The Courier travelled so very swiftly with the left-handed man, that they[Pg 63] halted nowhere to rest between Petrograd and London, but merely drew their belts tighter at every posting-station, so that their bowels and their lungs might not get mixed up together; but, as an allowance of liquor at will had been appointed to the left-handed man after his interview with the Emperor, at Platoffs instance, he sustained himself on that alone, without eating, and sang Russian songs all through Europe, making only a refrain in foreign fashion, "A?, people, c'est très juli."[26]  
As soon as the Courier brought him to London, he presented himself to the proper persons and delivered the casket, but placed the left-handed man in a chamber at a hotel; but there the latter speedily grew bored, and felt a desire to eat. He knocked on the door, and[Pg 64] pointed out his mouth to the servant who waited on him, and the man immediately conducted him to the food-reception room.
 
There the left-handed man seated himself at the table, and sat, and sat; but how to ask for anything in English he did not know. But after a while he found out. Again he simply tapped upon the table with his finger, and pointed at his mouth; the Englishmen guessed, and served him, only they did not always bring what he wanted, but he did not take what did not suit him. They brought him a hot studing in fire[27] of their preparation. Says he, "I know not whether that can be eaten," and he would not taste it; so they changed it, and brought him another dish. And thus, also, he would not drink their brandy, because it was green, as though mixed with copperas, but[Pg 65] chose the most natural things of all, and waited for the Courier in the coolness behind the bottle-room.
 
And those persons to whom the Courier had delivered the nymfozoria examined it that very moment with the most powerful melkoscopes, and immediately put a description in the public news, so that an announcement[28] of it might come to general notice on the following day.
 
"And we wish to see that master-workman himself at once," said they.
 
The Courier led them to the chamber, and thence to the food-reception room, where our left-handed man had already grown fairly red in the face, and said: "Here he is!"
 
The Englishmen immediately began to clap the left-handed man on the shoulder, slap-slap, and on the hands, as with an equal.
 
[Pg 66]
 
"Comrade," said they, "comrade,—good master,—we will talk with thee hereafter, in due time, but now we will drink to thy success."
 
They called for a great deal of liquor, and gave the first glass to the left-handed man, but he would not drink first: "Perhaps they wish to poison me out of vexation," he thought.
 
"No," says he, "that is not proper etiquette. Even in Poland no one is greater than the host—drink first yourselves."
 
The Englishmen tested all the liquors in his presence, and then began to pour out for him. He rose, crossed himself with his left hand, and drank to the health of them all.
 
They noticed that he crossed himself with his left hand, and asked the Courier: "What is he—a Lutheran or a Protestant?"
 
The Courier replied: "No, he is[Pg 67] neither a Lutheran nor a Protestant, but of the Russian faith."
 
"But why does he cross himself with his left hand?"
 
The Courier said: "He's left-handed, and does everything with his left hand."
 
The Englishmen began to be more amazed than ever, and set to pouring liquor into the left-handed man and the Courier, and thus they went on for three days, and then they said: "Now, that's enough."
 
But they took a symphony of water with airfixe, and having completely freshened themselves up, they began to interrogate the left-handed man; Where and what he had studied, and to what point he was acquainted with arithmetic?
 
The left-handed man replied: "Our learning is single: we can read the Psalter and the Polusonnik, but we know no arithmetic whatever."
 
[Pg 68]
 
The Englishmen exchanged glances and said: "This is astounding!"
 
But the left-handed man replied: "That's the way with us everywhere."
 
"But," they inquire, "what sort of a book in Russia is that 'Polusonnik'?"[29]
 
"That," says he, "is a book concerned with this—that if there is anything touching on fortune-telling which King David has not clearly set forth in the Psalter, then people are able to divine the completion in the Polusonnik."
 
They say: "That's a pity; 't would be better if you knew at least the four ordinary rules of arithmetic,—they would be far more useful to you than the entire Polusonnik. Then you would be able to grasp the fact that in every machine there is a calculation of powers, and although you are very clever with your hands, you have not taken into[Pg 69] consideration that such a tiny machine as the nymfozoria is calculated with the most exact accuracy, and that it cannot carry its shoes."
 
To that the left-handed man agreed. "As to that," says he, "there is no dispute—that we have not gone in for science, but only we are faithfully loyal to our Fatherland."
 
But the Englishmen say to him; "Stay with us, we will transmit to you great............