“Surely a simple matter to keep enough coffee in the house! A schoolgirl could do it! And yet they let themselves run short of coffee! I ask for nothing out of the way. I make no inordinate1 demands on the household. But I do like good coffee. And I can’t have it! Strange! As for that mutton—one would think there was no clock in the kitchen. One would think that nobody had ever cooked a leg of mutton before. How many legs of mutton have they cooked between them in their lives? Scores; hundreds; I dare say thousands. And yet it hasn’t yet dawned on them that a leg of mutton of a certain weight requires a certain time for cooking, and that if it is put down late one of two things must occur—either it will be undercooked or the dinner will be late! Simple enough! Logical enough! Four women in the house (three servants and the wicked, negligent2 Mrs. Omicron), and yet they must needs waste a leg of mutton through nothing but gross carelessness! It isn’t as if it hadn’t happened before! It isn’t as if I hadn’t pointed3 it out! But women are amateurs. All women are alike. All housekeeping is amateurish4. She (Mrs. Omicron, the criminal) has nothing in this world to do but run the house—and see how she runs it! No order! No method! Has she ever studied housekeeping scientifically? Not she! Does she care? Not she! If she had any real sense of responsibility, if she had the slightest glimmering5 of her own short-comings, she wouldn’t have started on the ring question. But there you are! She only thinks of spending, and titivating herself. I wish she had to do a little earning. She’d find out a thing or two then. She’d find out that life isn’t all moonstones and motor-cars. Ring, indeed! It’s the lack of tact6 that annoys me. I am an ill-used man. All husbands are ill-used men. The whole system wants altering. However, I must keep my end up. And I will keep my end up. Ring, indeed! No tact!”
He fostered a secret fury. And he enjoyed fostering it. There was exaggeration in these thoughts, which, he would admit next day, were possibly too sweeping7 in their scope. But he would maintain the essential truth of them. He was not really and effectively furious against Mrs. Omicron; he did not, as a fact, class her with forgers and drunken chauffeurs8; indeed, the fellow loved her in his fashion. But he did pass a mature judgment9 against her. He did wrap up his grudge10 in cotton-wool and put it in a drawer and examine it with perverse11 pleasure now and then. He did increase that secretion12 of poison which weakens the social health of nine hundred and ninety-nine in a thousand married lives—however delightful13 they may be. He did render more permanent a noxious
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