BEFORE the Cleves party assembled to breakfast, after the various arrangements made for Southampton, Mr. Dubster arrived and demanded an interview with Sir Hugh, who, attending him to the drawing-room, asked his pleasure.
‘Why, have not you read the young gentleman’s letter, sir?’ cried he, surprised, ‘because, he said, he’d put it all down, as a pike staff, to save time.’
Sir Hugh had not heard of it.
‘Why, then, if you please, sir, we’ll go and ask that gentlewoman, what she’s done with it. She might as well have shewed it, after the young gentleman’s taking the trouble to write it to her. But she is none of the good naturedest, I take it.’
Repairing, then, to Miss Margland, after his usual the company, ‘I ask pardon, ma’am,’ he cried; ‘but what’s the reason of your keeping the young gentleman’s letter to yourself, which was writ o’purpose to let the old gentleman know what I come for?’
‘Because I never trouble myself with any thing that’s impertinent,’ she haughtily answered: though, in fact, when the family had retired, she had stolen downstairs, and read the letter; which contained a warm recommendation of Mr. Dubster to her favour, with abundant flippant offers to promote her own interest for so desirable a match, should Camilla prove blind to its advantages. This she had then burnt, with a determination never to acknowledge her condescension in opening it.
The repeated calls of Mr. Dubster procuring no further satisfaction; ‘Why, then, I don’t see,’ he said, ‘but what I’m as bad off, as if the young gentleman had not writ the letter, for I’ve got to speak for myself at last.’
Taking Sir Hugh, then, by a button of his coat, he desired he would go back with him to the other parlour: and there, with much circumlocution, and unqualified declarations of his having given over all thoughts of further marrying, till the young gentleman over persuaded him of his being particular agreeable to the young lady, he solemnly proposed himself for Miss Camilla Tyrold.
Sir Hugh, who perceived in this address nothing that was ridiculous, was somewhat drawn from reflecting on his own disappointment, by the pity he conceived for this hopeless suitor, to whom with equal circumlocution of concern, he communicated, that his niece was on the point of marriage with a neighbour.
‘I know that,’ replied Mr. Dubster, nodding sagaciously, ‘the young gentleman having told me of the young baronight; but he said it was all against her will, being only your over teasing, and the like.’
‘The Lord be good unto me!’ exclaimed the baronet, holding up his hands–‘if I don’t think all the young boys have a mind to drive me out of my wits, one after t’other!’
Hurrying, then, back to the breakfast parlour, and to Camilla, ‘Come hither, my dear,’ he cried, ‘for here’s a gentleman come to make his addresses to you, that won’t take an answer.’
Every serious thought, and every melancholy apprehension in Camilla gave place, at this speech, to the ludicrous image of such an admirer as Mr. Dubster, foisted upon her by the ridiculous machinations of Lionel. She took Sir Hugh by the hand, and, drawing him away to the most distant window, said, in a low voice ‘My dear uncle, this is a mere trick of Lionel; the person you see here is, I believe, a tinker.’
‘A tinker!’ repeated Sir Hugh, quite loud, in defiance of the signs and hists! hists! of Camilla, ‘good lack! that’s a person I should never have thought of!’ Then, walking up to Mr. Dubster, who was taking into his hands all the ornaments from the chimney-piece, one by one, to examine, ‘Sir,’ he said, ‘you may be a very good sort of man, and I don’t doubt but you are, for proper respect for every trade in its way; but in point of marrying my niece, it’s a thing I must beg you to put out of your head; it not being a proper subject to talk of to a young lady, from a person in that line.’
‘Very well, sir,’ answered Mr. Dubster, stiffly, and pouting, ‘it’s not of much consequence; don’t make yourself There’s nothing in what I was going to propose but what was quite genteel. I’d scorn to address a lady else. She’d have a good five hundred a-year, in case of outliving me.’
‘Good lack! five hundred a-year! who’d have thought of such a thing by the tinkering business?’
