Mulch had left the stolen LEP shuttle at the theme park gate. It had been a simple matter for Butler to disable the park’s cameras and remove a half-rotted section from the hemisphere’s roof in order to effect the rescue.

When they got back to the shuttle, Holly powered up the engines and ran a systems check.

‘What on earth were you doing, Mulch?“ she asked, amazed by the readings the computer was displaying. ”The computer says you came all the way down here in first gear.“

‘There are gears?“ said the dwarf. ”I thought this crate was automatic.“

‘Some jockeys prefer gears. Old-fashioned, I know, but more control around the bends. And another thing, you didn’t have to do that gas thing on the rope. There are plenty of stun grenades in the weapons locker.“

‘This thing has a locker too? Gears and lockers. Well, I never.“

Butler was giving Artemis a field physical.

‘You seem all right,“ he said, placing a massive palm over Artemis’s chest. ”Holly fixed up your ribs, I see.“

Artemis was in a bit of a daze. Now that he was out of immediate danger, the day’s events were catching up to him. How many times could one person cheat death in twenty-four hours? Surely his odds were getting shorter.

‘Tell me, Butler,“ he whispered so the others wouldn’t hear, ”is it all true? Or is it a hallucination?“ Even as the words left his lips, Artemis realized that it was an impossible question. If this was all a hallucination, then his bodyguard was a dream, too.

‘I turned down gold, Butler,“ continued Artemis, still unable to accept his own grand gesture.

‘Me. I turned down gold.“

Butler smiled, much more the smile of a friend than a bodyguard. “That doesn’t surprise me one bit. You were becoming quite charitable before the mind wipe.”

Artemis frowned. “Of course you would say that, if you were part of the hallucination.”

Mulch was eavesdropping on the conversation and couldn’t resist a comment. “Didn’t you smell what I shot those trolls with? You think you could hallucinate that, Mud Boy?”

Holly started the engines. “Hold on back there,” she called over her shoulder. “It’s time to go.

The sensors picked up some shuttles sweeping local chutes. The authorities are looking for us.

I need to get us somewhere off the charts.“

Holly teased the throttle and lifted them smoothly from the ground. If the shuttle had not had portholes, the passengers might not have noticed the takeoff.

Butler elbowed Mulch. “Did you see that?

That’s a takeoff. I hope you learned something.“

The dwarf was highly offended. “What do I have to do to get a bit of respect around here? You are all alive because of me, and all I get is abuse.”

Butler laughed. “Okay, little friend. I apologize. We owe you our lives, and I, for one, will never forget it.”

Artemis followed this interaction curiously. “I would deduce that you remember everything, Butler.

If, for a moment, I accept this situation as reality, then your memory must have been stimulated. Did I, perhaps, leave something behind?“

Butler pulled the laser disk from his pocket.

‘Oh yes, Artemis. There was a message on this disk for me. You left yourself a message, too.“

Artemis took the disk. “At last,” he said.

‘Some intelligent conversation.“

Artemis found a small bathroom at the rear of the shuttle. The in-door toilet itself was only to be used in an emergency, and the seat was made from a spongy material which Mulch had assured him would break down any waste as it passed through. Artemis decided he would test the filter at another time, and sat on a small ledge by the porthole.

There was a plasma screen on the wall, presumably for in-restroom entertainment. All he had to do was slip the computer disk into the drive below the screen, and his fairy memories would be returned to him. A whole new world. An old one.

Artemis spun the disk between his thumb and forefinger.

Psychologically speaking, if he loaded this disk it meant that some part of him accepted the truth of all this. Putting the disk in the slot could plunge him deeper into some kind of psychotic episode. Not putting it in could condemn the world to a war between species. The fairy and human worlds would collide.

What would father do?

Artemis asked himself.

He loaded the disk.

Two files appeared on the desktop, marked with animated 3-D GIF’S, something the fairy system had obviously added on. Both were tagged with the file names in English and the fairy language.

Artemis selected his own file by touching the plasma screen’s transparent covering. The file glowed orange, then expanded to fill this e screen. Artemis saw himself in Fowl Manor, sitting at his desk in the study.

‘Greetings,“ said the screen Artemis. ”How nice for you to see me. Doubtless, this will be the first intelligent conversation you have had for some time.“

The real Artemis smiled. “Correct,” he replied.

‘I paused for a second there,“ continued the screen Artemis. ”To give you a chance to respond, thus qualifying this as a conversation. There will be no more pausing, as time is limited. Captain Holly Short is downstairs being distracted by Juliet, but doubtless she will check on me soon.

We depart for Chicago presently to deal with Mr.

