The secret house. When she died I went there. Ma'am wouldn't let me go outside in the yard andeat with the others. We stayed inside. That hurt. I know Grandma Baby would have liked the partyand the people who came to it, because she got low not seeing anybody or going anywhere — justgrieving and thinking about colors and how she made a mistake. That what she thought about whatthe heart and the body could do was wrong. The whitepeople came anyway. In her yard. She haddone everything right and they came in her yard anyway. And she didn't know what to think. Allshe had left was her heart and they busted it so even the War couldn't rouse her.

　　She told me all my daddy's things. How hard he worked to buy her. After the cake was ruined andthe ironed clothes all messed up, and after I heard my sister crawling up the stairs to get back toher bed, she told me my things too. That I was charmed. My birth was and I got saved all the time.

　　And that I shouldn't be afraid of the ghost. It wouldn't harm me because I tasted its blood whenMa'am nursed me. She said the ghost was after Ma'am and her too for not doing anything to stop it.

　　But it would never hurt me. I just had to watch out for it because it was a greedy ghost and neededa lot of love, which was only natural, considering. And I do. Love her. I do. She played with meand always came to be with me whenever I needed her. She's mine, Beloved. She's mine.

　　I AM and she is mine. I see her take flowers away from leaves she puts them in a round basket theleaves are not for her she fills the basket she opens the grass I would help her but the clouds are inthe way how can I say things that are pictures I am not separate from her there is no place where Istop her face is my own and I want to be there in the place where her face is and to be looking at ittoo a hot thing All of it is now it is always now there will never be a time when I am not crouchingand watching others who are crouching too I am always crouching the man on my face is dead hisface is not mine his mouth smells sweet but his eyes are locked some who eat nasty themselves Ido not eat the men without skin bring us their morning water to drink we have none at night Icannot see the dead man on my face daylight comes through the cracks and I can see his locked eyes I am not big small rats do not wait for us to sleep someone is thrashing but there is no room todo it in if we had more to drink we could make tears we cannot make sweat or morning water sothe men without skin bring us theirs one time they bring us sweet rocks to suck we are all trying toleave our bodies behind the man on my face has done it it is hard to make yourself die forever yousleep short and then return in the beginning we could vomit now we do not now we cannot histeeth are pretty white points someone is trembling I can feel it over here he is fighting hard to leavehis body which is a small bird trembling there is no room to tremble so he is not able to die myown dead man is pulled away from my face I miss his pretty white points We are not crouchingnow we are standing but my legs are like my dead man's eyes I cannot fall because there is noroom to the men without skin are making loud noises I am not dead the bread is sea-colored I amtoo hungry to eat it the sun closes my eyes those able to die are in a pile I cannot find my man theone whose teeth I have loved a hot thing the little hill of dead people a hot thing the men withoutskin push them through with poles the woman is there with the face I want the face that is minethey fall into the sea which is the color of the bread she has nothing in her ears if I had the teeth ofthe man who died on my face I would bite the circle around her neck bite it away I know she doesnot like it now there is room to crouch and to watch the crouching others it is the crouching that isnow always now inside the woman with my face is in the sea a hot thing In the beginning I couldsee her I could not help her because the clouds were in the way in the beginning I could see her theshining in her ears she does not like the circle around her neck I know this I look hard at her so shewi............