THE AUTHOR RENOUNCES POPERY—OBTAINS A SITUATION IN THE CHELSEA MILITARY ASYLUM—ATTENDS SLOANE-TERRACE CHAPEL—THE SERVICE DESCRIBED—SIMPLICITY OF PROTESTANT WORSHIP.  
o one, I apprehend, will wonder, that at the close of the preceding view, my mind was at rest as to the course most advisable. A voice seemed to sound in my ears, ‘Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partaker in her sins.’ With gratitude unfeigned, I thank God, who has delivered me from such antichristian articles of faith. I entirely reject them, persuaded that they are the mere invention of crafty men, who, under the pretence of superior sanctity, are among the most consummate hypocrites on earth; and heartily rejoice that though such articles were once the terror, they are now the sport of enlightened society.
An affecting question is asked by the prophet Zechariah, ‘Is not this a brand plucked out of the fire?’ and it is with no small propriety that the inquiry is made concerning myself. I have wandered over sea and land; have been in perils both of flood and field; in ‘hair-breadth ‘scapes’ I have rivalled Othello’s self; for several years I was dangerously familiar with the bayonet-point and whistling bullet; and have followed a profession whose element is strife and bloodshed. While thousands have fallen, I am preserved in the land and light of the living; and, what is perhaps an equal mercy, am placed in a situation in which I have become conscious of these obligations, 233and where the privileges of church-fellowship exist in rich abundance. It would be ungrateful, also, were I not to acknowledge the uncommon kindness with which several of the officers under whom I served furnished me, on application, with testimonials relative to my previous conduct in the army. It would be mere affectation were I to profess myself indifferent to opinions so generously expressed; and as military reputation, founded on faithful services, is frequently the only riches of which an old soldier can boast, I shall be pardoned for introducing some extracts from letters received about this time from several gentlemen well known in superior military circles.
I ought to premise that I had applied to Lieut.-Col Williamson, Commandant at the Royal Military Asylum, Chelsea, for admission into that institution as one of the superintendents of the children; to secure which, I found it necessary to obtain respectable references as to previous character. Colonel (now General) Pearson observed concerning me: ‘I have much pleasure in stating, that his conduct on every occasion merited my most perfect approbation, and that I consider him highly qualified for any situation which requires activity, sobriety, and integrity; and as such I beg leave to recommend him.’ Major Page, under whose notice I had acted at Tynemouth, certified that he had known me for several years, during which period he was pleased to say, that my conduct as a soldier gave great satisfaction; and, with reference to an event in my life already alluded to, adds ‘he particularly distinguished himself, and was the means of rescuing from a watery grave three or four sailors. I recollect his plunging through the surf and bringing a sailor on shore, at the time no boat would quit the beach. I cannot say too much in this soldier’s praise; and nothing gives me greater pleasure than to recommend him.’ To make 234assurance doubly sure, Colonel Napier added, that I had ‘served in the 43rd regiment nearly eleven years; had been at the reduction of Copenhagen in 1807; at General Moore’s retreat to Corunna in 1808, and the following year; and at the battles of Almeida, Busaco, Pombal, Condeixa, Subagal, Fuentes d’Onoro, Ciudad Rodrigo, and Badajos, at which latter place he was severely wounded in the head and thigh.’ These nails, driven so forcibly, to fasten my respectability, were clenched by Lieutenant-Colonel Duffy, who also spoke of me in very handsome and obliging terms. Captain Patteson then advanced, by stating concerning me: ‘I had every reason to be satisfied with his steady, sober, honest, and soldier-like conduct, and had frequent opportunities of observing his brave and valiant behaviour in the field.’ Besides these, which told heavily on the board, I had a letter of similar import from Lieutenant-Colonel Booth, who was condescending enough to bring up the reserve, and inclose his recommendatory note in another written and directed to myself, in which he remarks: ‘I have great pleasure in stating what I remember of your character in the 43rd regiment, for I have a perfect remembrance of you; and it is gratifying to myself that you remember your old corps with so great affection. You are entitled to our best wishes, as one of those good and gallant soldiers who contributed to support the reputation of the regiment during the Peninsular war.’
