Most persons have encountered, in certain provinces in France, a number of Chevaliers de Valois. One lived in Normandy, another at Bourges, a third (with whom we have here to do) flourished in Alencon, and doubtless the South possesses others. The number of the Valesian tribe is, however, of no consequence to the present tale. All these chevaliers, among whom were doubtless some who were Valois as Louis XIV. was Bourbon, knew so little of one another that it was not advisable to speak to one about the others. They were all willing to leave the Bourbons in tranquil² possession of the throne of France; for it was too plainly established that Henri IV. became king for want of a male heir in the first Orleans branch called the Valois. If there are any Valois, they descend³ from Charles de Valois, Duc d’Angouleme, son of Charles IX. and Marie Touchet, the male line from whom ended, until proof to the contrary be produced, in the person of the Abbe de Rothelin. The Valois-Saint-Remy, who descended⁴ from Henri II., also came to an end in the famous Lamothe-Valois implicated⁵ in the affair of the Diamond Necklace.  
Each of these many chevaliers, if we may believe reports, was, like the Chevalier of Alencon, an old gentleman, tall, thin, withered⁶, and moneyless. He of Bourges had emigrated; he of Touraine hid himself; he of Alencon fought in La Vendee and “chouanized” somewhat. The youth of the latter was spend in Paris, where the Revolution overtook him when thirty years of age in the midst of his conquests and gallantries.
 
The Chevalier de Valois of Alencon was accepted by the highest aristocracy of the province as a genuine Valois; and he distinguished⁷ himself, like the rest of his homonyms, by excellent manners, which proved him a man of society. He dined out every day, and played cards every evening. He was thought witty⁸, thanks to his foible for relating a quantity of anecdotes⁹ on the reign¹⁰ of Louis XV. and the beginnings of the Revolution. When these tales were heard for the first time, they were held to be well narrated¹¹. He had, moreover, the great merit of not repeating his personal bons mots and of never speaking of his love-affairs, though his smiles and his airs and graces were delightfully¹³ indiscreet. The worthy¹⁴ gentleman used his privilege as a Voltairean noble to stay away from mass; and great indulgence was shown to his irreligion because of his devotion to the royal cause. One of his particular graces was the air and manner (imitated, no doubt, from Mole¹⁵) with which he took snuff from a gold box adorned¹⁶ with the portrait of the Princess Goritza,—a charming Hungarian, celebrated¹⁷ for her beauty in the last years of the reign of Louis XV. Having been attached during his youth to that illustrious stranger, he still mentioned her with emotion. For her sake he had fought a duel¹⁸ with Monsieur de Lauzun.
 
The chevalier, now fifty-eight years of age, owned to only fifty; and he might well allow himself that innocent deception¹⁹, for, among the other advantages granted to fair thin persons, he managed to preserve the still youthful figure which saves men as well as women from an appearance of old age. Yes, remember this: all of life, or rather all the elegance²⁰ that expresses life, is in the figure. Among the chevalier’s other possessions must be counted an enormous nose with which nature had endowed him. This nose vigorously divided a pale face into two sections which seemed to have no knowledge of each other, for one side would redden under the process of digestion²¹, while the other continued white. This fact is worthy of remark at a period when physiology²² is so busy with the human heart. The incandescence²³, so to call it, was on the left side. Though his long slim legs, supporting a lank²⁴ body, and his pallid²⁵ skin, were not indicative of health, Monsieur de Valois ate like an ogre and declared he had a malady²⁶ called in the provinces “hot liver,” perhaps to excuse his monstrous²⁷ appetite. The circumstance of his singular flush confirmed this declaration; but in a region where repasts are developed on the line of thirty or forty dishes and last four hours, the chevalier’s stomach would seem to have been a blessing²⁸ bestowed²⁹ by Providence³⁰ on the good town of Alencon. According to certain doctors, heat on the left side denotes a prodigal³¹ heart. The chevalier’s gallantries confirmed this scientific assertion, the responsibility for which does not rest, fortunately, on the historian.
 
