The Duchess in her boat DUCHESS BREDENBUTTA'S
VISIT TO TURVYLAND
 
 
THE Duchess Bredenbutta was forty-seventh cousin to the Monarch of Mo and great- grandniece to the Queen; so you can readily see she was nearly related to the Princess Pattycake and had blue blood in her veins. She lived in a pretty house on the banks of Rootbeer River, and one of her favorite amusements was to row on the river in her boat, which, although rather small, was light as a cork.
 
One day, as usual, the Duchess went for a row on the river, expecting to return home in about an hour; but after floating a long distance down the stream she fell asleep in the boat and did not awake until she felt a sudden shock.
 
Then, sitting up and looking about her, she found, to her alarm, that the boat had drifted to the end of the Land of Mo, and was in the rapids leading to the Great Hole in the ground where the river disappeared from view. Becoming very much frightened, Bredenbutta looked for the oars of her boat, that she might row to the bank; but soon she discovered that the oars had fallen overboard and were lost, leaving her without any means of saving herself.
 
The poor Duchess now began to cry out; but no one heard her. Gradually the boat came nearer and nearer to the Great Hole, now bumping against the rocks and now spinning around with the current, until at last it paused for an instant on the very brink of the chasm down which the river fell.
 
The girl seized the sides of the boat in a firm grasp, and the next moment it plunged headlong into the Hole.
 
After the shock was over Bredenbutta wiped the moisture from her eyes and looked to see where she was, and what had become of her. She found that she had landed in a very remarkable country, and for a time could do nothing but gaze in wonder on the strange sights that met her view.
 
TurvylandThe trees were all growing on their top branches, with their roots high in the air; and the houses rested on the tops of their chimneys, the smoke going into the ground, and the doorsteps being at the tops of the buildings. A rabbit was flying around in the air, and a flock of skylarks walked on the ground, as if they belonged there.
 
Bredenbutta rubbed her eyes, for at first the girl thought she must be dreaming; but when she looked again everything was in the same unnatural position.
 
He wept real tears when he was pleasedTo add to her amazement she now saw a queer creature coming toward her. She might have taken him for a young man, only ho was just the reverse of any young man Bredenbutta had ever seen. He stood upon his hands, which were clad in boots, and used his feet as we use our hands, seeming to be very handy with his toes. His teeth were in his ears, and he ate with them and heard with his mouth. He also smelled with his eyes and saw out of his nose—which was all very curious. When he walked he ran, and when he ran he stood still. He spoke when he was silent and remained dumb when he had anything to say. In addition to this, he wept real tears when he was pleased, and laughed merrily whenever anything grieved him.
 
It was no wonder the Duchess Bredenbutta stared in surprise when such an odd creature came up to her backward and looked at her solemnly from his pug nose.
 
"No wonder the Duchess Bredenbutta stared in surprise."
 
"Who are you?" asked Bredenbutta, as soon as she could find breath to speak.
 
The young man kept quiet and answered: "My name is Upsydoun."
 
"I think you are," laughed Bredenbutta.
 
"You think I am what?" demanded the young man, the voice coming from his ear.
 
"Up-side-down," she replied.
 
At this retort the tears rolled down his cheeks with joy.
 
"Why, it is you who are up-side- down," he said; "how in the world did you get up here?"
 
"Down here, you mean," corrected the Duchess, with dignity.
 
"I mean nothing of the kind," he said, silently, while his nose twinkled with amusement; "this country is up, and not down."
 
"What country is it?" inquired Bredenbutta, much perplexed by such an absurd statement.
 
"Why, Turvyland, to be sure," was the answer.
 
"Oh!" sighed Bredenbutta; but she was no wiser than before.
 
"Now you are here," said Upsydoun, "you may come home with me and eat some dinner."
 
"I shall be very glad to," answered the Duchess, who was really hungry. "Where do you live?"
 
"Over there," replied Upsydoun, pointing to the south; "so stay where you are and follow me." Then he walked away on his hands in exactly the opposite direction from that he had indicated.
 
Bredenbutta followed him, and shortly after encountered several other people, of just the same queer appearance as her conductor. They looked out of their noses at her in great surprise, and, without speaking, asked Upsydoun who she was.
 
"The Duchess Bredenbutta," he silently answered, "I found her where the Rootbeer River bubbles up. Isn't she a queer-looking creature?"
 
"She is, indeed," they all answered, in a still chorus, and then they followed the girl out of curiosity, as boys follow a band or a dancing bear. When they reached the house of Upsydoun more than a hundred inhabitants of Turvyland were at Bredenbutta's heels and Upsydoun's thumbs.
 
She was welcomed very kindly, however, and the young man's mother kissed the Duchess with her left ear, an act which was considered a special mark of favor in Turvyland,
 
"Would you like to stan............