WOMAN AND HER SPHERE  
The life and position of woman in Mexico varies much by reason of the heterogeneous character of the population. Because of the absence of a clearly defined middle class it is a fairly safe proposition to say that there are but two classes in Mexico, Creoles and Indians. Creoles include all those who are Europeans or in whom the European blood predominates. Domestic life among the Creole class savours of the East. The ideas with respect to women are Moorish rather than American. Although not obliged to appear on the street with face enshrouded in a shawl or veil, yet the young woman who has respect for her good name would not go abroad without the duenna, or some female companion. Another reminder of Oriental exclusiveness is seen in the life of the ladies of the wealthier classes who always drive in closed carriages even in this land of[163] balmy air and splendid sunshine and, when shopping, do not deign to leave the carriage.
On account of the restrictions against the appearance of women in public, the custom grew up in Spain and Mexico of allowing them to use the windows and balconies for observation. In the cool of the evening the windows on the streets are opened and women, especially the young ladies, appear there to watch the carriages and passers-by and nod to their friends. The home life and social restrictions toward women are inherited from Spanish ancestors who were at one time the aristocracy and ruling class of Mexico. Nowhere is the sentiment of home stronger than among the Creoles. There may be no such word as home in his vocabulary but the casa, or house, of the Mexican is his castle and he protects it in every way from prying eyes. One writer has expressed his view as follows:—“The intense feeling of individuality which so strongly marks the Spanish character and which in the political world is so fatal an element of strife and obstruction, favours this peculiar domesticity. The Castillian is submissive to his king and his priest; haughty and inflexible with his equals. But his own house is a refuge from the contests of out of doors.”
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In the home the father is absolute lord and master and all bow to him. There never comes a time when the children are not subject more or less to parental authority. Yet, in general, the sway is so mild that it is readily yielded to and is scarcely felt. Grown-up sons and daughters do not forget the respect and obedience that was expected of them when they were children. The reverence for parents increases with the passing of the years. A man never grows too old to kiss the hand of his aged mother. The old lady dressed in sombre black and who looks like a poor relation may be the one whose wishes rule. Harmony does not exist in every family and the exceptions are striking ones. Where quarrels and family dissensions do occur, the pride and jealousy of the race renders them the bitterest and fiercest in the world. These vindictive feuds in families frequently led to duels and stabbing affrays to defend personal honour and dignity in former days. A man and wife will often live for years beneath the same roof without speaking. They cannot be divorced but neither will speak the first word and each rather admires the grit of the other.
The home life is jealously shielded from curious eyes. In no place in the world is the[165] social circle more closely guarded than among the higher classes in the City of Mexico. The thick walls, the barred, prison-like windows and the massive, well-guarded doors prevent intrusion and perhaps serve to foster this inclination to lead exclusive lives. Cultured Americans, unless in the official set, who have lived there for years have found it impossible to break into these exclusive circles. Whether this action is due to jealousy, diffidence, a feeling of superiority, or aversion to aliens the fact remains that they are very loth to admit Americans into the privacy of their homes. The foreigner has few opportunities of judging intelligently of the women for they are immured so closely within the four walls of their dwellings. Social life in the semi-public, gregarious ways of American cities is unknown and would not suit these privacy-loving, domestic women.
In “The Awakening of a Nation” the author, Mr. C. F. Lummis, gives a very good description of the Creole woman: “Always and everywhere the Spanish-American female face is interesting; at least as often as in other bloods it is beautiful. Photographs tell but half the story, for complexion is beyond them. But a certain clearness of feature, the almost[166] invariable beauty of the eyes and fine strength of the brows seem as much a Spanish birthright as the high-bred hand and foot. Not even the Parisian face is so flexible in expression, so fit for archness, so graphic to the mood. Yet there is a certain presence in it not to be unnoticed, not to be forgotten. To no woman on earth is religion a more vital, ever-present, all-pervading actuality; and that is why you meet the face of the Madonna almost literally at every corner in Spanish-America. And it is not a superficial thing. There is none to whom the wife-heart, the mother-heart is truer-womanly.”
The Mexican men are passionate admirers of the fair sex. Perhaps it is because of the bewitchery of their black, sparkling eyes. Certainly it is not on account of the white paste which is plastered over their faces or the rouge on their lips. Nor have they added to their attractiveness by the substitution of the Parisian hat for the graceful lace mantilla which lent itself so well to the gentle art of coquetry. There are many handsome women among the Creoles but they are not all beautiful as some writers would lead the reader to infer. They are bright, vivacious and naturally clever. They have a quick understanding which only[167] needs to be cultivated and perhaps this intelligence is quicker and more active than that of the men. They can weave and embroider with taste and skill. They know a little music and a little French but, in the American sense, they are not well educated. The real intellectual element is wanting and the understanding is uncultivated. The higher education for women has not received the stamp of approval in this land of “to-morrow” and the sex has not yet become an important factor in the business or professional world. “If only learned wives,” says one, “are responsible for that poor, down-trodden, pitiable specimen of man called the henpecked husband, then a timid man would be safe in choosing a Mexican wife.” The patriarchal element of society in which man is recognized as lord and master is still in force among these people. The question of woman’s rights has never yet agitated the bosoms of these gentle women.