I have been induced to quote these flattering notices, not for the purpose of self-esteem, and finding food for vanity; but I am anxious to show, that alertness and vigilance are neither unnoticed nor unrewarded in the British army; and that the superior officers are not unwilling to recollect an old and wounded soldier, when the recognition can assist him. Supported by such respectable rank and influence, my efforts to gain admission into the asylum were successful, and in the month of December, 2351823, I was received as a company sergeant. After having been in this situation about four years, I became acquainted with several members of the congregation assembling at Sloane-terrace chapel, Chelsea; and my views of human depravity, of moral obligation, and ‘the exceeding sinfulness of sin,’ together with the necessity of a change of heart and life, were rendered much clearer than formerly. I perceived that in religion there is not only something to be professed, but a great deal to be experienced. The more I inquired and reflected upon myself, so much the more I was dissatisfied. At first I resolved to mend my morals, and live more scrupulously. But a brief trial showed me that my theory was good for nothing, nor would hang together. There was no relish of salvation in it; and in escaping from one evil, I ran headlong into a greater. My mind was afterwards led, by degrees almost imperceptible, to reflect deeply upon that infinite goodness by which I had thus far been brought through the great and terrible wilderness of this world. I began more clearly to perceive, that religion consisted in a divine change; and desires to share in its blessings, till then unknown, created, no doubt, by the Spirit’s influence, were continually present with me. But how to escape from the trammels of sin was the great and apparently unconquerable difficulty: my condition is described in holy writ with infinite accuracy;—‘For the good that I would, I do not: but the evil that I would not, that I do. I find then a law, that when I would do good, evil is present with me.’ The more I strove, the deeper I sank; until, wearied with the vain task of conquering sin by efforts founded on the strength merely of reason and propriety, I gave up the contest, and endeavoured to conclude that it would be time enough to enter on religious courses when I became old and good for little. The illusion was incomplete. It was not sufficiently specious to deceive even my own mind. 236Perhaps I ought rather to conclude, that the mercy of God would not permit me thus to wander into the congregation of the dead. I had no rest. My sins became increasingly alarming; and I felt afraid of going to sleep, lest I should awake in perdition.
Among several other places of public resort in the vicinity of my residence, and much frequented by military men, was ‘The Snow-shoes,’ a public house of entertainment, of great convivial celebrity, where many pounds of my money had unfortunately gone astray. In spite of some vivid convictions to the contrary, I made an engagement to meet an old brother sergeant, and ‘spend the evening,’ which, in gay language, generally includes the luxury of cigars, and libations of strong liquor. It happened, providentially, that my friend was not ready by the appointed time, so that on my arrival I was seated alone, and had time for reflection. A few minutes before I entered the house, a prayer rose in my mind, that the Almighty would preserve me from the pending excesses, the ruinous effects of which, I knew, must fall both on myself and family. The check was so powerful that I halted at the threshold of the passage. In that instant Satan suggested, ‘Take a little, and get home in time,’ I accordingly went into the house and called for some liquor, but had not remained long before I felt myself suddenly struck by some powerful though unseen hand. My whole frame trembled, so that I was fain to lean against the table for support. Meantime I thought a voice repeated in my ear, ‘Go home!’ My agitation was so great as to excite the attention of several persons in the room, who asked me what was the matter. Unable to reply, and determined to obey my invisible but friendly monitor, whom I considered as a gracious signal of Almighty direction, I hurried out of the place, went home immediately, and related the occurrence to my wondering family. This 237was only the beginning of miracles; and from that time I can trace the operations of the Spirit as they were graciously afforded, every link of which, as part of a golden chain, let down from on high, contributed to draw me from the miry clay of nature’s dismal dungeon, to the light and liberty of Gospel day.
It so happened, or rather, was so ordered, that my daughter was placed in a school conducted by a worthy member of the Wesleyan society. One day the governess made some inquiries relative to the state of religion in our family. How she was answered by her pupil I know not; but most likely the good instructress had reason to conclude that our devotions were not of the most exalted kind. Be that as it may, she kindly selected a tract, entitled ‘James Covey,’ and gave it to the child, with directions to read it at home. My daughter, aware of the prejudice I had entertained against Methodism, was afraid to show me the tract. It was at length so contrived that the ‘Covey’ should attract my notice. After a cursory glance, it struck me there was some Methodist contrivance about the matter; I therefore threw the tract upon the fire, and desired that my daughter might be removed from those fanatical folks. Satisfied with the exploit, I left the house, and resumed my employment; but on taking off my hat, for the purpose of hanging it up, I observed what appeared to be a sheet of paper, folded ............