It was night, and I thought I would stop on board all night, but the friends who gave me the letters to Manchester came on the ship to see me and had my luggage taken to their place. I was glad, as Mrs. Alstone was going to some friends. I sent word to my people where they would find me in the morning. My few relatives were by my side when I awoke in the morning, and seeing how happy they were I forgot my own sorrow. I knew that life had once more its depths that not even the nearest could sound. It would not bear thinking about. It was only to be borne. I felt I must work, although I did not think I would begin that day, but I did. Before I got out of the train at the Adelaide station the gentleman who had the management of the club at the port where I lived up to the time I went as stewardess came to me and said he was in trouble for the want of someone to help at a banquet at the Semaphore. He had been to Adelaide and could not find any skilful help. Would I come back with him, he said; and I did; and let my friends take care of my belongings. I had really done no work of that kind all the time I was away, and after three months on the rolling ship it was so strange to find everything firm under my foot. Both this gentleman and his dear wife were friends to me through after years.

So I began work the first day I came back, and I have had to stick to it ever since. Sometimes I have been in actual need of money. I had always lent a helping hand in the years gone by, and sometimes those I wanted to help did not seem to have the energy they might have had. What knowledge I had gained I have paid a high price for, and I must confess that the kindly appreciation that I have received from people of the highest culture has often given me joy. If I could not get the kind of place I wanted I determined to take anything to keep me going. A position as cook at the Adelaide Hospital was offered to me. A woman-cook could do the work then, and I went at good wages. I liked it all right, except that it was so depressing. I saw too much of sufferings, for I went all about the wards, and if anyone was brought in whom I knew, whether it was fever or anything else, when I could[Pg 113] get the chance I would go and see them. If I was caught by the doctors I would be severely reproved.

There were no indications that the broken pieces of my life as a wife would be mended. Still a castaway, I went and saw my husband. He did not want me. He lived with his aunt, and his cousin was there too. If a husband is one to protect you, to watch over and defend and love you; if such be a husband, then I have never known what it is to have one. For me there was only solitude and bitter anguish, and yet nobody must be made acquainted with the fact. I must put on a smiling face and go wherever I might so long as I did not come in where I was not wanted. I was not afraid of misery, but only of sin. I would not do anything wrong, and I wanted to know how to do right when others do me a wrong. I determined that I would try and get through life without reproach or any stain on my reputation, and make the most of what I knew. I had lessons on one thing and another. I liked to be dainty in my home and person and dress, as well as I could in every detail. I am fond, too, of being a good housekeeper. My employers spoilt me and often made a friend of me.

Some are here still who remember that I had the kind regard both of the doctors and the nurses, as well as of the patients at the Adelaide Hospital. They liked the way I did their food. It looked a big thing for me to take in hand; but it was not so heavy as some would think, there being three men in the kitchen to do all the cleaning. I had not a heavy thing to lift. The only drawback was that the floor were stone and so hard to stand on. The place has been much built upon since then, and is so changed in the manner of employment in the office. When I pass the place now all comes back to me so plain. In particular one night stands out. I always left a jet of gas burning in my room. On............