IT WAS SPRING BREAK IN FORKS AGAIN. WHEN I WOKE UP on Monday morning, I lay inbed for a few seconds absorbing that. Last spring break, I'd been hunted by a vampire, too. I hoped thiswasn't some kind of tradition forming.

　　Already I was falling into the pattern of things in La Push. I'd spent Sunday mostly on the beach, whileCharlie hung out with Billy at the Blacks' house. I was supposed to be with Jacob, but Jacob had otherthings to do, so I wandered alone, keeping the secret from Charlie.

　　When Jacob dropped in to check on me, he apologized for ditching me so much. He told me hisschedule wasn't always this crazy, but until Victoria was stopped, the wolves were on red alert.

　　When we walked along the beach now, he always held my hand.

　　This made me brood over what Jared had said, about Jacob involving his "girlfriend." I supposed that thatwas exactly what it looked like from the outside. As long as Jake and I knew how it really was, Ishouldn't let those kinds of assumptions bother me. And maybe they wouldn't, if I hadn't known thatJacob would have loved for things to be what they appeared. But his hand felt nice as it warmed mine,and I didn't protest.

　　I worked Tuesday afternoon—Jacob followed me on his bike to make sure I arrived safely—and Mikenoticed.

　　"Are you dating that kid from La Push? The sophomore?" He asked, poorly disguising the resentment inhis tone.

　　I shrugged. "Not in the technical sense of the word. I do spent most of my time with Jacob, though. He'smy best friend."Mike's eyes narrowed shrewdly. "Don't kid yourself, Bella. The guy's head over heels for you.""I know," I sighed. "Life is complicated.""And girls are cruel," Mike said under his breath.

　　I supposed that was an easy assumption to make, too.

　　That night, Sam and Emily joined Charlie and me for dessert at Billy's house. Emily brought a cake thatwould have won over a harder man than Charlie. I could see, as the conversation flowed naturallythrough a range of casual subjects, that any worries Charlie might have harbored about gangs in La Pushwere being dissolved.

　　Jake and I skipped out early, to get some privacy. We went out to his garage and sat in the Rabbit.

　　Jacob leaned his head back, his face drawn with exhaustion.

　　"You need some sleep, Jake." "I'll get around to it."He reached over and took my hand. His skin was blazing on mine.

　　"Is that one of those wolf things?" I asked him. "The heat, I mean.""Yeah. We run a little warmer than the normal people. About one-oh-eight, one-oh-nine. I never get coldanymore. I could stand like this"—he gestured to his bare torso—"in a snowstorm and it wouldn't botherme. The flakes would turn to rain where I stood.""And you all heal fast—that's a wolf thing, too?""Yeah, wanna see? It's pretty cool." His eyes flipped open and he grinned. He reached around me to theglove compartment and dug around for a minute. His hand came out with a pocketknife.

　　"No, I do not want to see!" I shouted as soon as I realized what he was thinking. "Put that away!"Jacob chuckled, but shoved the knife back where it belonged. "Fine. It's a good thing we heal, though.

　　You can't go see just any doctor when you're running a temperature that should mean you're dead.""No, I guess not." I thought about that for a minute. "… And being so big—that's part of it? Is that whyyou're all worried about Quil?""That and the fact that Quil's grandfather says the kid could fry an egg on his forehead." Jacob's faceturned hopeless. "It won't be long now. There's no exact age… it just builds and builds and thensuddenly—" He broke off, and it was a moment before he could speak again. "Sometimes, if you getreally upset or something, that can trigger it early. But I wasn't upset about anything—I was happy." Helaughed bitterly. "Because of you, mostly. That's why it didn't happen to me sooner. Instead it just kepton building up inside me—I was like a time bomb. You know what set me off? I got back from thatmovie and Billy said I looked weird. That was all, but I just snapped. And then I—I exploded. I almostripped his face off—my own father!" He shuddered, and his face paled.

　　"Is it really bad, Jake?" I asked anxiously, wishing I had some way to help him. "Are you miserable?""No, I'm not miserable," he told me. "Not anymore. Not now that you know. That was hard, before." Heleaned over so that his cheek was resting on top of my head.

　　He was quiet for a moment, and I wondered what he was thinking about. Maybe I didn't want to know.

