“Oh the dear pleasures of the velvet plain, The painted Tablets, deal't and deal't again
Cards, with what rapture, and the polish'd die
The yawning chasm of indolence supply.
Then to the Dance and make the sober moon
Witness of joys that shun the sight of noon.
Blame cynic if you can, quadrille or ball,
The snug close party, or the splendid hall,
“Where night down stooping from her ebon throne
Views constellations brighter than her own.
?Tis innocent and harmless, and refined,
The balm of care, elysium of the mind.”
 
[147] THE rapid succession of novelty in a Life in London where the scenes like those of a Pantomime are constantly changing
“From grave to gay, from lively to severe,”
 
scarcely required those attentions which the Hon. Tom Dashall continued to enjoy on the score of arrangements for the gratification and information of his cousin. He was ever watchful of opportunities to furnish new views of Real Life and character to Tallyho, and who never failed to profit by his observations upon Men and manners: for Tom, notwithstanding the gaiety of his disposition, was an acute and discerning companion, who having mingled in all ranks and degrees of Society, was able to associate himself with the high or the low, as circumstances might require, and to form tolerably accurate estimates of those by whom he was surrounded.
It was, therefore, with his usual view to the accomplishment of his cousin as a votary of Real Life in London, that he had proposed a visit to a fancy dress Ball at Almack's, and preparations had accordingly been made between them.
“A Fancy dress Ball,” said Tom, in order to give his cousin an idea of the entertainment he was to partake, “bears some similitude to a Masquerade, with two important exceptions: first, Masks are not general; and second, [148] No practical Jokes are expected or admitted. Dress however, is left wholly to the taste or inclination of the visitors, and the amusements consist principally of dancing and cards. The Rooms are of the most splendid description, and the company generally of the first order; combining all that is elegant and fashionable in what is termed the higher ranks of society,—'Tis said
 Page148 Almacks 
“If once to Almacks you belong,
Like monarchs you can do no wrong.
But banish'd thence on Wednesday night,
By Jove you can do nothing right.
I hear (perhaps the story false is,)
From Almacks, that he never waltzes
With Lady Anne or Lady Biddy,
Twirling till he's in Love, or giddy.
The girl a pigmy, he a giant,
His cravat stiff, her corset pliant.
There, while some jaded couple stops,
The rest go round like humming tops.
Each in the circle with its neighbour
Sharing alternate rest and labour;
While many a gentle chaperon
As the fair Dervises spin on,
Sighs with regret that she was courted,
Ere this new fashion was imported.
Ere the dull minuet step had vanished,           .
With jigs and country scrapers banished.
 
But —— whose energy relaxes
No more revolves upon his axis,
As sounds of cymbal and of drum
Deep clanging from the orch'tra come,
And round him moves in radiance bright
Some beauteous beaming sattelite.
Nor ventures as the night advances,
On a new partner in French dances,
Nor his high destiny fulfilling
Through all the mazes of quadrilling,
Holds, lest the figure should be hard
Close to his nose a printed card,
Which for their special use invented,
To beaus on entrance is presented.
A strange device one must allow,
But useful as it tells them how
To foot it in their proper places,
Much better than their partners faces.
 
Mark how the married and the single,
In yon gay groupes delighted mingle:
Midst diamonds blazing, tapers beaming,
Midst Georges, Stars, and Crosses gleaming.
We gaze on beauty, catch the sound
Of music, and of mirth around.
And discord feels her empire ended
At Almacks—or at least suspended.”
 
“Zounds,” said Dashall, “I am happy to see the Rooms so well attended this evening, and particularly to find Mr. Maitland and his two lovely sisters. Do you observe,” continued he, “that Gentleman in Regimentals on the opposite side?”
“I do, and is he in the Army?” enquired Bob “No,” replied Tom, “that is only an assumed character for the Evening, but I must introduce you to them, though the Ladies are considered to be sharp shooters with their eyes, therefore it will be necessary for you to be on your guard.”
“I've heard that by a single glance
Strange witchery is sometimes done,
And only by a look askance,
Ladies have many a lover won.”
 
The elegant and tasteful illuminations of the Room, the sprightly sound of the music by a well selected band, and the gay movements of the well dressed circles, were attractive in the mind of Tallyho, and alternately rivetted his attention, while his cousin was as frequently addressed and congratulated by his friends.
“My Dear Tom,” said Maitland, who was lounging round the Room with his two sisters, and who seemed to consider himself the rose of the party by the affected levity of a military character, “I am glad to see you—'pon Honor—just going to make up a quadrille—know you are a good dancer—list you in my Corps with Misa Maitland's permission—but can't be denied 'pon Honor.”
“That is very gallant, truly,” replied a lovely and interesting girl, his eldest sister. “With my permission, and yet he won't be denied.”
“If Miss Maitland were to command,” said the Hon. Tom Dashall, “denial were impossible, disobedience were disgrace and dishonor.”—bowing politely to the Ladies.
“Vastly pretty indeed Mr. Dashall, and to speak the truth I am very glad to find you here; for you know my brother is but a nobody, except when he shews himself off in Regimentals:” replied Miss Maitland.
[150] “Aye, and we want somebody to talk to,” continued her sister.
“'Pon my word, this is strange ill usage,” said Maitland.-“I shall desert.”
“Nay,” said Tom, “there is no need of that: but if you do, the ladies shall not be deserted while I have a hand at their service, and I believe I may venture to offer additional protection on the part of my Cousin.”
Bob nodded assent, and assured the party he was proud of the honor of the introduction; while Maitland eyed him from top to toe, and was heartily laughed at by his sisters, which not a little mortified him.
“If that's the case,” said he, taking out his quizzing-glass, and staring each of them in the face in succession, “why I've nothing more to say upon it, so come along, I am anxious for a dance.” The music just at the moment striking off, a Quadrille was formed, but the younger sister having declined dancing, Bob, who had no great inclination to “trip it on the light fantastic toe,” had a good opportunity of following her example, and during the dance they amused themselves with observations on the dresses and manners of the company before them, in the course of which he discovered that Maitland was something of the fashionable insipid, and not very high in the general estimation of the Ladies, and the contrast between the easy and graceful movements of the Hon. Tom Dashall, with those of Maitland braced up in military uniform, and dancing with the stiffness of a Halbert, afforded them high amusement, it brought to Tallyho's recollection a French Dancing Master in the country, who, upon the occasion of his annual Ball, perceiving a gentleman and lady in person and figure perfectly contrasted, the latter being short and stout, and the former tall and thin, addressed the Gentleman in the following complimentary stile, as well as his broken English would admit, “Ma dear sare—bien obligé—ah! ma goot sare—you vill do me the honneur to lead off de next dance—you do dance as de Poker, and your Lady she do dance as de Butter fierke”—(meaning a butter firkin.) The allusions were exactly in point, and the company within hearing, did not suffer the sarcasm to escape unnoticed. How far the observations were well timed by the dancing master, or well received by the loving couple, is not our business here to enquire.
[151] Miss Caroline Maitland was about 20 years of age, of a most prepossessing and engaging form, fond of dress and full of vivacity with no mean conception of her own wit or captivating powers, her attire was elegant and shewy, almost approaching to the gaudy, rather than t............