“Max, quick!” said Ruggles faintly, pointing to the black bottle at the rear of the bar. The landlord hastily poured out some of the fiery5 stuff, and the miserable6 fellow swallowed it at a gulp7. It served partly to revive him, but he was really on the verge8 of collapse9.
The only one of the company not impressed was Maurice Dawson, father of the little girl. He was sitting well back of the rest, where no one paid attention to him. Comprehending the meaning of this incident, he drew his hand across his mouth to conceal10 the smile that could not be wholly restrained. Then he hurried back into the room to see that his child was “tucked up” and properly covered for the night. Finding himself in the dark, where he could not be observed, he 50 laughed deeply and silently, his mirth all the greater because of the oppressive gravity of every one else. Then bending over, he said, as he kissed the little one:
“I thought you were asleep, Nellie?”
“So I was, but Mr. Ruggles spoke11 those bad words so loud he woked me.”
“You mustn’t get up again, will you?”
“Not if you don’t want me to.”
“I have just told you I don’t wish you to.”
“Then I wont12 get up.”
The father lingered in the room, until he mastered his disposition13 to laugh, and then, when he walked out among his friends no countenance14 was graver than his.
“I say, Dawson,” said Ruggles, swallowing a lump in his throat, “will you oblige me by acting15 as chairman?––I don’t feel––very––well.”
The gentleman walked forward to where Ruggles had been standing16 with his back against the bar, looking down in the faces of his friends. The poor fellow seemed to have aged18 ten years, as he slouched off to an upturned box near the door, where he dejectedly seated himself.
“What is your pleasure, gentlemen?” asked Dawson, as if presiding over the deliberations of one of the most august assemblages in the land; “I am ready to hear any suggestion or motion.”
51
Al Bidwell rose to his feet.
“Mr. Chairman, I wish to endorse19 with all my heart, the soul-stirring, eloquent20 address to which we have just listened from the late Mr. Ruggles,––I mean the late Chairman. Them sentiments of his is as sound as a gold dollar. He maintains that any gent that uses an unproper word, such as he used and which I scorn to repeat, in the presence of the young lady, who has just listened to his remarks, oughter to be sent to the individooal whose name is too shocking fur me to pronounce, since the aforesaid young lady is in the adjoining apartment, from whence she was awoke by the awful profanity of the gent who lately served as our chairman.”
And having gotten back on Ruggles in this masterly manner, Bidwell sat down, slung21 one leg over the other, and relit his pipe. The oppressive silence was broken by a prodigious22 sigh from Ruggles.
Parson Brush, after the stillness had continued some minutes, rose to his feet.
“Mr. Chairman, an extraordinary state of affairs has arisen. You have not forgotten that I plead for charity for Mr. Bidwell, because it was his first offence. My plea was not well received, but my sentiments are unchanged, and I now make the same plea for Mr. Ruggles and on the same grounds. When he was denouncing in fitting terms the sin of Bidwell, 52 he had no thought of committing the crime himself, but in his earnestness he did. This being plain to all of us, I renew–––”
Wade Ruggles bounded to his feet.
“I don’t want any one to plead for me! I ain’t pleading fur myself! I can take my medicine like a man; if there’s any galoot here–––”
He suddenly checked himself with an apprehensive24 glance at the door of the rear room, and then resumed in a more subdued25 voice:
“I insist that Al Bidwell shall suffer for his onspeakable crime and me too, ’cause mine was onspeakabler. Jedgin’ from the evidence that showed itself, I must have awoke the little gal23 from peaceful slumber26, by them awful words of mine.”
He paused and looked inquiringly at the chairman, who calmly returned his gaze, without speaking. It was Parson Brush who interposed:
“I should like to ask, Mr. Dawson, whether the supposition of Mr. Ruggles has any foundation in fact.”
“It has; when I asked Nellie what caused her to awake, she said it was Mr. Ruggles when he used those bad words.”
