"FAITH, gentlemen," said Commander Potter, as with a long pole, his attendants drew him, besmeared with soft black mud, from the frog-pond, "though I know not how the battle goes, and am not a bit bruised in my person, I am much concerned for the damage to my uniform. My horse I freely forgive, for he is really a trusty animal. Go then and bring him to me, for though he served me this dirty trick, my heart will not let me forget his past goodness." And while a messenger was dispatched in search of the wayward steed, the general was got to his head-quarters, where a change of raiment so altered his appearance that when his generals came to announce the result of the battle scarce one of them recognised him until he spoke. In truth he was quietly stretched upon a bed, with nothing on but his breeches, shirt, and night cap. But when they announced to him the manner in which this great victory was won, he sprang to his feet, and giving vent to his ecstacy, declared it nothing less than a miracle. "Faith of my mother!" he exclaimed, placing his hands to his belly and tossing his head, "now I know that my horse Battle was preserved to me for a great purpose."

"Aye sir, it is wise of you to say so," replied Broadbottom, taking him gravely by the hand, "but it is my melancholy duty to inform you that the poor animal is killed. But it may afford you consolation to know that he first killed the King and his mule." This sad news so affected the general that he could with difficulty restrain his tears. Indeed the words choaked in his throat for several minutes, and he seemed completely overcome with melancholy. "You must remember, general," replied Goneti, with a flourish of his sword, "that it is to this animal we owe the success of our arms."

"I am delighted with this excellent account of my horse," said the Commander, with regained cheerfulness. "It is true, an accident I need not describe here, deprived you of the great service I had intended to bestow upon this battle. If, however, it was by my horse, then by all all the rules of war, I am entitled to a large share of the honor. It was a miracle performed by him, gentlemen; and viewing it in that light, I am consoled for his death, and so peace be with him."

Broadbottom now stepped forward, in his uniform, and, with a twinkle of mischief in his eye, replied: "Our Commander has it exactly. And if it please him, we will have this battle called the Battle of the Miracle!"

"Faith, general," rejoined Commander Potter, "you have hit my way of thinking, exactly. Let Stoneheart appear, and I will instruct him how to record this great victory in the New York newspapers, so that the whole union be made to dance with joy when it appears." Stoneheart was not long in appearing before his Commander, who at once complimented him, though in truth he was in no very sober mood, on his great proficiency at making the greatest victories ever won by mortal valor. And although it was said of this Stoneheart that he was nowhere to be found during the hottest of the fight, he was not a whit less than a general in his own eyes. Having been enjoined what to say by his commander, this good man and valiant soldier betook himself to the preparation of these grandiloquent articles. As for the commander, he busied himself writing ponderous dispatches to Glenmoregain, who, satisfied that he had a perfect pearl of a Commander, as well as the kingdom of Kalorama safe between his thumbs, forthwith ordered the building of seven more steamships, since it was no small matter for a great merchant to go about with two or three kingdoms in his pockets, and not have a navy to protect them. In truth it must be confessed that Glenmoregain, although an excellent gentlemen and worthy citizen, was exceedingly loose in his discretion. Perhaps, however, it is charitable to say that a less credulous gentleman might have yielded to his enthusiasm under the same circumstances, for Commander Potter declared by the saints that not only had he been in the flame and fire of every fight, but killed with his own arm not less than six of the enemy's best generals, whose heads he would send him by the next mail.

And now the allies having vanquished the poor Kaloramas, and put the priests to flight, betook themselves to rioting, and were so elated at gaining the victory, that they entirely forgot to take possession of Nezub, and indeed spent three whole days in such pleasant amusements as hanging the peasantry in the neighborhood, and pillaging such things as henroosts and beehives. And this strange apathy on the part of the allies afforded the poor Nezubians an excellent opportunity for burying their king decently; after which they vacated their humble homes, with no few sighs and regrets. In truth many was the heart that beat in sorrow as it passed some familiar object, and the eye that moistened with tears as it turned to look back upon those rude cabins wherein was stored all the recollections of childhood.

The generals having come to their senses on the fourth day, formed their army, and suddenly remembering that it would be in accordance with the usages of war to demand a capitulation, dispatched an officer with a flag of truce. But on entering the town he found it deserted, even to the dogs; while the priests, as if to leave traces of their mission along the lonely streets, had planted them with crosses. This state of things being reported, Commander Potter, for want of his favorite horse, mounted a well-starved mule, and placing himself at the head of his army, entered the town amidst the blowing of horns and beating of drums, which fully satisfied him that no greater, or more fortunate commander ever lived. But the army had not been in possession of the town more than an hour when a great quarrel arose between Commander Potter and Don Perez Goneti, touching the right to rule the kingdom. Both proceeded to take possession of the king's palace; both asserted their claims in language and demeanor unbecoming soldiers; and each ordered his followers to hang the other without judge or jury. And when they were about putting an end to this dispute with ............