HIS march to greatness was not without disastrous¹ stumbling. Fame did not bring the social advancement² which the Babbitts deserved. They were not asked to join the Tonawanda Country Club nor invited to the dances at the union. Himself, Babbitt fretted⁴, he didn't “care a fat hoot⁵ for all these highrollers, but the wife would kind of like to be Among Those Present.” He nervously⁶ awaited his university class-dinner and an evening of furious intimacy⁷ with such social leaders as Charles McKelvey the millionaire contractor⁸, Max Kruger the banker, Irving Tate the tool-manufacturer, and Adelbert Dobson the fashionable interior decorator. Theoretically he was their friend, as he had been in college, and when he encountered them they still called him “Georgie,” but he didn't seem to encounter them often, and they never invited him to dinner (with champagne⁹ and a butler) at their houses on Royal Ridge¹⁰.
 
All the week before the class-dinner he thought of them. “No reason why we shouldn't become real chummy now!”
 
II
 
Like all true American diversions and spiritual outpourings, the dinner of the men of the Class of 1896 was thoroughly¹¹ organized. The dinner-committee hammered like a sales-corporation. Once a week they sent out reminders¹²:
 
TICKLER NO. 3
 
Old man, are you going to be with us at the livest Friendship Feed the alumni of the good old U have ever known? The alumnae¹³ of '08 turned out 60% strong. Are we boys going to be beaten by a bunch of skirts? Come on, fellows, let's work up some real genuine enthusiasm and all boost together for the snappiest dinner yet! Elegant eats, short ginger-talks, and memories shared together of the brightest, gladdest days of life.
 
The dinner was held in a private room at the union Club. The club was a dingy¹⁴ building, three pretentious¹⁵ old dwellings¹⁶ knocked together, and the entrance-hall resembled a potato cellar, yet the Babbitt who was free of the magnificence of the Athletic¹⁸ Club entered with embarrassment¹⁹. He nodded to the doorman, an ancient proud negro with brass²⁰ buttons and a blue tail-coat, and paraded through the hall, trying to look like a member.
 
Sixty men had come to the dinner. They made islands and eddies²¹ in the hall; they packed the elevator and the corners of the private dining-room. They tried to be intimate and enthusiastic. They appeared to one another exactly as they had in college—as raw youngsters whose present mustaches, baldnesses, paunches, and wrinkles were but jovial²² disguises put on for the evening. “You haven't changed a particle!” they marveled. The men whom they could not recall they addressed, “Well, well, great to see you again, old man. What are you—Still doing the same thing?”
 
Some one was always starting a cheer or a college song, and it was always thinning into silence. Despite their resolution to be democratic they divided into two sets: the men with dress-clothes and the men without. Babbitt (extremely in dress-clothes) went from one group to the other. Though he was, almost frankly²³, out for social conquest, he sought Paul Riesling first. He found him alone, neat and silent.
 
Paul sighed, “I'm no good at this handshaking and 'well, look who's here' bunk²⁴.”
 
“Rats now, Paulibus, loosen up and be a mixer! Finest bunch of boys on earth! Say, you seem kind of glum²⁵. What's matter?”
 
“Oh, the usual. Run-in with Zilla.”
 
“Come on! Let's wade²⁶ in and forget our troubles.”
 
He kept Paul beside him, but worked toward the spot where Charles McKelvey stood warming his admirers like a furnace.
 
McKelvey had been the hero of the Class of '96; not only football captain and hammer-thrower but debater, and passable in what the State University considered scholarship. He had gone on, had captured the construction-company once owned by the Dodsworths, best-known pioneer family of Zenith. He built state capitols, skyscrapers²⁸, railway terminals. He was a heavy-shouldered, big-chested man, but not sluggish²⁹. There was a quiet humor in his eyes, a syrup-smooth quickness in his speech, which intimidated³⁰ politicians and warned reporters; and in his presence the most intelligent scientist or the most sensitive artist felt thin-blooded, unworldly, and a little shabby. He was, particularly when he was influencing legislatures or hiring labor-spies, very easy and lovable and gorgeous. He was baronial; he was a peer in the rapidly crystallizing American aristocracy, inferior only to the haughty³¹ Old Families. (In Zenith, an Old Family is one which came to town before 1840.) His power was the greater because he was not hindered by scruples³², by either the vice³³ or the virtue³⁴ of the older Puritan tradition.
 
McKelvey was being placidly³⁵ merry now with the great, the manufacturers and bankers, the land-owners and lawyers and surgeons who had chauffeurs³⁶ and went to Europe. Babbitt squeezed among them. He liked McKelvey's smile as much as the social advancement to be had from his favor. If in Paul's company he felt ponderous³⁸ and protective, with McKelvey he felt slight and adoring.
 
He heard McKelvey say to Max Kruger, the banker, “Yes, we'll put up Sir Gerald Doak.” Babbitt's democratic love for titles became a rich relish³⁹. “You know, he's one of the biggest iron-men in England, Max. Horribly well-off.... Why, hello, old Georgie! Say, Max, George Babbitt is getting fatter than I am!”
 
The chairman shouted, “Take your seats, fellows!”
 
“Shall we make a move, Charley?” Babbitt said casually⁴⁰ to McKelvey.
 