“Just what I thought!” exclaimed Ruggles, as if he enjoyed heaping fire upon his own head; “there ain’t any depth of infamy27 which I hain’t reached. For me to try to sneak28 out now, when I made such 53 a–––(Here he again threw a startled glance at the rear of the room) would be to do something which Wade Ruggles never done in his variegated29 career of nigh onto forty years. All I ask is that you’ll git through it as soon as you kin17 and fix our terms of imprisonment30 or our deaths and hev done with it.”
Al Bidwell took an unworthy delight in prodding31 the man who had been so severe upon him.
“I beg humbly32 to suggest to the gent that there are plenty of places in the mountains where he can make a jump of a thousand feet or two into the kenyons. Wouldn’t it be a good idee fur the gent to try it?”
“I will if you’ll join me,” retorted Wade, turning upon him like a flash.
“I’ll let you try it first and see how it works,” replied Bidwell, so crushed that he remained silent henceforward.
“Since I am chairman,” said Dawson, with becoming dignity, “it is my duty to listen to suggestions and to hear motions. What is your pleasure, gentlemen?”
No one in looking at the countenance of Maurice Dawson would have suspected he was extracting the keenest enjoyment33 from these proceedings34, yet such was the fact. There was something so intensely ludicrous in the whole business, that only by assuming preternatural gravity could he refrain from breaking into merriment. His policy was to egg on the discussion 54 until the company were ready for a decision, when he would interpose with the proposal to wipe out the whole matter and begin over again. The earnestness of Wade Ruggles, however, threatened to check anything of that nature. He was on his feet several times until Budge35 Isham, who shrewdly suspected the sentiments of the chairman, protested.
“With all due respect to the parson, to Ruggles and to Bidwell, it strikes me, Mr. Chairman, that they should give the rest of us a show. We have listened to their yawping until it has grown monotonous36. Having told us a dozen times, more or less, that he wants us to punish him all he deserves, Mr. Ruggles ought to let it rest with that; but he shouldn’t forget,” added Budge, with the solemn manner which always marked his waggery, “that, if we took him at his word, he would be kicking vacancy37 this minute. However, this hasn’t anything to do with his general cussedness, but concerns his offence against the young lady. That is all there is before the house, and I insist that we confine ourselves to that–––”
“Isn’t that what I’ve been insistin’ on?” demanded Wade Ruggles.
“There you go again! I have the floor, and you have no parliamentary right to interrupt me with your frivolous38 remarks. Am I correct, Mr. Chairman?”
“You are most unquestionably; proceed.”
55
“Well, to bring this tiresome39 matter to a close, I move that Mr. Bidwell be deprived of the bar privileges of the Heavenly Bower40 for a period of four days, and that the same be denied to Mr. Ruggles for a period of one week. Did I hear a groan41?” asked Budge, looking round at the two men, who were trying bravely to bear up under the threatened punishment.
Both shook their heads, afraid to trust their voices by way of reply.
“If the gentlemen will permit me,” said the chairman, “I should like to say a few words.”
“I am sure we shall be glad to hear from Mr. Dawson,” remarked the parson.
“Thank you. What I had in mind is this:––It is creditable to your honor that you should pledge yourselves to refrain from unbecoming language in the hearing of my little girl, for you cannot help being her instructors42, no matter how much you may wish it were otherwise. But you are magnifying the matter. I am sure every man of you will strive just as hard, without being incited43 thereto by the fear of punishment. I would beg to suggest–––”
He paused, for, looking at Wade Ruggles, he saw it was useless to go further. Bidwell would have been glad to receive leniency44, but his partner in crime was immovable, and it would not do to punish one and allow 56 the other to go free. Dawson was wise enough to accept the situation promptly45.
“You have heard the penalties suggested for the offences of the two gentlemen accused. All who favor such punishment will show it by raising their right hands.”
Every man in the room, except the chairman, voted in the affirmative.
“It isn’t worth while to put the negative. The accused have heard the verdict, which is that Mr. Bidwell shall not drink a drop of anything except water or coffee for a period of four days, dating from this moment, while Mr. Ruggles is to undergo the same penalty for a period of one week.”
“That’s right,” growled46 Bidwell; “for he drank about half of what was in the bottle only a few minutes ago.”
“And you would have drunk it all,” retorted Ruggles, “if you’d knowed what was coming.”
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