Sharie brought a hobo to school for show-and-tell.

They stood side by side at the front of the room.

"This is a hobo," said Sharie. "I found him on the way to school."

"Ooh, how neat!" said Maurecia.

The hobo had long dirty hair and a scraggly beard. His shirt was covered with stains. His pants had lots of colorful patches. His coat was too big for him, but it wasn't as big as Sharie's coat.

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Sharie was a little girl, but she wore the biggest coat in all of Wayside School.

The hobo wore old black shoes that also looked like they were too big for him, but that might have been because he wasn't wearing any socks.

"Tell the class something about your hobo," said Mrs. Jewls.

"His name is Bob," said Sharie. "I heard him ask a lady for spare change. The lady told him to take a bath. I tried to give him a quarter, but he said he never took money from kids. He said he likes kids a lot. He said he was once a kid himself."

"Does anybody have any questions they'd like to ask Hobo Bob?" asked Mrs. Jewls.

All the children raised their hands.

The hobo looked around the room. "Yes, you," he said, pointing at Jason.

"When's the last time you took a bath?" asked Jason.

"I never take baths," said the hobo.

"Oh, wow," said Jason. "You're lucky!"

"What about a shower?" asked Myron.

"I just walk outside in the rain," said the hobo.

"When it rains, I have to go inside!" complained Myron.

"Where do you live?" asked Joe.

"All over," said Bob. "In the winter I jump on a southbound train and ride until it's warm enough

26

to jump off. In the summer I go north, where it's not too hot."

"How come you're not wearing any socks?" asked Leslie.

"I don't believe in socks," said Bob. "Yes, the boy in the green shirt."

"Were you really a kid once?" asked Todd.

"Yep," said Bob.

"Did you get in trouble a lot?" asked Todd.

"No, I never got in trouble," said Bob.

Todd smiled and nodded his head.

"Did you like to pull girls' pigtails?" asked Paul.

"Of course," said Bob. "Who doesn't?"

"Did you like ice cream?" asked Maurecia.

"I loved it," said Bob.

"What was your favorite subject?" asked Jenny.

"Spelling," said the hobo.

"Spelling!" exclaimed Jenny. "I hate spelling!"

"I once came in first place in a spelling bee, out of all the kids in my school," Bob said proudly.

"Well, how come you became a hobo?" asked Dameon. "I mean, if you're such a good speller?"

"I'm not sure," said Bob. "When you grow up, you're supposed to turn into something. Some kids turn into dentists. Others turn into bank presidents. I didn't turn into anything. So I became a hobo."

"Did you ever try to get a job?" asked Calvin.

"I tried," said Bob. "But nobody would hire me because I didn't wear socks."

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"So why didn't you just wear socks?" asked Eric Fry.

"I told you. I don't believe in socks. Yes, the girl with the cute front teeth."

Rondi lowered her hand. She was missing her two front teeth. "What do you eat?" she asked.

"Mulligan stew," said Bob. "My friends and I collect scraps of food all day, and then we cook it up in a big pot and share it. It's always different, but very tasty."

"Why is it called mulligan stew?" asked Stephen.

"There was once a hobo named Mulligan," said Bob. "He made the first mulligan stew."

"Was he a good cook?" asked Todd.

"No, he was eaten by cannibals."

"Yuck!" everyone said together, except for Dana, who was very confused. She thought Bob had said he was eaten by cannonballs.

Allison raised her hand. "Can't you just wear socks, even if you don't believe in them?" she asked.

"Socks!" Bob shouted so loud it scared everybody. "Is that all you kids ever talk about? Socks! Socks! Socks! Albert Einstein didn't wear any socks! Why should I?"

"Who's Albert Einstein?" asked Eric Ovens.

Mrs. Jewls answered that question. She said, "Albert Einstein was the smartest man who ever lived."

"Was he also a hobo?" asked D. J.

"No, he was a great scientist," said Mrs. Jewls.

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"Why didn't Albert Einstein wear socks?" asked Joy.

"Because socks make you stupid," said Bob.

"That's not true," said Mrs. Jewls. "Albert Einstein was just too busy thinking about big important things to remember to put on his socks."

"Maybe," said Bob. "But remember I told you I won the school spelling bee? Well, the day I won it, I forgot to wear socks. Think about it."

Everyone thought about it.

"So after that I never wore socks again," said Bob.

Mac raised his hand. "Once I could only find one of my socks," he said. "Man, I looked everywhere for it! Under the bed, in the bathroom. You'll never guess where I finally found it."

"In the refrigerator," said Bob.

Mac's mouth dropped open. "How'd you know?"

Bob shrugged. "Where else?"

Everybody had lots more questions for Hobo Bob, but Mrs. Jewls rang her cowbell. "Show-and-tell is over," she announced. "Let's all thank Bob."

"Thank you, Bob," everyone said together.

"You're welcome," he replied.

"Do you know the way out of the school?" asked Sharie.

"I'm not sure," said Bob.

"Just go straight down the stairs," said Sharie.

"Thank you," said Bob.

"But don't go in the basement," warned Sharie.

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"I won't," said Bob. He shook Sharie's hand, then waved good-bye to the rest of the class and headed out the door.

Everybody waved back. Sharie returned to her seat.

It was time for their weekly spelling test. "Everyone take out a piece of paper and a pencil," said Mrs. Jewls. "The first word is-"

"Wait a second!" called Calvin. "I'm not ready yet."

Mrs. Jewls waited while all the children took off their socks.