IN the first three letters, my father expressed his concern for my silence and asked the reason for it. In the last, he made it clear that he had beeninformed of my changed way of life, and announced his arrival in the very near future.

I have always felt great respect and a genuine affection for my father. So I wrote back saying that the reason for my silence was that I had been away travelling for a while, and I asked him to let me know on which day he proposed to arrive so that I could be there to meet him.

I gave my servant my country address and left orders that he was to bring the first letter that came postmarked C. Then I set off again immediately for Bougival.

Marguerite was waiting for me at the garden gate.

Her look was anxious. She threw her arms around my neck and could not stop herself asking:

'Did you see Prudence?'

'No.'

'Why did you stay so long in Paris?'

'I found some letters from my father which I had to answer.'

A few moments after this, Nanine came in. She was out of breath. Marguerite stood up, went over and spoke to her softly.

When Nanine had gone, Marguerite sat down beside me once more and, taking my hand, said:

'Why did you deceive me? You went to Prudence's, didn't you?'

'Who told you?'

'Nanine.'

'And who told her?'

'She followed you.'

'So you told her to follow me?'

'Yes. I thought there must have been a very good reason to make you go up to Paris like that. You've not left my side for four months. I was afraid that something awful had happened or that perhaps you were going to see another woman.'

'Silly girl!'

'My mind's easy now. I know what you did, but I still don't know what you were told.'

I showed Marguerite my father's letters.

'That's not what I asked. What I'd like to know is why you called on Prudence.'

'To see her.'

'You're lying, my dear.'

'All right then. I went to ask her if the horse was better, and if she'd finished with your shawl and your jewels.'

Marguerite flushed, but said nothing.

'And, ' I continued, 'I found out to what use you'd put the horses, shawls and diamonds.'

'And you're angry with me?'

'I'm angry with you for not thinking of asking me for whatever you needed.'

'In affairs like ours, as long as the woman has something of her self- respect left, she must shoulder any number of sacrifices herself rather than ask her lover for money and in so doing taint her love with mercenary motives. You love me, I know you do, but you have no idea just how weak are the ties that bind the love men have for girls like me. Who knows? Perhaps one day, when you were short of money or feeling annoyed, you'd have come round to thinking that our affair was a carefully worked- out plot! Prudence talks too much. I didn't need those horses! I've saved myself money by selling them: I can manage without, and now I don't have to spend anything on them. As long as you love me, that's all I ask. And you can love me just as much without horses and shawls and diamonds.'

She said all this in so natural a tone of voice that there were tears in my eyes as I listened.

'But, my sweet Marguerite, ' I answered, lovingly pressing my mistress's hands in mine, 'you must have known that some day I'd find out about your sacrifice, and that the day I did find out, I'd never have allowed it.'

'And why not?'

'Because, dearest girl, I do not intend that the affection you truly feel for me should leave you the poorer by even a single piece of jewelry. Like you, I don't ever want you to think, when things are hard or you're feeling angry, that such bad times would never have happened if you'd lived with somebody else. Nor can I stand the thought that you should ever regret living with me, even for a moment. A few days from now, your horses, your diamonds and your shawls will be returned to you. You need them as much as life needs air. It may be ridiculous, but I'd rather have you lavish than frugal.'

'Which is to say you don't love me any more.'

'Don't be silly!'

'If you really loved me, you'd let me love you in my own way. But you persist in thinking of me as though I'm some girl who can't live without all this luxury, someone you still think you have to pay. You are ashamed to accept proof that I love you. In your heart, you're thinking of leaving me some day, and you're being very careful to put your scruples beyond suspicion. You're quite right, my dear, but I had expected better.'

And Marguerite stirred, as though she were about to get up. I held her back a moment, saying:

'I want you to be happy. I don't want there to be anything that you can reproach me for. That's all.'

'Even so, we shall go our separate ways!'

'Why, Marguerite? Who can separate us?' I exclaimed.

'You. You won't take me into your confidence by saying exactly where you stand, and you're vain enough to want to keep me in my place. You want to keep me in the luxury to which I was accustomed, but you also want to maintain the moral distance between us. You're the one. You don't consider that my feelings are sufficiently disinterested to want to share what money you have with me so that we could live happily together. No, you'd sooner ruin yourself. A slave to a stupid prejudice, that's what you are. Do you really think I compare a carriage and bits of jewelry with your love? Do you imagine I think happiness consists of those empty pleasures which people make do with when they've got nothing to love, but which seem so unimportant when they have? You'll pay my debts, you'll sign away all yo............