What a go is life!

　　Let us examine the case of Jackson, of Dexter's. O'Hara, who had leftDexter's at the end of the summer term, had once complained to Clowesof the manner in which his house-master treated him, and Clowes hadremarked in his melancholy way that it was nothing less than a breachof the law that Dexter should persist in leading a fellow a dog's lifewithout a dog licence for him.

　　That was precisely how Jackson felt on the subject.

　　Things became definitely unbearable on the day after Sheen's interviewwith Mr Joe Bevan.

　　'Twas morn--to begin at the beginning--and Jackson sprang from hislittle cot to embark on the labours of the day. Unfortunately, hesprang ten minutes too late, and came down to breakfast about the timeof the second slice of bread and marmalade. Result, a hundred lines.

　　Proceeding to school, he had again fallen foul of his house-master--inwhose form he was--over a matter of unprepared Livy. As a matter offact, Jackson _had_ prepared the Livy. Or, rather, he had notabsolutely _prepared_ it; but he had meant to. But it was MrTemplar's preparation, and Mr Templar was short-sighted. Any one willunderstand, therefore, that it would have been simply chucking away thegifts of Providence if he had not gone on with the novel which he hadbeen reading up till the last moment before prep-time, and had broughtalong with him accidentally, as it were. It was a book called _ASpoiler of Men_, by Richard Marsh, and there was a repulsive crime onnearly every page. It was Hot Stuff. Much better than Livy....

　　Lunch Score--Two hundred lines.

　　During lunch he had the misfortune to upset a glass of water. Pureaccident, of course, but there it was, don't you know, all over thetable.

　　Mr Dexter had called him--(a) clumsy;(b) a pig;and had given him(1) Advice--"You had better be careful, Jackson".

　　(2) A present--"Two hundred lines, Jackson".

　　On the match being resumed at two o'clock, with four hundred lines onthe score-sheet, he had played a fine, free game during afternoonschool, and Mr Dexter, who objected to fine, free games--or, indeed,any games--during school hours, had increased the total to six hundred,when stumps were drawn for the day.

　　So on a bright sunny Saturday afternoon, when he should have been outin the field cheering the house-team on to victory against the SchoolHouse, Jackson sat in the junior day-room at Dexter's copying outportions of Virgil, Aeneid Two.

　　To him, later on in the afternoon, when he had finished half his task,entered Painter, with the news that Dexter's had taken thirty pointsoff the School House just after half-time.

　　"Mopped them up," said the terse and epigrammatic Painter. "Made ringsround them. Haven't you finished yet? Well, chuck it, and come out.""What's on?" asked Jackson.

　　"We're going to have a boat race.""Pile it on.""We are, really. Fact. Some of these School House kids are awfully sickabout the match, and challenged us. That chap Tomlin thinks he can row.

　　"He can't row for nuts," said Jackson. "He doesn't know which end ofthe oar to shove into the water. I've seen cats that could row betterthan Tomlin.""That's what I told him. At least, I said he couldn't row for toffee,so he said all right, I bet I can lick you, and I said I betted hecouldn't, and he said all right, then, let's try, and then the otherchaps wanted to join in, so we made an inter-house thing of it. And Iwant you to come and stroke us."Jackson hesitated. Mr Dexter, setting the lines on Friday, hadcertainly said that they were to be shown up "tomorrow evening." He hadsaid it very loud and clear. Still, in a case like this....After all,by helping to beat the School House on the river he would be givingDexter's a leg-up. And what more could the man want?

　　"Right ho," said Jackson.

　　Down at the School boat-house the enemy were already afloat whenPainter and Jackson arrived.

　　"Buck up," cried the School House crew.

　　Dexter's embarked, five strong. There was room for two on each seat.

　　Jackson shared the post of stroke with Painter. Crowle steered.

　　"Ready?" asked Tomlin from the other boat.

　　"Half a sec.," said Jackson. "What's the course?""Oh, don't you know _that_ yet? Up to the town, round the islandjust below the bridge,--the island with the croquet ground on it,_you_ know--and back again here. Ready?""In a jiffy. Look here, Crowle, remember about steering. You pull theright line if you want to go to the right and the other if you want togo to the left.""All right," said the injured Crowle. "As if I didn't know that.""Thought I'd mention it. It's your fault. Nobody could tell by lookingat you that you knew anything except how to eat. Ready, you chaps?""When I say 'Three,'" said Tomlin.

　　It was a subject of heated discussion between the crews for weeksafterwards whether Dexter's boat did or did not go off at the word"Two." Opinions were divided on the topic. But it was certain thatJackson and his men led from the start. Pulling a good, splashingstroke which had drenched Crowle to the skin in the first thirty yards,Dexter's boat crept slowly ahead. By the time the island was reached,it led by a length. Encouraged by success, the leaders redoubled theiralready energetic efforts. Crowle sat in a shower-bath. He was evenmoved to speech about it.

　　"When you've finished," said Crowle.

　　Jackson, intent upon repartee, caught a crab, and the School House drewlevel again. The two boats passed the island abreast.

　　Just here occ............