The special train for Southampton, drawn1 up against the main-line platform at Waterloo, seemed to have resigned itself with an almost animal passivity to the onslaught of the crowd of well-dressed men and women who were boarding it. From the engine a thin column of steam rose lazily to the angular roof, where a few sparrows fluttered with sudden swoops2 and short flights. The engine-driver leaned against the side of the cab, stroking his beard; the stoker was trimming coal on the tender. Those two knew the spectacle by heart: the scattered3 piles of steamer trunks amidst which passengers hurried hither and thither4 with no apparent object; the continual purposeless opening and shutting of carriage doors; the deferential5 gestures of the glittering guard as he bent6 an ear to ladies whose footmen stood respectfully behind them; the swift movements of the bookstall clerk selling papers, and the meditative7 look of the bookstall manager as he swept his hand along the shelf of new novels and selected a volume which he could thoroughly8 recommend to the customer in the fur coat; the long colloquies9 between husbands and wives, sons and mothers, daughters and fathers, fathers and sons, lovers and lovers, punctuated10 sometimes by the fluttering of a handkerchief, or the placing of a hand on a shoulder; the unconcealed agitation11 of most and the carefully studied calm of a few; the grimaces12 of porters when passengers had turned away; the slow absorption by their train of all the luggage and nearly all the people; the creeping of the clock towards the hour; the kisses; the tears; the lowering of the signal,—to them it was no more than a common street-scene.
Richard, having obtained leave from the office, arrived at a quarter to twelve. He peered up and down. Could it be that she was really going? Not even yet had he grown accustomed to the idea, and at times he still said to himself, "It isn't really true; there must be some mistake." The moment of separation, now that it was at hand, he accused of having approached sneakingly to take him unawares. He was conscious of no great emotion, such as his æsthetic sense of fitness might have led him to expect,—nothing but a dull joylessness, the drab, negative sensations of a convict foretasting a sentence of years.
There she stood, by the bookstall, engaged in lively talk with the clerk, while other customers waited. Lottie was beside her, holding a bag. The previous night they had slept at Morley's Hotel.
"Everything is all right, I hope?" he said, eyeing her narrowly, and feeling extremely sentimental13.
"Yes, thank you.... Lottie, you must go and keep watch over our seats.... Well," she went on briskly, when they were left alone, "I am actually going. I feel somehow as if it can't be true."
"Why, that is exactly how I have felt for days!" he answered, allowing his voice to languish14, and then fell into silence. He assiduously coaxed15 himself into a mood of resigned melancholy16. With sidelong glances, as they walked quietly down the platform, he scanned her face, decided17 it was divine, and dwelt lovingly on the thought: "I shall never see it again."
"A dull day for you to start!" he murmured, in tones of gentle concern.
"Yes, and do you know, a gentleman in the hotel told me we should be certain to have bad weather, and that made me so dreadfully afraid that I nearly resolved to stay in England." She laughed.
"Ah, if you would!" he had half a mind to exclaim, but just then he became aware of his affectation and trampled18 on it. The conversation proceeded naturally to the subject of seasickness19 and the little joys and perils20 of the voyage. Strange topics for a man and a woman about to be separated, probably for ever! And yet Richard, for his part, could think of none more urgent.
"I had better get in now, had I not?" she said. The clock stood at five minutes to noon. Her face was sweetly serious as she raised it to his, holding out her hand.
"Take care of yourself," was his fatuous21 parting admonition.
Her hand rested in his own, and he felt it tighten22. Beneath the veil the colour deepened a little in her rosy23 cheeks.
"I didn't tell you," she said abruptly24, "that my uncles had begged me to go to them weeks and weeks ago. I didn't tell you—and I put them off—because I thought I would wait and see if you and I—cared for each other."
It had come, the explanation! He blushed red, and stuck to her hand. The atmosphere was suddenly electric. The station and the crowd were blotted25 out.
"You understand?" she questioned, smiling bravely.
"Yes."
He was dimly conscious of having shaken hands with Lottie, of the banging of many doors, of Adeline's face framed in a ............