"Then you think, Milly, that\'s what I ought to do? You think I\'d better go and never come back again till I feel quite sure of myself?"
"I think so, Harry, I think so.... I think so.... And yet ... it\'s very hard not to see you for so long, Harry."[Pg 337]
"But I shall write to you every day, Milly, however long it may be; and if I conquer myself, why, then, Milly, I shall feel I can come back fit to marry you. I\'m not fit now, and unless I feel that I\'ve put myself straight with you and my uncle, I\'ll never come back again—never, never, never!"
Milly\'s lip trembled, but she only answered bravely, "That\'s well, Harry; for then you\'ll make all the more effort, and for my sake I\'m sure you\'ll conquer. But, Harry, I wish before you go you\'d tell me plainly what else it is that you\'ve been doing besides playing and losing your uncle\'s money."
"Oh, Milly, Milly, I can\'t—I mustn\'t. If I were to tell you that you could never again respect me—you could never love me."
Milly was a wise girl, and pressed him no further. After all, there are some things it is better for none of us to know about one another, and this thing was just one of them.
So Harry Walpole went away from Cheltenham, nobody knew whither, except Milly; not daring to confide the secret of his whereabouts even to his uncle, nor seeing that sole friend once more before he went, but going away that very night, on his own resources, to seek his own fortune as best he might in the great world of London. "Tell my uncle why I have gone," he said to Milly; "that it is in order to conquer myself; and tell him that I\'ll write to you constantly, and that you will let him know from time to time whether I am well and making progress."
It was a hard time for poor old Sir Thomas, no doubt, those four years that Harry was away from him, he knew not where, and he was left alone by himself in his dreary home; but he felt it was best so; he knew Harry was trying to conquer himself. How Harry lived or what he was doing he never heard; but once or twice Milly hinted[Pg 338] to him that Harry seemed sorely in want of money, and Sir Thomas gave her some to send him, and every time it was at once returned, with a very firm but gentle message from Harry to say that he was able, happily, to do without it, and would not further trouble his uncle. It was only from Milly that Sir Thomas could learn anything about his dear boy, and he saw her and asked her about him so often that he learned at last to love her like a daughter.
Four years rolled slowly away, and at the end of them Sir Thomas was one day sitting in his little library, somewhat disconsolate, and reflecting to himself that he ought to have somebody living with him at his time of life, when suddenly there came a ring and a knock that made him start with surprise and pleasure, for he recognized them at once as being Harry\'s. Next moment, the servant brought him a card, on which was engraved in small letters, "Dr. H. Walpole," and down in the left-hand corner, "Surrey Hospital."
Sir Thomas turned the card over and over with a momentary feeling of disappointment, for he had somehow fancied to himself that Harry had gone off covering himself with glory among Zulus or Afghans, and he couldn\'t help feeling that beside that romantic dream of soldierly rehabilitation a plain doctor\'s life was absurdly prosaic. Next moment, Harry himself was grasping his hand warmly, and prose and poetry were alike forgotten in that one vivid all-absorbing delight of his boy recovered.
As soon as the first flush of excitement was fairly over, and Harry had cried regretfully, "Why, uncle, how much older you\'re looking!" and Sir Thomas had exclaimed in his fatherly joy, "Why, Harry, my boy, what a fine fellow you\'ve turned out, God bless me!" Harry took a little bank bag of sovereigns from his coat pocket and laid it down, very red, upon the corner of the table. "These are yours, uncle," he said simply.[Pg 339]
Sir Thomas\'s first impulse was to say, "No, no, my boy; keep them, keep them, and let us forget all about it," but he checked himself just in time, for he saw that the best th............