TO A BAD RIDER.
I.
WHY, Mr. Rider, why
Your nag so ill indorse, man?
To make observers cry,
You’re mounted, but no horseman?
[Pg 352]
II.
With elbows out so far,
This thought you can’t debar me—
Though no Dragoon— Hussar—
You’re surely of the army!
III.
I hope to turn M.P.
You have not any notion,
So awkward you would be
At “seconding a motion!”
 
OUT AT ELBOWS.
MY SON AND HEIR.
I.
MY mother bids me bind my heir,
But not the trade where I should bind;
To place a boy—the how and where—
It is the plague of parent-kind!
[Pg 353]
II.
She does not hint the slightest plan,
Nor what indentures to endorse;
Whether to bind him to a man,—
Or, like Mazeppa, to a horse.
 
SON AND HAIR.
III.
What line to choose of likely rise,
To something in the Stocks at last,—
“Fast bind, fast find,” the proverb cries,
I find I cannot bind so fast!
IV.
A Statesman James can never be;
A Tailor?—there I only learn
His chief concern is cloth, and he
Is always cutting his concern.
[Pg 354]
V.
A Seedsman?—I’d not have him so;
A Grocer’s plum might disappoint;
A Butcher?—no, not that—although
I hear “the times are out of joint!”
VI.
Too many of all trades there be,
Like Pedlars, each has such a pack,
A merchant selling coals?—we see
The buyer send to cellar back.
VII.
A Hardware dealer?—that might please,
But if his trade’s foundation leans
On spikes and nails, he won’t have ease
When he retires upon his means.
VIII.
A Soldier?—there he has not nerves
A Sailor seldom lays up pelf:
A Baker?—no, a baker serves
His customer before himself.
IX.
Dresser of hair?—that’s not the sort;
A joiner jars with his desire—
A Churchman?—James is very short,
And cannot to a church aspire.
X.
A Lawyer?&mda............