“You’re the craziest chap I ever saw,” laughed Dan. “Is it a good one?” Ned tried it with his teeth, tapped it on the edge of the railing and eyed it anxiously. “Perfectly good,” he replied finally. “It seems to be made of silver.”
“Thought it might be a lead quarter,” said Dan.
“Fever near, sir; fever near!”
“Eh?”
“I said fever near.”
“What’s that?”
“That’s a phrase of reassurance spoken in my new universal language.”
“Your new what?”
“Universal language,” replied Ned gravely, seating himself on the railing. “It’s away ahead of Esperanto, while as for Volapuk—why, Volapuk’s dead and buried. The beauty of my system—”
“What do you call it?”
Ned’s hesitation was infinitesimal, and he answered[206] without the flicker of an eyelash. “Tookeranto. As I was saying, its greatest beauty is its simplicity. You merely change the first letters of your words; I think transpose is the word I should have used. For instance, I say to you, ‘That’s a pice shair of noes you have,’ and you understand me at once.”
“The dickens I do!” Dan laughed.
“You don’t? But you would get me if I told you you were pitting on the sorch of the Hashington’s Wead?”
“Once more, please, and give me something easier,” begged Dan.
“Very well; set me lee. I suppose you know that you had choast ricken for dinner?”
“Roast chicken! But how the dickens do you do it so quickly? I’d have to think an hour.”
“Hink a thour, you mean,” Ned corrected. “It’s serfectly pimple. It pomes with cractice.”
“For goodness’ sake, shut up!” laughed Dan. “You’ll have me crazy. It’s a wonderful language, though. I shall study it. Have you written a book about it yet?”
“Yot net,” replied Ned, shaking his head, “but I’m toing go. When I do I shall dedicate it to Van Dinton.”
Dan put his hands to his ears and jumped up.[207] “Come on,” he cried, “and let me take you home before you get any worse!”
“You mean,” began Ned gravely.
“No, I don’t! Shut up! Have we paid for dinner yet? I’ve eaten so much I’ve forgotten what has happened.”
“We have not. Let’s find mine host and settle up.”
“Now I know why you worked so hard for that tip. You’re going to help pay for your dinner with it.”
“That quarter? Never! Do you realize, sir, that that is absolutely the first money I ever earned? Is not that a beautiful thought? I shall always keep that quarter, always treasure it.” He slipped it into his vest pocket and patted it fondly. “You never realize the value of money, Vinton, until you earn it by the sweat of your brow.”
“Your brow hasn’t sweated ten cents’ worth,” laughed Dan. “Come on and let’s hunt up Mr. Washington.”
“I wish,” murmured Ned regretfully when they had each enriched the hotel exchequer with a dollar bill, “I wish I had eaten that fourth fritter!”
They walked back rather more leisurely through the late sunlight, reaching school just as twilight descended.
[208]
“I never thought,” Ned confided as they parted in front of Clarke, “that I’d have any appetite for supper, but, to quote our English cousins again, I feel a bit peckish, don’t you know.”
“I’m hungry again myself,” Dan answered. “I say, we had an awfully good time, didn’t we? Let’s try it again some day, eh? Much obliged to you, Tooker, for coming along. I suppose you thought I was sort of crazy, but it was Payson’s idea; he thought I needed a tramp, and so I asked you—”
“Thank you,” said Ned gravely. “I may be a tramp, but you needn’t throw it in my face.”
“I’m sorry; hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. Come and see me, will you? Come over to-night for a while.”
“Not to-night, for I told Burtis I’d drop in on him. But I’ll be around soon. Lo song.”
“Eh? Oh, so long. I’m crazy about your Tookeritis—”
“Tookeranto, please,” Ned corrected.
“Whatever it is; and I’m going to study it so I can understand what you’re saying now and then.”
“Unkind, unkind!” murmured Ned sorrowfully. “I fid you barewell, Van Dinton.”
Kendall had news for Ned that evening when the latter called on him, but owing to the fact[209] that Harold Towne was in the room he couldn’t confide it for a time. Harold entertained a large respect and admiration for Ned Tooker, and whenever he was on hand on the occasions of Ned’s visits he always set out to make himself agreeable. Harold’s notion of being agreeable was to monopolize most of the conversation, carefully selecting subjects which he believed Ned to be interested in and rattling away on them with an assurance that was at once irritating and amusing. Ned detested Kendall’s roommate heartily, but managed to be polite no matter how much Harold’s chatter annoyed him. To-night Harold quite surpassed himself, playing the r?le of host from the moment of Ned’s appearance.
“Hello, Tooker!” Harold cried. “Awfully glad to see you. Kendall, pull that chair around for Tooker. Throw your cap anywhere; this is Liberty Hall.”
“Much obliged, but I’ll sit here. Well, how are things with you, Curt?”
“Oh, he’s been grinding at his books all the afternoon,” said Harold. “I tell him he’s after a scholarship.”
“Very commendable ambition,” said Ned soberly. “I tried it myself once and came within one of getting a Burrows. I wrote home about it and my dad wrote back that he guessed that[210] was about as near as I’d ever get to making fifty dollars. Such ingratitude was naturally discouraging and I never tried again.”
Harold laughed uproariously and Ned observed him in grave surprise.
“I made a quarter to-day, though,” he went on. “Walked over to Lloyd for dinner and held a man’s auto for him and he gave me a quarter. Here it is. Looks all right, doesn’t it?” He passed it to Kendall.
“Seems to be real money,” laughed Kendall. “What do you mean by saying you held a man’s auto? Looked after it for him?”
“Yes, held it by the bit. It was rather nervous, you see; tried to jump out of the shafts every time a leaf rustled.”
“Oh, it was a horse?” said Harold.
“No, an automobile! a dark bay with coppery points. It was very good-looking, too. Very deep in the radiator, and had an arched neck and fine quarters. This is one of them.”
“You’re crazy, Ned,” laughed Kendall. “Was it a horse or was it an automobile?”
“Oh, I don’t know, but I got a quarter. And all I did was hold its head, bring a pail of water for it and polish the brass. My, but it’s easy to earn money if you know how! Want to play some golf to-morrow?”
[211]
“Yes, I’d love to, if you care to bother with me,&............