THE NEW FABLE OF SUSAN AND THE DAUGHTER AND THE GRAND-DAUGHTER, AND THEN SOMETHING REALLY GRAND  
Once there was a full-blown Wild Peach, registered in the Family Bible as Susan Mahaly.
 
Her Pap divided his time between collecting at a Toll-Gate and defending the Military Reputation of Andy Jackson.
 
The family dwelt in what was then regarded by Cambridge, Mass., as the Twilight Zone of Semi-Culture, viz., Swigget County, Pennsylvania. Susan wore Linsey-Woolsey from Monday to Saturday. She never had tampered with her Venus de Milo Topography and she did not even suspect that Women had Nerves.
 
When she was seventeen she had a Fore-Arm like a Member of the
Turnverein.
She knew how to Card and Weave and Dye. Also she could make Loose Soap in a kettle out in the Open Air.
 
Susan never fell down on her Salt-Rising Bread. Her Apple Butter was always A1.
 
It was commonly agreed that she would make some Man a good Housekeeper, for she was never sickly and could stay on her Feet sixteen hours at a Stretch.
 
Already she was beginning to look down the Pike for a regular Fellow. In the year 1840, the Lass of seventeen who failed to get her Hooks on some roaming specimen of the Opposite Gender was in danger of being whispered about as an Old Maid. Celibacy was listed with Arson and Manslaughter.
 
Rufus was destined to be an Early Victorian Rummy, but he could lift a Saw-Log, and he would stand without being hitched, so Susan nailed him the third time he came snooping around the Toll-Gate.
 
Rufus did not have a Window to hoist or a Fence to lean on. But there is no Poverty in any Pocket of the Universe until Wealth arrives and begins to get Luggy.
 
Susan thought she was playing in rare Luck to snare a Six-Footer who owned a good Squirrel Rifle and could out-wrastle all Comers.
 
The Hills of Pennsylvania were becoming congested, with Neighbors not more than two or three miles apart, so Rufus and his Bride decided to hit a New Trail into the Dark Timber and grow up with the Boundless West.
 
Relatives of the Young Couple staked them to a team of Pelters, a Muley
Cow, a Bird Dog of dubious Ancestry, an Axe and a Skillet, and started
them over the Divide toward the perilous Frontier, away out yender in
Illinoy.
It was a Hard Life. As they trundled slowly over the rotten Roads, toward the Land of Promise, they had to subsist largely on Venison, Prairie Chicken, Quail, Black Bass, Berries, and Wild Honey. They carried their own Coffee.
 
Arrived at the Jumping-Off Place, they settled down among the Mink and
Musk-Rats. Rufus hewed out and jammed together a little two by twice
Cabin with the Flue running up the outside. It looked ornery enough
to be the Birthplace of almost any successful American.
The Malaria Mosquito was waiting for the Pioneers. In those good old
Chills-and-Fever days, no one ever blamed it on the Female of the
Species. Those who had the Shakes allowed that they were being jarred
by the Hand of Providence.
When the family ran low on Quinine, all he had to do was hook up and drive fifty miles to the nearest Town, where he would trade the Furs for Necessities such as Apple-Jack and Navy Twist, and possibly a few Luxuries such as Tea and Salt.
 
On one of these memorable Trips to the Store, a Mood which combined
Sentiment with reckless Prodigality seized upon him.
He thought of the brave Woman who was back there in the lonesome Shack, shooing the Prairie Wolves away from the Cradle, and he resolved to reward her.
 
With only three Gills of Stone Fence under his Wammus, he spread his Wild-Cat Currency on the Counter and purchased a $6 Clock, with jig-saw ornaments, a shiny coat of Varnish, and a Bouquet of Pink Roses on the door.
 
Susan burst into Tears when she saw it on the Wall, alongside of the
Turkey Wing, and vowed that she had married the Best Man in the World.
Twenty years later, Jennie, the first begotten Chick at the Log House in the Clearing, had matured and married, and was living at the County- Seat with Hiram, Money-Changer and Merchant.
 
Railroad Trains, Side-Bar Buggies, Coal-Oil Lamps, and the Civil War had come along with a Rush and disarranged primitive Conditions. The Frontier had retreated away over into Kansas.
 
In the very Township where, of late, the Beaver had toiled without
Hindrance and the Red Fox dug his hole unscared, people were now eating
Cove Oysters, and going to see "East Lynne."
Hiram was in rugged Health, having defended the flag by Proxy during the recent outcropping of Acrimony between the devotees of Cold Bread and the slaves of Hot Biscuit. The Substitute had been perforated beyond repair at the Battle of Kennesaw Mountain, proving that Hiram made no mistake in remaining behind to tend Store.
 
When Jennie moved in where she could hear the Trains whistle and began to sport a Cameo Brooch, she could ............