‘The what business, did you say, sir?’ cried Mr. Dubster, strutting up to the baronet, with a solemn frown.
‘The tinkering business, my good friend. An’t you a tinker?’
‘Sir!’ cried Mr. Dubster, swelling, ‘I did not think, when coming to make such a handsome offer, of being affronted at such a rate as this. Not that I mind it. It’s not worth fretting about. However, as to a tinker, I’m no more a tinker than yourself, whatever put it in your head.’
‘Good lack, my dear,’ cried the baronet, to Camilla, ‘the gentleman quite denies it.’
Camilla, though unable to refrain from laughing, confessed she had received the information from Mrs. Arlbery at the Northwick breakfast, who, she now supposed, had said it in random sport.
Sir Hugh cordially begged his pardon, and asked him to take a seat at the breakfast table, to soften the undesigned offence.
A note now arrived from Mr. Tyrold to the baronet. It contained his consent to return, with Lavinia, to Cleves, and his ready, acquiescence in the little excursion to Southampton since Miss Margland would be superintendant of the party; ‘and since,’ he added, ‘they will have another guardian, to whom already I consign my Camilla, and, upon her account, my dear Eugenia also, with the same fearless confidence I should feel in seeing them again under the maternal wing.’
Sir Hugh, who always read his letters aloud, said, when he had done: ‘See what it is to be a good boy! my brother looks upon young Mr. Edgar as these young girls’ husband already; that is, of one of them; by which means the other becomes his sister; which, I’m sure, is a trouble he won’t mind, except as a pleasure.’ Camilla’s distress at this speech past unnoticed, from the abrupt entrance of Lynmere, giving orders aloud to his servant to get ready for Southampton.
Inflamed with triumph in his recent success in baffling his uncle, that youth was in the most turbulent spirits, and fixed a resolution either to lord it over the whole house, or regain at once his liberty for returning to the Continent.
Forcing a chair between Sir Hugh and Camilla, he seized rapidly whatever looked most inviting from every plate on the table, to place upon his own, murmuring the whole time against the horses, delaring the stud the most wretched he had ever seen, and protesting the old groom must be turned away without loss of time.
‘What, Jacob?’ cried the baronet; ‘why, nephew, he has lived with me from a boy; and now he’s grown old, I’d sooner rub down every horse with my own hand, than part with him.’
‘He must certainly go, sir. There’s no keeping him. I may be tempted else to knock his brains out some day. Besides, I have a very good fellow I can recommend to you of my own.’
‘Clermont, I’ve no doubt of his being a good fellow, which I’m very glad of; but as to your always knocking out the brains of my servants, it’s a thing I must beg you not to talk of any more, being against the law. Besides which, it don’t sound very kind of you, considering their having done you no harm; never having seen your face, as one may say, except just to wait upon you; which can hardly be reckoned a bad office; besides a servant’s being a man, as well as you whether Homer and Horace tell you so or no.’
To see Sir Hugh displeased, was a sight new to the whole house. Camilla and Eugenia, mutually pained for him, endeavoured, by various little kind offices, to divert his attention; but Indiana thought his displeasure proved her brother to be a wit; and Clermont rose in spirits and in insolence upon the same idea: too shallow to know, that of all the qualities with which the perversity of human nature is gifted, and power which is the most common to attain, and the most easy to practise, is the art of provoking.
Jacob now appearing, Lynmere ordered some shrimps.
There were none
‘There’s nothing to be had! ’Tis a wretched county this!’
‘You’ll get nice shrimps at Southampton, sir, by what hear,’ said Mr. Dubster. ‘Tom Hicks says he has been sick with ’em many a day, he’s eat such a heap. They gets ’em by hundreds and hundreds, and hundreds at a time.’
‘Pray, nephew, how long shall you stay? because of my nieces coming back at the same time.’
‘A fortnight’s enough to tire me anywhere, sir. Pray what do you a............