one is, to tell them what they don’t understand; and the other is, to tell them what they’re used to.” I shall never be the man to deny that I owe a great deal to Putty. I always say it was a most providential thing in the Mugham election last year that Putty was not on the Tory side. He managed the women; and if you’ll believe me, sir, one fourth of the men would never have voted if their wives hadn’t driven them to it for the good of their families. And a............