On the little table between the windows lay pen, ink, and paper. Richard sat down to be an author. Since his conversation with Mr. Aked of the day before he had lived in the full glow of an impulse to write. He discerned, or thought he discerned, in the fact that he possessed11 the literary gift, a key to his recent life. It explained, to be particular, the passion for reading which had overtaken him at seventeen, and his desire to come to London, the natural home of the author. Certainly it was strange that hitherto he had devoted12 very little serious thought to the subject of writing, but happily there were in existence sundry13 stray verses and prose fragments written at Bursley, and it contented14 him to recognise in these the first tremulous stirrings of a late-born ambition.
During the previous evening he had busied himself in deciding upon a topic. In a morning paper he had read an article entitled "An Island of Sleep," descriptive of Sark; it occurred to him that a similar essay upon Lichfield, the comatose15 cathedral city which lay about thirty miles from Bursley, might suit a monthly magazine. He knew Lichfield well; he had been accustomed to visit it from childhood; he loved it. As a theme full of picturesque16 opportunities it had quickened his imagination, until his brain seemed to surge with vague but beautiful fancies. In the night his sleep had been broken, and several new ideas had suggested themselves. And now, after a day of excited anticipation17, the moment for composition had arrived.
As he dipped his pen in the ink a sudden apprehension18 of failure surprised him. He dismissed it, and wrote in a bold hand, rather carefully,—
MEMORIES OF A CITY OF SLEEP.
That was surely an excellent title. He proceeded:—
On the old stone bridge, beneath which the clear, smooth waters of the river have crept at the same pace for centuries, stands a little child, alone. It is early morning, and the clock of the time-stained cathedral which lifts its noble gothic towers scarce a hundred yards away, strikes five, to the accompaniment of an unseen lark19 overhead.
He sat back to excogitate the next sentence, staring around the room as if he expected to find the words written on the wall. One of the gilt-framed photographs was slightly askew20; he left his chair to put it straight; several other pictures seemed to need adjustment, and he levelled them all with scrupulous21 precision. The ornaments22 on the mantelpiece were not evenly balanced; these he rearranged entirely23. Then, having first smoothed out a crease24 in the bedcover, he sat down again.
But most of the beautiful ideas which he had persuaded himself were firmly within his grasp, now eluded25 him, or tardily26 presented themselves in a form so obscure as to be valueless, and the useful few that remained defied all attempts to bring them into order. Dashed by his own impotence, he sought out the article on Sark, and examined it afresh. Certain weekly organs of literature had educated him to sneer27 at the journalism28 of the daily press, but it appeared that the man who wrote "An Island of Sleep" was at least capable of expressing himself with clearness and fluency29, and possessed the skill to pass naturally from one aspect of his subject to another. It seemed simple enough....
He went to the window.
The sky was a delicate amber30, and Richard watched it change to rose, and from rose to light blue. The gas-lamps glared out in quick succession; some one lowered the blind of a window opposite his own, and presently a woman's profile was silhouetted31 against it for a moment, and then vanished. A melody came from the public house, sung in a raucous32 baritone to the thrumming of a guitar; the cries of the playing children had now ceased.
Suddenly turning into the room, he was astonished to find it almost in darkness; he could distinguish only the whiteness of the papers on the table.
He was not in the mood for writing to-night. Some men wrote best in the evening, others in the morning. Probably he belonged to the latter class. Be that as it might, he would rise at six the next morning and make a new beginning. "It's only a question of practice, of course," he said, half aloud, repressing a troublesome dubiety. He would take a short walk, and go early to bed. Gradually his self-confidence returned.
As he closed the front door there was a rustle33 of silks and a transient odour of violets; a woman had gone by. She turned slightly at the sound of the door, and Richard had a glimpse of a young and pretty face under a spreading hat, a full, ripe bust34 whose alluring35 contours were perfectly36 disclosed by a tight-fitting bodice, and two small white hands, in one a dangling37 pair of gloves, in the other an umbrella. He passed her, and waited at the corner by Tattersall's till she overtook him again. Now she stood on the kerb within six feet of him, humming an air and smiling to herself. Up went the umbrella to signal for a hansom.
"The Ottoman," Richard heard her say across the roof of the cab, the driver leaning forward with his hand to his ear. What a child's voice it seemed, lisping and artless!
The cabman winked38 at Richard, and gently flicked39 his horse. In a moment the hansom was two dwindling40 specks41 of red in a shifting multitude of lights.