Domestic freedom in the sense understood by Americans is absent. The daughters are closely watched by their mothers who seldom permit them out of their sight unless accompanied by some older woman or faithful servant. Such a thing as permitting a daughter to have a young man call on her or accompany[168] her to the theatre would never enter the mind of the Mexican mother. In her estimation the men do not deserve any confidence until they are married. The man, of course, thinks that these precautions are unnecessarily cruel. Nevertheless mammas think they are essential, pater familias approves and so the custom remains. Perhaps it is these restrictions that are responsible for the reputation the se?oritas, or young women, have of being flirts or coquettes. They are overflowing with life and spirits and their black eyes look so full of mischief that sometimes they seem to be just spoiling for a flirtation. They are very animated in conversation and in talking keep time with hands, knees, shoulders, elbows and face. Their talk is full of the most extravagant and seemingly profane expressions.
“Oh, Jesus!” says one girl, “what a fetching hat.”
“Mary Most Pure,” replies her companion, “it must have cost five pesos.”
They can stare an American out of countenance and look him straight in the eye but it is only a look of curiosity. The social pleasures resulting from the intermingling of the sexes that are so common with us are not enjoyed by them. At a dance the men retire to[169] one side of the room after a number and the women take seats on the opposite side. Marriages among the wealthier classes are generally made by the parents without consultation with the principals in an affair supposed to be of the hearts. After the formal engagement the intended husband is allowed to call on his fiancée in the presence of the entire family and may take her out to the theatre when accompanied by the mother and all the female members of the household. Marriage is a formidable undertaking for the groom must furnish the entire bridal outfit, in addition to the house and its furnishings. Two ceremonies become necessary, too, if the couple wish to be married by the rites of the church. The civil ceremony is absolutely essential and cannot be dispensed with for under the law this is the only legal marriage. And yet with all these inconveniences to courtship and matrimony, bachelors are less numerous than they are where every facility is granted for love making.
Love and religion are practically the only two subjects with which a se?orita is expected to concern herself. She is, probably, not intentionally or by nature a flirt and she might scorn to inveigle in her meshes the heart of[170] an admirer, but she cannot refrain from using her irresistible eyes or entirely avoid the coquettish use of the indispensable fan with its wordless telegraphy. The Mexican lover pays extravagant homage to his sweetheart and a woman nowhere else is paid such delicate and elaborate compliments. The Spanish method of courtship in which the lady is pictured as sitting at a barred window or leaning from a balcony to listen to the honeyed phrases of her lover or the music of his guitar has reached its highest state of perfection in Mexico.
In the current language of that country a man who is courting a woman is “playing the bear.” It is so named from the restless walking to and fro of the love-stricken youth in front of the window of his inamorata, in a manner not unlike a captive bear in a cage. The same method pursued in the United States would either result in a man being sent to the lunatic asylum as suffering from a “brain storm” or to the workhouse.
 
“PLAYING THE BEAR”
 
A young man who sees a young lady on the street whom he admires, begins by following her home although it may be days or weeks before he will venture to speak to her. Having reached her casa he will begin the hacer el oso, or “playing the bear,” by walking back[171] and forth in front of the house or standing on the street with his eyes fixed upon her windows or balconies for hours at a time, days and nights alike. The young lady, if interested at all, will remain back of the curtain and the slightest movement of the curtains or blinds is a sign that she is not entirely indifferent. After a day or two she may show her face or wave her hand as a further mark of encouragement, and after several days she may appear on the balcony for a few moments. If she goes to church the lover is probably not far behind and an occasional smile or glance from her eyes of midnight is given him as a reward for his faithfulness. Next come daily salutes and smiles when the lover appears. Flowers are sent by the aid of the water-carriers or charcoal-vendors in which notes are concealed. A system of wireless-telegraphy communication is established by means of a fan on one side and a cigarette on the other. This medium of communication has been developed until it has become an elaborate code. Letters become more and more endearing. When the courtship has so far advanced that the lovers will talk, the moonlight nights are all devoted to the love-making and several pairs of lovers can be seen on almost any street by the late[172] home-comer—he on the sidewalk, she at the window. This courtship frequently extends over a period of years and the lover who makes himself so ridiculous sometimes loses the girl then. Jacob’s seven-year probation has many counterparts among the Romeos of Mexico.
A young woman of my acquaintance and her sister recently visited a family in one of the large cities in Mexico. Like all young women they soon became interested in the su............