The first thing was that Finn had his former room arranged so that he and Hans could be there when Hans came to see him.
There was nothing said about it. For it was taken as a matter of course that no stranger should set foot in the old room. But Cordt at once thought that his hope in Hans was shattered.
Sometimes Finn was glad when Hans was there.
They could never talk together.
Hans’ thoughts were constantly at work on plans and difficulties, the least of which seemed quite unsurmountable to Finn, and he had not the remotest idea as to what passed in his friend’s brain.[224] He talked to all men alike and his words were all questions or answers or opinions.
So it was Hans who and, wholly taken up with himself as he was, he seldom noticed that Finn fell a-dreaming.
When Finn could get him to set to work on some calculation or other, he himself sat delighted and watched Hans while he struggled with figures and drawings.
He was amused at Hans’ wrinkled forehead, his eager, impatient movements. And he waited expectantly, like one sitting on a race-ground, or wherever else men are engaged in contest, for the shout with which the engineer would fling aside the pencil when the problem was solved.
Then Finn’s face beamed with delight. He was as pleased as if it had been himself that had gained the triumph and he had no notion what sort of triumph it was or what it was worth.
[225]But sometimes, and more and more frequently, Hans was too active, too restless for him.
There were days on which Finn hid when his friend called. Often, Hans’ presence in the room occasioned him real bodily pain. He could feel half unconscious under his powerful glance, his voice, which was so loud and jolly, his words, which all meant something.
Then he sat tortured and wretched, because it was not possible for him to ask the other to go. And it was only seldom that Hans perceived this. When it did happen, there was no end to his awkward ; and then Finn was not content before he had succeeded in persuading him that he was quite wrong.
Then Finn submitted, in the same way in which a hopeless submits to a new cure which prepares new sufferings for him and in which he does not himself[226] believe. And, while he suffered, he thought of his father, who suffered more than he did and whom he could not help.
His best time was when they were out together.
They drove and rode; and then they were never agreed, for Finn wanted to ride slowly and drive fast and Hans wanted just the opposite. They were always eager to accommodate themselves to each other, but this came to pass only when it was Finn’s wish that prevailed.
Finn did not like going out. But, once he had started, he was glad; and then he always wanted to have Hans with him. He was shy in a crowd and his friend’s presence him.
They generally walked in the streets, for Finn felt cold if he went outside the town. Then he took Hans’ arm and kept step with him and was proud of him.[227] He liked to hear his strong voice through the noise of the street, his quick step, the tap of his stick on the pavement.
Then Finn would sometimes begin to talk.
Mostly of his travels. And he could speak of these almost as he thought and as he spoke to his mother. It was as though the life and the noise that half drowned his words made him feel freer and safer.
And, although Hans cared but little for what Finn had seen and talked about, still there was a color and a gleam about his words that captivated him.
But, when it happened that the noise in the street was suddenly stilled, then Finn was silent and frightened. And, if, for a moment, they were separated in the crowd and Hans failed to catch a sentence and asked him to repeat it, or seized upon some phrase and asked for a further[228] explanation and , then Finn was forthwith tired and his mood changed.
He often stopped when a piece of street-life caught his attention. He it out to his friend and made it the subject of his talk. Then Hans would underline his words with some racy observation or other, which amused Finn, but afterwards annoyed him, because it spoilt the picture for him.
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