TELL US A STORY, Hugh? Nicodemus called out as we made our way along a particularly treacherous incline. The moreblasphemous the better.

The trail seemed cut out of the mountain's edge, teetering over an immense chasm. One false step would mean a grisly death. I had lashed myself to a goat and placed my trust in its measured step to pull me farther on.

There is the one about the convent and the whorehouse, I said, delving back to my days as an innkeeper. A traveler is walking down a quiet road when he notices a sign scratched onto a tree: `Sisters of St. Brigit Convent, House of Prostitution, two miles.'

Yes, I saw it myself, a soldier exclaimed. A ways back on that last ridge. The peril of the climb was broken by a few welcome laughs.

The traveler assumes it is a joke, I resumed, and continues along. Soon he comes to another sign. `Sisters of St. Brigit, House of Prostitution, one mile.' Now his curiosity is piqued. A ways ahead, there is a third sign. This time: `Convent, Brothel, next right.'

`Why not?' the traveler thinks, and turns down the road until he arrives at an old stone church marked St.Brigit. He steps up and rings the bell, and an abbess answers. `What may we do for you, my son?'

`I saw your signs along the road,' the traveler says. `Very well, my son,' the abbess replies. `Please, follow me.'

She leads him through a series of dark, winding passages where he sees many beautiful young nuns who smile at him.

Where are these nuns whenI am in need? a soldier behind me moaned.

At last the abbess stops at a door, I went on. The traveler goes in and is greeted by another comely nun, who instructs him, `Place a gold coin in the cup.' He empties his pockets excitedly. `Good enough,' she says, `Now, just go through that door.'

Aroused, the traveler hurries through the door, but he finds himself back outside, at the entrance, facing another sign. `Go in peace,' it reads, `and consider yourself properly screwed!'

Laughter broke out from all around.

I don't get it, Robert said behind me. I thought there was a brothel.

Never mind. I rolled my eyes. Nico's trick had worked. For a few moments, our burden had seemed bearable. All I wanted was to get off this ridge.

Suddenly I heard a rumble from above. A slide of rock and gravel hurtled down at us. I reached for Robert and pulled the boy toward the mountain's face, gripping the sheer sto............