Perhaps Mrs Dosett had some just cause for refusing her sanction for the proposed visit to Albury. If Fate did require that Ayala should live permanently in Kingsbury Crescent, the gaiety of a very gay house, and the wealth of a very wealthy house, would hardly be good preparation for such a life. Up to the time of her going to the Marchesa in Brook Street, Ayala had certainly done her best to suit herself to her aunt’s manners — though she had done it with pain and suffering. She had hemmed the towels and mended the sheets and had made the rounds to the shops. She had endeavoured to attend to the pounds of meat and to sympathise with her aunt in the interest taken in the relics of the joints as they escaped from the hungry treatment of the two maidens in the kitchen. Ayala had been clever enough to understand that her aunt had been wounded by Lucy’s indifference, not so much because she had desired to avail herself of Lucy’s labours as from a feeling that that indifference had seemed to declare that her own pursuits were mean and vulgar. Understanding this she had struggled to make those pursuits her own — and had in part succeeded. Her aunt could talk to her about the butter and the washing, matters as to which her lips had been closed in any conversation with Lucy. That Ayala was struggling Mrs Dosett had been aware — but she had thought that such struggles were good and had not been hopeless. Then came the visit to Brook Street, and Ayala returned quite an altered young woman. It seemed as though she neither could nor would struggle any longer. “I hate mutton bones,” she said to her aunt one morning soon after her return.
“No doubt we would all like meat joints the best,” said her aunt, frowning.
“I hate joints too.”
“You have, I dare say, been cockered up at the Marchesa’s with made dishes.”
“I hate dishes,” said Ayala, petulantly.
“You don’t hate eating?”
“Yes, I do. It is ignoble. Nature should have managed it differently. We ought to have sucked it in from the atmosphere through our fingers and hairs, as the trees do by their leaves. There should have been no butchers, and no grease, and no nasty smells from the kitchen — and no gin.”
This was worse than all — this allusion to the mild but unfashionable stimulant to which Mr Dosett had been reduced by his good nature. “You are flying in the face of the Creator, Miss,” said Aunt Margaret, in her most angry voice — “in the face of the Creator who made everything, and ordained what His creatures should eat and drink by His infinite wisdom.”
“Nevertheless,” said Ayala, I think we might have done without boiled mutton.” Then she turned to some articles of domestic needlework which were in her lap so as to show that in spite of the wickedness of her opinions she did not mean to be idle. But Mrs Dosett, in her wrath, snatched the work from her niece’s hands and carried it out of the room, thus declaring that not even a pillowcase in her house should owe a stitch to the hands of a girl so ungrateful and so blasphemous.
The wrath wore off soon. Ayala, though not contrite was meek, and walked home with her aunt on the following morning, patiently carrying a pound of butter, six eggs, and a small lump of bacon in a basket. After that the pillowcase was recommitted to her. But there still was left evidence enough that the girl’s mind had been upset by the luxuries of Brook Street — evidence to which Aunt Margaret paid very much attention, insisting upon it in her colloquies with her husband. “I think that a little amusement is good for young people,” said Uncle Reginald, weakly.
“And for old people too. No doubt about it, if they can get it so as not to do them any harm at the same time. Nothing can be good for a young woman which unfits her for that state of life to which it has pleased God to call her. Ayala has to live with us. No doubt there was a struggle when she first came from your sister, Lady Tringle, but she made it gallantly, and I gave her great credit. She was just falling into a quiet mode of life when there came this invitation from the Marchesa Baldoni. Now she has come back quite an altered person, and the struggle has to be made all over again.” Uncle Reginald again expressed his opinion that young people ought to have a little amusement, but he was not strong enough to insist very much upon his theory. It certainly, however, was true that Ayala, though she still struggled, had been very much disturbed by the visit.
Then came the invitation to Stalham. There was a very pretty note from Lady Albury to Ayala herself, saying how much pleasure she would have in seeing Miss Dormer at her house, where Ayala’s old friends the Marchesa and Nina were then staying. This was accompanied by a long letter from Nina herself, in which all the charms of Stalham, including Mr Ponsonby and lawn tennis, were set forth at full length. Ayala had already heard much about Stalham and the Alburys from her friend Nina, who had hinted in a whisper that such an invitation as this might perhaps be forthcoming. She was ready enough for the visit, having looked through her wardrobe, and resolved that things which had been good enough for Brook Street would still be good enough for Stalham. But the same post had brought a letter for Mrs Dosett, and Ayala could see, that, as the letter was read, a frown came upon her aunt’s brow, and that the look on her aunt’s face was decidedly averse to Stalham. This took place soon after breakfast, when Uncle Reginald had just started for his office, and neither of them for a while said a word to the other of the letter that had been received. It was not till after lunch that Ayala spoke. “Aunt,” she said, you have had a letter from Lady Albury?”
“Yes,” said Mrs Dosett, grimly, I have had a letter from Lady Albury.”
Then there was another silence, till Ayala, whose mind was full of promised delights, could not refrain herself longer. “Aunt Margaret,” she said, “I hope you mean to let me go. For a minute or two there was no reply, and Ayala again pressed her question. “Lady Albury wants me to go to Stalham.”
“She has written to me to say that she would receive you.”
“And I may go?”
“I am strongly of opinion that you had better not,” said Mrs Dosett, confirming her decree by a nod which might have suited Jupiter.
“Oh, Aunt Margaret, why not?”
“I think it would be most prudent to decline.”
“But why — why — why, Aunt Margaret?”
“There must be expense.”
“I have money enough for the journey left of my own from what Uncle Tom gave me,” said Ayala, pleading her cause with all her eloquence.
“It is not only the money. There are other reasons — very strong reasons.”
“What reasons, Aunt Margaret?”
“My dear, it is your lot to have to live with us, and not with such people as the Marchesa Baldoni and Lady Albury.”
“I am sure I do not complain.”
“But you would complain after having for a time been used to the luxuries of Albury Park. I do not say that as finding fault, Ayala. It is human nature that it should be so.”
“But I won’t complain. Have I ever complained?”
“Yes, my dear. You told me the other day that you did not like bones of mutton, and you were disgusted because things were greasy. I do not say this by way of scolding you, Ayala, but only that you may understand what must be the effect of your going from such a house as this to such a house as Stalham, and then returning back from Stalham to such a house as this. You had better be contented with your position.”
“I am contented with my position,” sobbed Ayala.
“And allow me to write to Lady Albury refusing the invitation.”
But Ayala could not be brought to look at the matter with her aunt’s eyes. When her aunt pressed her for an answer which should convey her consent she would give none, and at last left the room bitterly sobbing. Turning the matter over in her own bosom upstairs she determined to be mutinous. No doubt she owed a certain amount of obedience to her aunt; but had she not been obedient, had she not worked hard and lugged about that basket of provisions, and endeavoured to take an interest in all her aunt’s concerns? Was she so absolutely the property of her aunt that she was bound to do everything her aunt desired to the utter annihilation of all her hopes, to the extermination of her promised joys? She felt that she had succeeded in Brook Street. She had met no Angel of Light, but she was associated with people whom she had liked, and had been talked to by those to whom it had been a pleasure to listen. That colonel with the quaint name and the ugly face was still present to her memory as he had leaned over her shoulder at the theatre, making her now laugh by his drollery, and now filling her mind with interest by his description of the scenes which she was seeing. She was sure that all this, or something of the same n............