　　"What's the hardest part?" I whispered, still wishing I could help.

　　"The hardest part is feeling… out of control," he said slowly. "Feeling like I can't be sure of myself—likemaybe you shouldn't be around me, like maybe nobody should. Like I'm a monster who might hurtsomebody. You've seen Emily. Sam lost control of his temper for just one second… and she wasstanding too close. And now there's nothing he can ever do to put it right again. I hear his thoughts—Iknow what that feels like…"Who wants to be a nightmare, a monster?

　　"And then, the way it comes so easily to me, the way I'm better at it than the rest of them—does thatmake me even less human than Enbry or Sam? Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm losing myself.""Is it hard? To find yourself again?""At first," he said. "It takes some practice to phase back and forth. But it's easier tor me." "Why?" I wondered.

　　"Because Ephraim Black was my father's grandfather, and Quil Ateara was my mother's grandfather.""Quil?" I asked in confusion.

　　"His great-grandfather," Jacob clarified. "The Quil you know is my second cousin.""But why does it matter who your great-grandfathers are?""Because Ephraim and Quil were in the last pack. Levi Uley was the third. It's in my blood on both sides.

　　I never had a chance. Like Quil doesn't have a chance."His expression was bleak.

　　"What's the very best part?" I asked, hoping to cheer him up.

　　"The best part," he said, suddenly smiling again, "is the speed.""Better than the motorcycles?"He nodded, enthusiastic. "There's no comparison.""How fast can you… ?""Run?" he finished my question. "Fast enough. What can I measure it by? We caught… what was hisname? Laurent? I imagine that means more to you than it would to someone else."It did mean something to me. I couldn't imagine that—the wolves running faster than a vampire. When theCullens ran, they all but turned invisible with speed.

　　"So, tell me something I don't know," he said. "Something about vampires. How did you stand it, beingaround them? Didn't it creep you out?""No," I said curtly.

　　My tone made him thoughtful for a moment.

　　"Say, why'd your bloodsucker kill that James, anyway?" he asked suddenly.

　　"James was trying to kill me—it was like a game for him. He lost. Do you remember last spring when Iwas in the hospital down in Phoenix?"Jacob sucked in a breath. "He got that close?""He got very, very close." I stroked my scar. Jacob noticed, because he held the hand I moved.

　　"What's that?" He traded hands, examining my right. "This is your funny scar, the cold one." He looked atit closer, with new eyes, and gasped.

　　"Yes, it's what you think it is," I said. "James bit me."His eyes bulged, and his face turned a strange, sallow color under the russet surface. He looked like hewas about to be sick.

　　"But if he bit you… ? Shouldn't you be… ?" He choked.

　　 "Edward saved me twice," I whispered. "He sucked the venom out—you know, like with a rattlesnake."I twitched as the pain lashed around the edges of the hole.

　　But I wasn't the only one twitching. I could feel Jacob's whole body trembling next to mine. Even the carshook.

　　"Careful, Jake. Easy. Ca in down.""Yeah," he panted. "Calm." He shook his head back and forth quickly. After a moment, only his handswere shaking.

　　"You okay?""Yeah, almost. Tell me something else. Give me something else to think about.""What do you want to know?""I don't know." He had his eyes closed, concentrating. "The extra stuff I guess. Did any of the otherCullens have… extra talents? Like the mind reading?"I hesitated a second. This felt like a question he would ask of his spy, not his friend. But what was thepoint of hiding what I knew? It didn't matter now, and it would help him control himself.

　　So I spoke quickly, the image of Emily's ruined face in my mind, and the hair rising on my arms. I couldn'timagine how the russet wolf would fit inside the Rabbit—Jacob would tear the whole garage apart if hechanged now.

　　"Jasper could… sort of control the emotions of the people around him. Not in a bad way, just to calmsomeone down, that kind of thing. It would probably help Paul a lot," I added, teasing weakly. "And thenAlice could see things that were going to happen. The future, you know, but not absolutely. The thingsshe saw would change when someone changed the path they were on…"Like how she'd seen me dying… and she'd seen me becoming one of them. Two things that had nothappened. And one that never would. My head started to spin—I couldn't seem to pull in enough oxygenfrom the air. No lungs.