In spite of these symptoms, Monsieur de Valois’ constitution was vigorous, consequently long-lived. If his liver “heated,” to use an old-fashioned word, his heart was not less inflammable. His face was wrinkled and his hair silvered; but an intelligent observer would have recognized at once the stigmata of passion and the furrows³² of pleasure which appeared in the crow’s-feet and the marches-du-palais, so prized at the court of Cythera. Everything about this dainty chevalier bespoke³³ the “ladies’ man.” He was so minute in his ablutions that his cheeks were a pleasure to look upon; they seemed to have been laved in some miraculous³⁴ water. The part of his skull³⁵ which his hair refused to cover shone like ivory. His eyebrows³⁶, like his hair, affected³⁷ youth by the care and regularity³⁸ with which they were combed. His skin, already white, seemed to have been extra-whitened by some secret compound. Without using perfumes, the chevalier exhaled³⁹ a certain fragrance⁴⁰ of youth, that refreshed the atmosphere. His hands, which were those of a gentleman, and were cared for like the hands of a pretty woman, attracted the eye to their rosy⁴¹, well-shaped nails. In short, had it not been for his magisterial⁴² and stupendous nose, the chevalier might have been thought a trifle too dainty.
 
We must here compel ourselves to spoil this portrait by the avowal⁴³ of a littleness. The chevalier put cotton in his ears, and wore, appended to them, two little ear-rings representing negroes’ heads in diamonds, of admirable workmanship. He clung to these singular appendages⁴⁴, explaining that since his ears had been bored he had ceased to have headaches (he had had headaches). We do not present the chevalier as an accomplished⁴⁵ man; but surely we can pardon, in an old celibate⁴⁶ whose heart sends so much blood to his left cheek, these adorable qualities, founded, perhaps, on some sublime⁴⁷ secret history.
 
Besides, the Chevalier de Valois redeemed⁴⁸ those negroes’ heads by so many other graces that society felt itself sufficiently⁴⁹ compensated⁵⁰. He really took such immense trouble to conceal⁵¹ his age and give pleasure to his friends. In the first place, we must call attention to the extreme care he gave to his linen⁵², the only distinction that well-bred men can nowadays exhibit in their clothes. The linen of the chevalier was invariably of a fineness and whiteness that were truly aristocratic. As for his coat, though remarkable⁵³ for its cleanliness, it was always half worn-out, but without spots or creases⁵⁴. The preservation⁵⁵ of that garment was something marvellous to those who noticed the chevalier’s high-bred indifference⁵⁶ to its shabbiness. He did not go so far as to scrape the seams with glass,—a refinement⁵⁷ invented by the Prince of Wales; but he did practice the rudiments⁵⁸ of English elegance with a personal satisfaction little understood by the people of Alencon. The world owes a great deal to persons who take such pains to please it. In this there is certainly some accomplishment⁵⁹ of that most difficult precept⁶⁰ of the Gospel about rendering⁶¹ good for evil. This freshness of ablution and all the other little cares harmonized charmingly with the blue eyes, the ivory teeth, and the blond person of the old chevalier.
 
The only blemish⁶² was that this retired⁶³ Adonis had nothing manly⁶⁴ about him; he seemed to be employing this toilet varnish⁶⁵ to hide the ruins occasioned by the military service of gallantry only. But we must hasten to add that his voice produced what might be called an antithesis⁶⁶ to his blond delicacy⁶⁷. Unless you adopted the opinion of certain observers of the human heart, and thought that the chevalier had the voice of his nose, his organ of speech would have amazed you by its full and redundant⁶⁸ sound. Without possessing the volume of classical bass⁶⁹ voices, the tone of it was pleasing from a slightly muffled⁷⁰ quality like that of an English bugle⁷¹, which is firm and sweet, strong but velvety⁷².
 
The chevalier had repudiated⁷³ the ridiculous costume still preserved by certain monarchical⁷⁴ old men; he had frankly⁷⁵ modernized⁷⁶ himself. He was always seen in a maroon-colored coat with gilt⁷⁷ buttons, half-tight breeches of poult-de-soie with gold buckles⁷⁸, a white waistcoat without embroidery⁷⁹, and a tight cravat⁸⁰ showing no shirt-collar,—a last vestige⁸¹ of the old French costume which he did not renounce⁸², perhaps, because it enabled him to show a neck like that of the sleekest⁸³ abbe. His shoes were noticeable for their square buckles, a style of which the present generation has no knowledge; these buckles were fastened to a square of polished black leather. The chevalier allowed two watch-chains to hang parallel to each other from each of his waistcoat pockets,—another vestige of the eighteenth century, which the Incroyables had not disdained⁸⁴ to use under the Directory. This transition costume, uniting as it did two centuries, was worn by the chevalier with the high-bred grace of an old French marquis, the secret of which is lost to France since the day when Fleury, Mole’s last pupil, vanished.
 
The private life of this old bachelor was apparently

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