Once having left the wood, we reached the little hilltop of which I have already spoken. In spite of having been told that the modern battle-field is empty, I had never imagined anything so desert like as this. Not a man to be seen in these fields which sloped gently downwards; it was abandoned territory.
The firing still continued to rage around us. We could even distinguish a distant crackling now, either rifle-firing or shrapnel, a sign that we were getting nearer.
When we passed by a Calvary, I saw some of the men sign themselves, Gaudéreaux and Trichet among others. They would never have done it during man?uvres. Why was I inclined to see in this Calvary one of the points which would decide the fate of the struggle? I think I must have been hypnotised by the remembrance of the one at Isly. I recollected Zola's superb pages in La Débacle. Another passage which recurred to my mind was the description of Waterloo in La Chartreuse for which I had had a great admiration ever since my schooldays. I was tempted to compare myself with Fabrice. How far removed I was from his freshness of spirit, his youthful enthusiasm.
[Pg 208]
Guillaumin suddenly signed to me.
"Just look at that!"
Down below us, yonder, there rose a puff of smoke, then another nearer; a third; all in a line. They might have been little bonfires lit by an invisible hand. The bursting points of shells!
The noise of the short sharp reports reached us.
"Look out," Guillaumin whispered to me. "They're lengthening their range!"
We had stopped, silent and nonplussed. The captain galloped along the line.
"To fifty paces—extend."
Henriot bellowed, repeating the order. There was no panic. I think no one had fully realised yet that those slight puffs which had appeared were a direct menace to us.
We had taken up the extended order and went on marching, but with rather broken ranks.
"Close up! Close up!" shouted Henriot.
He was running. I noticed that he had drawn his sword. It was very funny. Did he think that he was about to charge? He tried to put it back into the sheath. He stumbled. The men nudged each other with their elbows. A pint of good blood!
Our "connecting file" rushed up.
"Blob formation!"
Henriot, who was still struggling with his scabbard, hesitated. Then he shouted:
"Left incline! No. Right incline! No. As you were!"
"He's all at sea!" said Guillaumin.
Suddenly.... What was happening? Something whistled past.
"Lie down!"
[Pg 209]
I threw myself down, and the men too, without waiting for the order. One did it instinctively.
"Testudos! Testudos!" bellowed Henriot, in an extraordinarily shrill voice.
There was a gigantic explosion close at hand; the ground shook. We were lying pêle-mêle, wherever we'd happened to fall, in groups of eight or ten, and covering much too much ground.
"Close! Close!" I shouted. "Glue yourselves on to each other."
But the ground was shaken again, some flints were sent flying against us. No one stirred. What an instant that was. I hardly dared to look round. As far as the eye could see our men were scattered over the ground in little driblets in the same way in which water spilt on a pavement trickles into tiny pools.
I had predicted that I would be clear-headed.
Shells poured from the radiant sky, preceded by their awe-inspiring blast. We realised which were meant for us, and would fall within a radius of two or three hundred yards. If a single one hit the mark nothing would be left of us but a bleeding mass. O God of Chance! I humbly placed myself in His hands. Second after second passed in the expectation of annihilation. Then I recovered a certain amount of detachment in the thought that I had lost all control over my fate. My thoughts were in a whirl. Life was a fine thing. I might have employed the time allotted to me very differently. My youth contained nothing. I detested Laquarrière. I had made a mess of my share of existence! And mixed with these regrets was a new hope hard to explain.
How many minutes had passed. There was a lull. A voice was raised; it was Bouillon's.
[Pg 210]
"Nobody killed!"
The relief of it! We raised ourselves up on to our knees. Some aeroplanes were circling above us. Taubes, of course!
"Up you get!"
The neighbouring section had started off again. We advanced rapidly. Our connecting file came towards us at the double.
"By sections!"
Henriot repeated:
"Dreher, Guillaumin, by sections!"
We looked at each other, then I exclaimed:
"Come along, the 2nd with me!"
The men did not seem to understand.
"Bouguet, Donnadieu."
Guillaumin had gone off to rally his thirty poilus.
Mine at last made up their minds to follow me, in some disorder.
What formation ought we to adopt? Two deep? Columns of four? Consult Henriot? I hailed him. Waste of energy. He went off making incomprehensible signals to Guillaumin. We must make the best of it.
"Two deep! Two deep!"
The booming began again ... for us, this lot!
"Kneel!"
I shook Siméon by the shoulder!
"Close! Testudos!"
A few actually remembered what to do—Lamalou and Bouillon. They stuck their heads between the legs of the men kneeling in front of them. Their neighbours imitated them.
I had been the last to get down, at the head of my small column. There was no one for me to[Pg 211] shelter behind, so I ran a greater risk than any of the others.
"Get back here, Sergeant," said Corporal Bouguet, "we'll make room for you!"
I crawled back, and slipped in between him and Trichet.
"Thanks!"
I was guilty of a little bit of bluff and stuck my head out. There was a regular hurricane going on. All round us there were great spurts of smoke and dust, and clods of earth were hurle............