A yell of welcome drowned the tumult of the looters.

　　"Is that you, Garny, old horse? What's up? What's the matter? Haseveryone gone mad? Who are those infernal scoundrels in the fowl-run?

　　What are they doing? What's been happening?""I have been entertaining a little meeting of your creditors," I said.

　　"And now they are entertaining themselves.""But what did you let them do it for?""What is one amongst so many?""Well, 'pon my Sam," moaned Ukridge, as, her sardonic calm laid aside,that sinister hen which we called Aunt Elizabeth flashed past uspursued by the whiskered criminal, "it's a little hard! I can't goaway for a day--""You certainly can't! You're right there. You can't go away without aword--""Without a word? What do you mean? Garny, old boy, pull yourselftogether. You're over-excited. Do you mean to tell me you didn't getmy note?""What note?""The one I left on the dining-room table.""There was no note there.""What!"I was reminded of the scene that had taken place on the first day ofour visit.

　　"Feel in your pockets," I said.

　　"Why, damme, here it is!" he said in amazement.

　　"Of course. Where did you expect it would be? Was it important?""Why, it explained the whole thing.""Then," I said, "I wish you would let me read it. A note like thatought to be worth reading.""It was telling you to sit tight and not worry about us going away--""That's good about worrying. You're a thoughtful chap, Ukridge.""--because we should be back immediately.""And what sent you up to town?""Why, we went to touch Millie's Aunt Elizabeth.""Oh!" I said, a light shining on the darkness of my understanding.

　　"You remember Aunt Elizabeth? The old girl who wrote that letter.""I know. She called you a gaby.""And a guffin.""Yes. I remember thinking her a shrewd and discriminating old lady,with a great gift for character delineation. So you went to touchher?""That's it. We had to have more money. So I naturally thought of her.

　　Aunt Elizabeth isn't what you might call an admirer of mine--""Bless her for that.""--but she's very fond of Millie, and would do anything if she'sallowed to chuck about a few home-truths before doing it. So we wentoff together, looked her up at her house, stated our case, andcollected the stuff. Millie and I shared the work. She did the asking,while I inquired after the rheumatism. She mentioned the figure thatwould clear us; I patted the dog. Little beast! Got after me when Iwasn't looking and chewed my ankle!""Thank Heaven!""In the end Millie got the money, and I got the home-truths.""Did she call you a gaby?""Twice. And a guffin three times.""Your Aunt Elizabeth is beginning to fascinate me. She seems just thesort of woman I would like. Well, you got the money?""Rather! And I'll tell you another thing, old horse. I scored heavilyat the end of the visit. She'd got to the quoting-proverbs stage bythat time. 'Ah, my dear,' she said to Millie. 'Marry in haste, repentat leisure.' Millie stood up to her like a little brick. 'I'm afraidthat proverb doesn't apply to me, Aunt Elizabeth,' she said, 'becauseI haven't repented!' What do you think of that, Laddie?""Of course, she /hasn't/ had much leisure lately," I agreed.

　　Ukridge's jaw dropped slightly. But he rallied swiftly.

　　"Idiot! That wasn't what she meant. Millie's an angel!""Of course she is," I said cordially. "She's a precious sight too goodfor you, you old rotter. You bear that fact steadily in mind, andwe'll make something of you yet."At this point Mrs. Ukridge joined us. She had been exploring thehouse, and noting the damage done. Her eyes were open to their fullestextent.

　　"Oh, Mr. Garnet, /couldn't/ you have stopped them?"I felt a worm. Had I done as much as I might have done to stem thetide?

　　"I'm awfully sorry, Mrs. Ukridge," I said humbly. "I really don'tthink I could have done much more. We tried every method. Beale hadseven fights, and I made a speech on the lawn, but it was all no good.

　　Directly they had finished the whisky--"Ukridge's cry was like that of a lost spirit.

　　"They didn't get hold of the whisky!""They did! It seemed to me that it would smooth things down a littleif I served it out. The mob had begun to get a trifle out of hand.""I thought those horrid men were making a lot of noise," said Mrs.

　　Ukridge.

　　Ukridge preserved a gloomy silence. Of all the disasters of thatstricken field, I think the one that came home most poignantly to himwas the loss of the whisky. It seemed to strike him like a blow.

　　"Isn't it about time to collect these men and explain things?" Isuggested. "I don't believe any of them know you've come back.""They will!" said Ukridge grimly, coming out of his trance. "They soonwill! Where's Beale! Beale!"The Hired Retainer came running out at the sound of the well-remembered voice.

　　"Lumme, Mr. Ukridge, sir!" he gasped.

　　It was the first time Beale had ever betrayed any real emotion in mypresence. To him, I suppose, the return of Ukridge was as sensationaland astonishing an event as a re-appearance from the tomb. He was notaccustomed to find those who had shot the moon revisiting theirancient haunts.

　　"Beale, go round the place and tell those scound............