It is easy to discover such ugly facts as have just been disclosed. But love and gratitude are certainly more frequent. In many cases we see a picture of sweet and gentle family life, or of tender and affectionate regard. It is delightful to meet in modern wills, as one often may, expressions of passionate devotion and admiration for a wife or husband. And in old wills we have many a charming picture suggested. Sir Hugh Cholmley, a prominent figure in Whitby in the seventeenth century, gives “to my dear brother, Sir Henry Cholmley, my bay bald Barbary mare, called Spanker,” “to my dear daughter-in-law, wife to my son William Cholmley, the green cloth hangings wrought with needlework, which I desire her to esteem because they were wrought by my dear wife and her servants when we were first housekeepers,” and “to my dear sister, Mrs. Jane Twysden, wife to my brother Serjeant Twysden, a little gold pot of ten pounds price, with hearty thanks and acknowledgments for her many favours and kindnesses to myself and children.” [Pg 160]
John Pybus, who died in June, 1789, appears to have had a felicitous family life, and though the language is the language of the eighteenth century, the feeling would seem to be sincere and deep. “I also give and bequeath unto my said wife the sum of £200, ... hereby declaring, as in justice I think due to her, the very high opinion I entertain of her temper and disposition, and how much I think myself obliged to her for the very dutiful tender and affectionate conduct she has ever given proofs of both as a wife and mother, during the whole course of our matrimonial connection now nearly thirty-four years.” It is an echo of the words of Robert Sanderson, Bishop of Lincoln, who died on January 29, 1662, leaving his residuary estate “to my very loving and dearly beloved wife, with whom I have lived almost three and forty years in perfect amity, and with much comfort.” Philip Doddridge, D.D., a testator who had the knack of making his will interesting, has a special paragraph about his wife: “And I hereby recommend her to the divine supporting presence and care during the short separation which her great love to me will, I fear, render too painful to her, praying earnestly that God may succeed her pious care in the education of our dear children that they may be happy for time and for eternity.” His tender love is seen also in the superscription to a letter found among his MSS. “To my trusty and well beloved Mrs. Mercy Doddridge, the [Pg 161] dearest of all dears, the wisest of all my earthly councillors, and of all my governours the most potent, yet the most gentle and moderate” (1741).
The will of the Rt. Hon. Mary Countess Dowager of De la Warr affords another example of affection from the eighteenth century. It is written (as will be seen) in the form of a letter to her son, in the course of which she says: “The silver cup given by your grandfather to my dear and most lamented son William Lord De la Warr I bequeath to you with my blessing, which no son was ever more entitled to receive from a fond mother than yourself; may it prove propitious to you, and that every affectionate attention shown to me may be returned to you by your children, that you may have the happiness and satisfaction of knowing how much comfort your behaviour administered to me who must long since have sunk under the weight of such repeated misfortunes, had they not been alleviated by the kindnesses of you and my dearest Georgiana.”
Sarah Wills of Bristol, whose will is dated October 30, 1797, writes with similar intimacy of feeling. “It is with a deep sense of gratitude I acknowledge the kindness of my dear son, and happy should I think myself if I had it in my power to reward him to my utmost wish, but I trust that God who have so wonderfully blest him will never forsake him, and also trust that he’ll never forsake the God of his mercies; He who have been the guide of his youth, may He be the support of his more advanced years. And may he ever show the utmost kindness to his truly [Pg 162] affectionate sister, for such she is: show her all tenderness, and as you are so blest in worldly goods the little matter I call mine can’t be of much use to you, but to her it is, and she have been a tender child to me. If there is any little article that my beloved son likes, have it. I only say again I feel gratitude for your great goodness to me, and it melts me to think of it, and happy should I think myself to make you an ample return; but accept of my sincerest thanks, and be assured it is more blessed to give than receive, Your affectionate mother, S. Wills.”
As a final instance of family affection the following expression of gratitude, interesting in that the person eulogised was afterwards Archbishop of York, must not be overlooked. The testator, Major William Markham, died in 1771, and on the 21st of January, 1780, administration with the will was granted to his son, then William, Lord Archbishop of York. He says: “My reason for thus forming my will is founded upon a principle of gratitude to my eldest son, whose interest restored me when reduced to my majority in Major General Lascelles’ regiment. To the same interest I owe the liberty I had from His Majesty of selling my majority at the best advantage, without which liberty I could have never sold and consequently never have been master of said money, which I now gratefully return to him who in a manner gave it. The said William Markham’s interest brought me out of captivity to London, from [Pg 163] which time I am obliged to acknowledge I have entirely lived on him. I should be very remiss in not mentioning one remarkable instance of his generosity, which was when the Duke of Buccleugh asked Dr. Markham, then only a student in Christchurch, how he could serve him he instantly answered ‘by recommending my father Major Markham to His Majesty for a Lieutenant Colonelcy.’ But the greatest obligation I lie under to Dr. Markham is for his having made an ample provision for my two younger sons George and Enoch, whom I most heartily recommend to his further care and patronage, which I am fully persuaded is quite unnecessary to mention.”
The Archbishop who earned such gratitude from his father was buried in Westminster Abbey on November 11, 1807, aged eighty-nine, and a monument was raised to his memory by his grandchildren. He was a man of character, “a pompous and warm-tempered prelate, with a magnificent presence and almost martial bearing.” He is described by Walpole as “a pert, arrogant man,” and as “that warlike metropolitan Archbishop Turpin.” Bentham gives an earlier and equally curious portrait of him as head master of Westminster School. Bentham was at Westminster 1755 to 1760. “Our great glory was Dr. Markham; he was a tall, portly man, and ‘high he held his head.’ He married a Dutch woman who brought him a considerable fortune. He had a large quantity of classical knowledge. [Pg 164] His business was rather in courting ............