We’ve all heard the official explanation for the tragic events surrounding the Zito Probe investigation. The LEP’s statement contained little in the way of concrete detail, preferring to fudge the facts and question the decisions of a certain female officer.

I know for an absolute fact that the officer in question, Captain Holly Short, behaved in an exemplary manner, and if it had not been for her skill as a field operative, many more lives would have been lost. Instead of scapegoating Captain Short, the Lower Elements Police should give her a medal.

Humans are at the center of this particular case.

Most humans aren’t smart enough to find the leg holes in their trousers, but there are certain Mud Men clever enough to make me nervous. If they discover the existence of an underground fairy city, they will certainly do their best to exploit the residents. Most men would be no match for superior fairy technology, but there are some humans who are almost smart enough to pass as fairies. One human in particular. I think we all know who I’m talking about.

In fairy history only one human has bested us. And it really sticks in my hoof that this particular human is little more than a boy. Artemis Fowl, the Irish criminal mastermind.

Little Arty led the LEP in a merry dance across the continents, until finally, they used fairy technology to wipe the knowledge of our existence from his mind.

But even as the gifted centaur Foaly pressed the mind-wipe button, he wondered if the Fairy People were being fooled again. Had the Irish boy left something behind to make himself remember? Of course he had, as we were all to find out later.

Artemis Fowl does play a significant role in the following events, but for once he was not trying to steal from the People, as he had completely forgotten we existed. No, the mastermind behind this episode is actually a fairy.

So, who is involved in this tragic tale of two worlds? Who are the main fairy players? Obviously, Foaly is the real hero of the piece. Without his innovations, the LEP would soon be beating the Mud Men back from our doors. He is the unsung hero who solves riddles of the ages, while the Reconnaissance and Retrieval teams swan about aboveground taking all the glory.

Then there’s Captain Holly Short, the officer whose reputation is under fire. Holly is one of the LEP’S best and brightest. A natural- born pilot with a gift for improvisation in the field.

She’s not the best at taking orders, a trait that has landed her in trouble on more than one occasion. Holly was the fairy at the center of all the Artemis Fowl incidents. The pair had almost become friends, when the Council ordered the LEP to mind-wipe Artemis, and just when he was becoming a nice Mud Boy, too.

As we all know, Commander Julius Root had a role in the proceedings. The youngest-ever full commander in the LEP.

An elf who had steered the People through many a crisis. Not the easiest fairy to get along with, but sometimes the best leaders do not make the best friends.

I suppose Mulch Diggums deserves mention.

Until recently, Mulch was imprisoned, but he had once again managed to wriggle his way out. This kleptomaniac, flatulent dwarf has played a reluctant part in many of the Fowl adventures, hut Holly was glad to have his help on this mission. If not for Mulch and his bodily functions, things could have turned out a lot worse than they did. And they turned out badly enough.

At the very center of this case lies Opal Koboi, the pixie who bankrolled the goblin gang’s attempted takeover of Haven City.

Opal had been facing a lifetime behind laser bars.

That is, if she ever recovered from the coma that had claimed the pixie when Holly Short foiled her plan.

For almost a year, Opal Koboi had languished in the padded- cell wing of the J. Argon Clinic, showing no response to the medical warlocks who tried to revive her. In all that time, she spoke not a single word, ate not a mouthful of food, and exhibited no response to stimuli. At first the authorities were suspicious. It is an act! they declared. Koboi is faking catatonia to avoid prosecution. But as the months rolled by, even the most skeptical were convinced. No one could pretend to be in a coma for almost a year. Surely not. A fairy would have to be totally obsessed…