“What is the matter? Why are you laughing so much?” asked Aunt Piffy, the fat old lady bear, of Uncle Wigwag, the comical old bear gentleman, one morning at the breakfast table.
“Oh, ho! Ha, ha! I tee-hee—ho—ho! I just can’t help it!” said Uncle Wigwag, giggling, so that he spilled some honey on the tablecloth. And Mrs. Stubtail, the mamma bear, said:
“Oh, there you go again!”
“Excuse me!” spoke Uncle Wigwag, and then he laughed some more, and some milk he was drinking went down his Sunday throat, and, as the day happened to be Thursday, it was altogether wrong you see, and Uncle Wigwag choked and sniffed and snuffled and laughed, all at the same time.
“Well, I do declare!” exclaimed Aunt Piffy, as she patted Uncle Wigwag on the back, so he wouldn’t lose his breath. And he didn’t, I’m glad to say, but Aunt Piffy accidentally pounded him 120so hard that she lost part of her own breath, and when she talked next time she had to go like this:
“I never (puff) saw you behave so (puff) at the table before (puff) Waggie, in all my (puff) life. Never! (puff). What is the (puff) matter, Waggie?” You see she called Uncle Wigwag by the name of Waggie for short.
“Oh!” said Uncle Wigwag, when finally he could talk, “I just thought of something, I did! It made me laugh!”
Mr. Whitewash, the polar bear gentleman, looked at Uncle Wigwag quite severely, but he said nothing, and only went on eating his breakfast.
“I think I know what made Uncle Wigwag laugh,” said Beckie Stubtail, the little girl bear, to Neddie, her brother, some time later.
“What?” he asked as he looked for his books to take to school. “What was it, Beckie?”
“He’s thinking of a joke to play,” said Beckie.
“I believe you’re right,” went on Neddie. “Oh, Beckie, and I’ve just thought of something, too.”
“What is it?” she asked as she looked to see if her doll, Sarah Janet Picklefeather, was nicely covered up in the puppy dog’s basket, so she wouldn’t get cold while Beckie was at school.
121“We’ll just play a trick on Uncle Wigwag,” went on Neddie. “He plays so many on us that it’s about time we played one on him.”
“Oh, yes, let’s do it!” cried Beckie, clapping her little paws. “But it won’t be a mean or an unkind trick, will it, Neddie? For Uncle Wigwag is very good to us, and gives us lollypops, even if he does play a joke on us now and then.”
“Oh, no, it won’t be a bad trick,” said Neddie, laughing. “Only a funny one.”
So the two little bear children went on to school, talking on the way of the joke they would play on Uncle Wigwag. In fact, Neddie was thinking so much about this that he did not pay enough attention to his lessons, and when the teacher asked him: “Why does a cow eat grass?” Neddie answered: “Because it’s a joke!”
You see, he was thinking of the one he and Beckie were going to play. But the teacher didn’t know that, so she made Neddie go down to the foot of the class for not answering correctly.
Well, when school was out, Neddie and Beckie hurried off by themselves to play the joke on Uncle Wigwag.
“Have you thought of what to do yet?” asked Beckie.
“Yes,” said Neddie, “you know it was cold last night, and the little puddle of water near our 122cave-house is frozen over. It’s as slippery as glass. Now we’ll cover the puddle over with some sawdust, so you can’t see the ice. Then we’ll make believe write a letter to Uncle Wigwag and we’ll put it on the top of the sawdust in the middle of the frozen puddle.
“He’ll run out to get the letter, when we tell him there is one for him, and he’ll slip on the ice and go down ‘ko-bunk!’”
“Oh, but won’t he get hurt?” asked Beckie, anxious-like.
“No, for his fur is so thick now that he won’t feel the fall,” said Neddie. “Come on, we’ll play the joke on him.”
So the two little bear children got some sawdust, and, when no one was looking, they sprinkled it on the ice so the slippery stuff could not be seen.
Then they made believe write a letter to Uncle Wigwag, and, putting it in a large envelope, with his name on the outside, they put this right in the middle of the frozen puddle, tossing it there so they themselves would not have to walk on the ice and maybe fall down.
“Now, we’ll hide behind this tree,” said Neddie, “and watch for Uncle Wigwag to fall down.” They had left word............