An hour later he saw her in the promenade42 of the theatre; she stood against a pillar, her eyes on the entrance. As their glances met, she threw her head a little backwards43, like one who looks through spectacles on the end of his nose, and showed her teeth. He sat down near her.
Presently she waved her hand to a man who was coming in. He seemed about thirty, with small, clear eyes, bronzed cheeks, a heavy jaw44, and a closely trimmed brown moustache. He was fashionably garbed45, though not in evening dress, and he greeted her without raising his hat.
"Shall we have a drink?" she suggested. "I'm so thirsty."
"Fizz?" the man drawled. She nodded.
Soon they went out together, the man carelessly stuffing change for a five-pound note into his pocket.
"What's the difference between him and me?" Richard reflected as he walked home. "But just wait a bit; wait till I've...."
When he reached his lodging46 the meanness of the room, of his clothes, of his supper, nauseated47 him. He dreamed that he was kissing the Ottoman girl, and that she lisped, "Nice boy," whereupon he cast a handful of sovereigns on her lap.
At six o'clock the next morning he was working at his article. In two days it was finished, and he had despatched it to a monthly magazine, "together with a stamped directed envelope for its return if unsuitable," in accordance with the editorial instructions printed below the table of contents in every number. The editor of the "Trifler" promised that all manuscripts so submitted, and written on one side of the paper only, should be dealt with promptly48.
He had been expecting to discuss his work with Mr. Aked at the proposed dinner, but this had not taken place. On the morning after the arrangement had been made, Mr. Aked fell ill, and in a few days he wrote to resign his post, saying that he had sufficient to live on, and felt "too venerable for regular work."
Richard held but the frailest49 hope that "A City of Sleep" would be accepted, but when the third morning arrived, and the postman brought nothing, his opinion of the article began to rise. Perhaps it had merit, after all; he recalled certain parts of it which were distinctly clever and striking. Hurrying home from the office that afternoon, he met the landlady's daughter on the stairs, and said casually,—
"Any letters for me, Lily?"
"No, sir." The girl had an attractive blush.
"I'll take a couple of eggs for tea, if Mrs. Rowbotham has them."
He remained at home in the evening, waiting for the last delivery, which occurred about 9:30. The double knocks of the postman were audible ten or twelve houses away. At last Richard heard him mounting the steps of No. 74, and then his curt3 rat-tat shook the house. A little thud on the bare wooden floor of the hall seemed to indicate a heavier package than the ordinary letter.
As, when a man is drowning, the bad actions of a whole lifetime present themselves to him in one awful flash, so at that moment all the faults, the hopeless crudities, of "A City of Sleep" confronted Richard. He wondered at his own fatuity50 in imagining for a single instant that the article had the barest chance of acceptance. Was it not notorious that famous authors had written industriously51 for years without selling a line!
Lily came in with the supper-tray. She was smiling.
"Warm work, eh, Lily?" he said, scarcely knowing that he spoke52.
"Yes, sir, it's that hot in the kitchen you wouldn't believe." Setting down the tray, she handed him a foolscap envelope, and he saw his own handwriting as if in a dream.
"For me?" he murmured carelessly, and placed the letter on the mantelpiece. Lily took his orders for breakfast, and with a pleasant, timid "Good-night, sir," left the room.
He opened the envelope. In the fold of his manuscript was a sheet of the best cream-laid note-paper bearing these words in flowing copperplate: "The Editor presents his compliments to Mr. Larch53 [written] and regrets to be unable to use the enclosed article, for the offer of which he is much obliged."
The sight of this circular, with the offices of the magazine illustrated54 at the top, and the notification in the left-hand corner that all letters must be addressed to the editor and not to any member of the staff individually, in some mysterious way mitigated55 Richard's disappointment. Perhaps the comfort of it lay in the tangible56 assurance it afforded that he was now actually a literary aspirant57 and had communications, however mortifying58, with the press.
He read the circular again and again during supper, and determined59 to re-write the article. But this resolve was not carried out. He could not bring himself even to glance through it, and finally it was sent to another magazine exactly as it stood.
Richard had determined to say nothing in the office about his writing until he could produce a printed article with his name at the foot; and frequently during the last few days his mouth had watered as he anticipated the sweetness of that triumph. But next day he could not refrain from showing to Jenkins the note from the "Trifler." Jenkins seemed impressed, especially when Richard requested him to treat the matter as confidential60. A sort of friendship arose between them, and strengthened as time went on. Richard sometimes wondered how precisely61 it had come about, and why it continued.
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