For I often found it blessed to be waiting upon, and waiting for God.  I often envied the felicity of those who could say, My God.—When I was a little indisposed in body I was much afraid I should die in the pit—this made me in a hurry to get out of it.  I think such a state is described by Isaiah—The captive exile hasteneth that he may be loosed, lest he should die in the pit, and that his bread should fail.  Here such a case is exactly set forth; and fast held we are—I felt it so—held by the chains of sin, the iron bars of unbelief, the curses of the Law, the fears of death, and the dread of future judgement.  Sometimes I got very cold and p. 21indifferent about it—then that text would make me tremble—Ephraim is joined to idols; let him alone!  This made me chuse my burden, for I was always afraid of ease, or losing my burden I knew not how.  Sometimes I got sweetly refreshed under the word; then my hope was busy, expecting greater things than those—at other times I got cut up, root and branch; this made me go away, groaning in spirit, yet obliged to go to the same place where I had been wounded, and there God generally healed me.  I felt great liberty at times, in reading some of Mr. Huntington’s Works, namely, the Letters to the late tried Mr. Jenkins—one Passage especially, which is rather too long to transcribe, was particularly blessed to me, in the first volume of the “Living Testimonies,” page 61—the latter part of the Sermons on “The Dimensions of Eternal Love,” and “The Law established by Faith.”  These were marrow and fatness to my soul; but after waiting, seeking, longing, desiring, fearing, desponding, and praying, the Lord descended to give me a clearer illumination of mind—it shone into my heart, lifted me up with joy, overcame me with love, made me cry, my Father! my God! my Beloved! my Portion! my All!—I wondered, I rejoiced, I wept, I was completely absorbed in lo............