Jon Spiro, who has stolen something from me. The price of fairy assistance in this matter is a mind wipe. All memories of the People will be erased forever, unless I leave a message for my future self, thus prompting recall. This is that message. The following video footage contains specific details of my involvement with the Fairy People. I hope this information will get those brain cell pathways sparking again.“

Artemis rubbed his forehead. The vague mysterious flashes persisted. It seemed as though his brain was ready to rebuild those pathways. All he needed was the right stimulus.

‘In conclusion,“ said the screen Artemis. ”I would like to wish you, myself, the best of luck. And welcome back.“

The next hour passed in a blur. Images flashed from the screen, adhering to empty spaces in Artemis’s brain. Each memory felt right the instant Artemis processed it.

Of course, he thought. This explains everything. I had the mirrored contact lenses made so I could lie to the fairies and hide the existence of this journal. I fixed Mulch Diggums’s search warrant so that he could return the disk to me.

Butler looks older because he is older; the fairy healing in London saved his life, but cost him fifteen years.

The memories were not all proud ones. I kidnapped Captain Short. I imprisoned Holly. How could I have done that?

He could not deny it any longer. This was all true. Everything that his eyes had seen was real. The fairies existed and his life had been intertwined with theirs for more than two years. A million images sprouted in his consciousness, rebuilding electric bridges in his brain. They strobed behind his eyes in a confusing display of color and wonder. A lesser mind than Artemis’s could have been utterly exhausted, but the Irish boy was exhilarated.

I know it all now, he thought. I beat Koboi before, and I will do it again. This determination was fuelled by sadness. Commander Root is gone. Koboi took him from his People.

Artemis had known this earlier, but now it meant something.

There was one other thought, more persistent than the rest.

It crashed into his mind like a tsunami.

I have friends? thought Artemis Fowl the Second.

I have friends.

Artemis emerged from the bathroom a different person. Physically, he was still battered, bruised, and exhausted, but emotionally he felt prepared for everything that lay ahead. If a body language analyst had studied him at that moment, they would have observed his relaxed shoulders and open palms, and would have concluded that this was, psychologically speaking, a more welcoming and trustworthy individual than the one who had entered the bathroom an hour since.

The shuttle was parked in a secondary chute off the beaten track, and the occupants were at the mess table. A selection of LEP field ration packs had been torn open and devoured. The biggest pile of foil packs was stacked in front of Mulch Diggums.

Mulch glanced at Artemis and noticed the change immediately. “About time you got your head in order,” grunted Mulch, struggling from his chair.

‘I need to get into that bathroom urgently.“

‘Nice to see you too, Mulch,“ said Artemis, stepping aside to allow the dwarf past.

Holly froze, a sachet of juice halfway to her mouth. “You remember him?”

Artemis smiled. “Of course, Holly. We have known each other for more than two years.”

Holly jumped from her chair and clasped Artemis by the shoulders. “Artemis. It’s great to see the real you. The gods know we need Artemis Fowl right now.”

‘Well, he’s here and ready for duty, Captain.“

‘Do you remember everything?“

‘Yes. I do. And first of all, let me apologize for that consultant business. That was very rude. Please forgive me.“

‘But what made you remember?“ asked the elf.

‘Don’t tell me a visit to the bathroom jogged your memory.“

‘Not exactly.“ Artemis held up the computer disk. ”I gave this to Mulch. It is my video diary. He was supposed to return it to me upon his release from prison.“

Holly shook her head. “That’s not possible.

Mulch was searched by experts. The only thing you gave him was the gold medallion.“

Artemis angled the disk so it caught the light.

‘Of course“ groaned Holly, slapping her forehead. “You passed off that disk as the gold medallion. Very clever.”

Artemis shrugged. “Genius, actually. It seems merely clever in hindsight, but the original idea was pure genius,”

Holly cocked her head. “Genius. Of course. Believe it or not I actually missed that smug grin.”

Artemis took a breath. “I am so sorry about Julius. I know our relationship was a rocky one, but I had nothing but respect and admiration for the commander.”

Holly wiped her eyes with the heels of her hands.

She said nothing, just nodded. If Artemis needed another reason to go after Opal Koboi, the sight of the elfin captain so disturbed was it.

Butler ate the contents of a field ration pack in one mouthful. “Now that we’re all reacquainted, we should try to track Opal Koboi down. It’s a big world.”

Artemis waved his fingers dismissively. “No need. I know exactly where our would-be murderer is. Like all megalomaniacs, she has a tendency to show off.” He crossed to a plastic computer keyboard on the wall and called up a map of Europe.

‘I see your Gnommish has come ............