“Right. Hello, Paul! How's the old fiddler? Planning to sit anywhere special, George? Come on, let's grab some seats. Come on, Max. Georgie, I read about your speeches in the campaign. Bully⁴¹ work!”
 
After that, Babbitt would have followed him through fire. He was enormously busy during the dinner, now bumblingly cheering Paul, now approaching McKelvey with “Hear, you're going to build some piers⁴² in Brooklyn,” now noting how enviously⁴³ the failures of the class, sitting by themselves in a weedy group, looked up to him in his association with the nobility, now warming himself in the Society Talk of McKelvey and Max Kruger. They spoke⁴⁴ of a “jungle dance” for which Mona Dodsworth had decorated her house with thousands of orchids⁴⁵. They spoke, with an excellent imitation of casualness, of a dinner in Washington at which McKelvey had met a Senator, a Balkan princess, and an English major-general. McKelvey called the princess “Jenny,” and let it be known that he had danced with her.
 
Babbitt was thrilled, but not so weighted with awe⁴⁶ as to be silent. If he was not invited by them to dinner, he was yet accustomed to talking with bank-presidents, congressmen, and clubwomen who entertained poets. He was bright and referential with McKelvey:
 
“Say, Charley, juh remember in Junior year how we chartered a sea-going hack⁴⁷ and chased down to Riverdale, to the big show Madame Brown used to put on? Remember how you beat up that hick constabule that tried to run us in, and we pinched the pants-pressing sign and took and hung it on Prof. Morrison's door? Oh, gosh, those were the days!”
 
Those, McKelvey agreed, were the days.
 
Babbitt had reached “It isn't the books you study in college but the friendships you make that counts” when the men at head of the table broke into song. He attacked McKelvey:
 
“It's a shame, uh, shame to drift apart because our, uh, business activities lie in different fields. I've enjoyed talking over the good old days. You and Mrs. McKelvey must come to dinner some night.”
 
Vaguely⁴⁸, “Yes, indeed—”
 
“Like to talk to you about the growth of real estate out beyond your Grantsville warehouse⁴⁹. I might be able to tip you off to a thing or two, possibly.”
 
“Splendid! We must have dinner together, Georgie. Just let me know. And it will be a great pleasure to have your wife and you at the house,” said McKelvey, much less vaguely.
 
Then the chairman's voice, that prodigious⁵⁰ voice which once had roused them to cheer defiance⁵¹ at rooters from Ohio or Michigan or Indiana, whooped⁵², “Come on, you wombats⁵³! All together in the long yell!” Babbitt felt that life would never be sweeter than now, when he joined with Paul Riesling and the newly recovered hero, McKelvey, in:
 
Baaaaaattle-ax Get an ax, Bal-ax, Get-nax, Who, who? The U.! Hooroo!
 
III
 
The Babbitts invited the McKelveys to dinner, in early December, and the McKelveys not only accepted but, after changing the date once or twice, actually came.
 
The Babbitts somewhat thoroughly discussed the details of the dinner, from the purchase of a bottle of champagne to the number of salted almonds to be placed before each person. Especially did they mention the matter of the other guests. To the last Babbitt held out for giving Paul Riesling the benefit of being with the McKelveys. “Good old Charley would like Paul and Verg Gunch better than some highfalutin' Willy boy,” he insisted, but Mrs. Babbitt interrupted his observations with, “Yes—perhaps—I think I'll try to get some Lynnhaven oysters,” and when she was quite ready she invited Dr. J. T. Angus, the oculist⁵⁴, and a dismally⁵⁵ respectable lawyer named Maxwell, with their glittering wives.
 
Neither Angus nor Maxwell belonged to the Elks⁵⁶ or to the Athletic Club; neither of them had ever called Babbitt “brother” or asked his opinions on carburetors. The only “human people” whom she invited, Babbitt raged, were the Littlefields; and Howard Littlefield at times became so statistical⁵⁷ that Babbitt longed for the refreshment⁵⁸ of Gunch's, “Well, old lemon-pie-face, what's the good word?”
 
Immediately after lunch Mrs. Babbitt began to set the table for the seven-thirty dinner to the McKelveys, and Babbitt was, by order, home at four. But they didn't find anything for him to do, and three times Mrs. Babbitt scolded, “Do please try to keep out of the way!” He stood in the door of the garage, his lips drooping⁵⁹, and wished that Littlefield or Sam Doppelbrau or somebody would come along and talk to him. He saw Ted³ sneaking⁶⁰ about the corner of the house.
 
“What's the matter, old man?” said Babbitt.
 
“Is that you, thin, owld one? Gee⁶¹, Ma certainly is on the warpath! I told her Rone and I would jus' soon not be let in on the fiesta to-night, and she bit me. She says I got to take a bath, too. But, say, the Babbitt men will be some lookers to-night! Little Theodore in a dress-suit!”
 
“The Babbitt men!” Babbitt liked the sound of it. He put his arm about the boy's shoulder. He wished that Paul Riesling had a daughter, so that Ted might marry her. “Yes, your mother is kind of rouncing round, all right,” he said, and they laughed together, and sighed together, and dutifully went in to dress.
 
The McKelveys were less than fifteen minutes late.
 
Babbitt hoped that the Doppelbraus would see the McKelveys' limousine⁶², and their uniformed c............