Sent to watch the French flotilla off Boulogne—Monotonous duty—Return to Sheerness to refit—Story of Billy Culmer—More cruising off Boulogne—Return to England.

On the ninth day after joining, we sailed to cruise off Boulogne. The vessel I now commanded was a brig sloop of fourteen 24-pounders, the ship’s company by no means a bad set, and in the course of the cruise I had the satisfaction of seeing them alert, clean and obedient. This was in a great measure owing to the officers, who, when supported, were firm, discriminating and encouraging. The consequence was that during the time I commanded her there was only one desertion in eighteen months, and the cat did not see daylight once in three months. I found off Boulogne another cruiser watching the French privateers and Bonaparte’s boast—the flotilla. The captain of her was a Job’s comforter. He told me he was both sick and sorry to be on such a wear-and-tear, monotonous, do-nothing station, that he had been out two months without effecting anything, that he had frequently had the enemy’s privateers under his guns, but that the run was so short, they were always sure of escaping. [pg 281]“One morning,” said he, “about five months ago, I had got within musket-shot of one of those vagabonds, and had been sure of him, when a shell fired from Cape Grisnez fell directly down the main hatchway, bedded in one of the water-casks, and shortly after exploded, without, fortunately, doing more mischief than destroying a few more casks and splintering the beams and deck without wounding a man. I was in consequence reluctantly obliged to give up the chase, but not before I had taken ample revenge. In tacking I gave her all the larboard broadside, and not a vestige of her was to be seen: but,” continued he, “I hear of their taking prizes; but where the devil do they carry them to?” “Not into Boulogne or Calais,” replied I. “Havre and Cherbourg are the ports to sell them in.” “Then why,” said he, “do they keep so many of us on this station and so few to the westward?” “I presume it is,” I replied, “because this being the narrowest part of the Channel, there is more risk of our vessels being captured, and you know all the old women, with the Mayor and Aldermen, would petition the Admiralty to have the fleet back again to watch that frightful bugbear the half-rotten flotilla, which sometimes prevents them from taking their night’s rest. And it is very probable that, was this station neglected, our vessels would be cut out from the Downs.” “I never dreamed of that,” answered he. “It’s all right, and if I can only take six of their privateers, or about [pg 282]twenty of their flotilla, I will not say a word more.”

Painting of H.M.S. Apelles.
H.M.S. APELLES.

I remained out nearly three months, watching the flotilla and the privateers. We sometimes anchored just beyond range of their shells, and frequently when the wind was light hauled the trawl, and were richly rewarded by a quantity of fine fish. I was at length relieved by another cruiser, and again anchored in the Downs. We were a fortnight refitting, during which time I dined several times at the admiral’s table, where I had the pleasure of meeting Sir R. Strachan, Sir P. Durham, and several other distinguished officers. One day, after dinner, the characters of several eccentric officers were the subject of conversation.

“I make no doubt,” said a veteran captain, “that most of the present company recollect a man by the name of Billy Culmer, a distant relation of Lord Hood’s. He was a short time one of my lieutenants, and was between thirty and forty years of age before he obtained his commission. The next time I dined with Lord Hood, who was then one of the Admirals in the Channel Fleet, I was determined to request his lordship to give me a brief outline of his history, which was nearly this. Shall I proceed, Lady Campbell?” “Oh, by all means, Captain M.”

“‘The Culmers were distantly related to me by marriage,’ said his lordship. ‘Billy, as he was always called, was sent to me when I hoisted my [pg 283]pendant as master and commander. He unfortunately had lost an eye when a boy in one of his freaks, for they could do nothing with him at home. When he came on board I was not prepossessed in his favour; his manners were rough and bearish, although he had some redeeming qualities, for he was straightforward and frank. After being with me about two years, he said he was tired of being a midshipman, and requested me to obtain his discharge into the merchant service. I remonstrated with him to no purpose. To prevent his deserting, which he declared he would do, I procured his discharge, and he entered on board a West India ship going to Jamaica. I had lost sight of this extraordinary being for more than eight years,’ continued his lordship, ‘when, as I was standing on the platform at Portsmouth, waiting for a boat from the frigate I commanded, I was much surprised to see Billy Culmer, in a dirty sailor’s dress, a few yards from me. He perceived me, and pulled off his hat. “Hulloa!” said I, “Billy; where have you come from? I understood you were dead.” “Not so hard up as that, sir,” replied he. “I am d——d.” “Explain yourself,” said I. “Why,” said he, “I am d——d in the King’s service, for I shall never be able to enter it again, in consequence of my folly in requesting you to get me discharged.” “I probably may have interest enough, Billy, to get you once more on the quarter-deck if you will promise me faithfully to remain steady.” “I promise you solemnly I [pg 284]will,” replied he. “Then meet me at the admiral’s office to-morrow at ten o’clock,” returned I. “And I suppose, from your appearance, you are pretty well aground. Here is something that will keep your body and soul together.” He made a leg and took his departure.’ But I am afraid, Lady Campbell, you have had enough of this rigmarole story, for it is rather a long one, and to those who know nothing of the man it may not be an interesting one.” “Why, Captain M.,” said Lady Campbell, “as the weather is disagreeable, and we do not intend to take a drive this evening, we may as well hear about Billy Culmer as anybody else. Do you not think so, Admiral?” The admiral, who appeared more inclined for a nap than to listen to a long-spun yarn, I verily believe, wished the narrator and the subject of his narration at the masthead together. However, he nodded assent, and the story went on.

“‘On speaking to the admiral, Billy was again under my command,’ resumed his lordship, ‘and was appointed mate of the hold. When I was promoted to my flag, Billy and I parted company, for he had followed me steadily from the frigate to a ship of the line. As soon as he had served his six years, I sent for him and told him he must go to London to pass his examination. “You must excuse me, my lord,” was his answer; “I would rather remain the oldest midshipman than the youngest lieutenant,” and he persisted in this whim for more than three years. At the end of that [pg 285]period the ship he belonged to arrived at Spithead, and he came on board me to pay his respects. “Well............