　　Jacob was entirely in control now, very still beside me.

　　"Why do you do that?" he asked. He tugged lightly at one of my arms, which was bound around mychest, and then gave up when it wouldn't come loose easily. I hadn't even realized I'd moved them. "Youdo that when you're upset. Why?""It hurts to think about them," I whispered. "It's like I can't breathe… like I'm breaking into pieces…"Itwas bizarre how much I could tell Jacob now. We had no more secrets.

　　He smoothed my hair. "It's okay, Bella, it's okay. I won't bring it up again. I'm sorry.""I'm fine." I gasped. "Happens all the time. Not your fault.""We're a pretty messed-up pair, aren't we?" Jacob said. "Neither one of us can hold our shape togetherright.""Pathetic," I agreed, still breathless.

　　"At least we have each other," he said, clearly comforted by the thought.

　　 I was comforted, too. "At least there's that," I agreed.

　　And when we were together, it was fine. But Jacob had a horrible, dangerous job he felt compelled todo, and so I was often alone, stuck in La Push for safety, with nothing to do to keep my mind off any ofmy worries.

　　I felt awkward, always taking up space at Billy's. I did some studying for another Calculus test that wascoming up next week, but I could only look at math for so long. When I didn't have something obvious todo in my hands,I felt like I ought to be making conversation with Billy—the pressure of normal societal rules. But Billywasn't one for filling up the long silences, and so the awkwardness continued.

　　I tried hanging out at Emily's place Wednesday afternoon, for a change. At first it was kind of nice. Emilywas a cheerful person who never sat still. I drifted behind her while she flitted around her little house andyard, scrubbing at the spotless floor, pulling a tiny weed, fixing a broken hinge, tugging a string of woolthrough an ancient loom, and always cooking, too. She complained lightly about the increase in the boys'

　　appetites from all their extra running, but it was easy to see she didn't mind taking care of them. It wasn'thard to be with her—after all, we were both wolf girls now.

　　But Sam checked in after I'd been there for a few hours. I only stayed long enough to ascertain thatJacob was fine and there was no news, and then I had to escape. The aura of love and contentment thatsurrounded them was harder to take in concentrated doses, with no one else around to dilute it.

　　So that left me wandering the beach, pacing the length of the rocky crescent back and forth, again andagain.

　　Alone time wasn't good for me. Thanks to the new honesty with Jacob, I'd been talking and thinkingabout the Cullens way too much. No matter how I tried to distract myself—and I had plenty to think of: Iwas honestly and desperately worried about Jacob and his wolf-brothers, I was terrified for Charlie andthe others who thought they were hunting animals, I was getting in deeper and deeper with Jacob withoutever having consciously decided to progress in that direction and I didn't know what to do aboutit—none of these very real, very deserving of thought, very pressing concerns could take my mind off thepain in my chest for long. Eventually, I couldn't even walk anymore, because I couldn't breathe. I satdown on a patch of semidry rocks and curled up in a ball.

　　Jacob found me like that, and I could tell from his expression that he understood.

　　"Sorry," he said right away. He pulled me up from the ground and wrapped both arms around myshoulders. I hadn't realized that I was cold until then. His warmth made me shudder, but at least I couldbreathe with him there.

　　"I'm ruining your spring break," Jacob accused himself as we walked back up the beach.

　　"No, you're not. I didn't have any plans. I don't think I like spring breaks, anyway.""I'll take tomorrow morning off. The others can run without me. We'll do something fun."The word seemed out of place in my life right now, barely comprehensible, bizarre. "Fun?""Fun is exactly what you need. Hmm…" he gazed out across the heaving gray waves, deliberating. As hiseyes scanned the horizon, he had a flash of inspiration.

　　"Got it!" he crowed. "Another promise to keep." "What are you talking about?"He let go of my hand and pointed toward the southern edge of the beach, where the flat, rockyhalf-moon dead-ended against the sheer sea cliffs. I stared, uncomprehending.

　　"Didn't I promise to take you cliff diving?"I shivered.

　　"Yeah, it'll be pretty cold—not as cold as it is today. Can you feel the weather changing? The pressure?

　　It will be warmer tomorrow. You up for it?"The dark water did not look inviting, and, from this angle, the cliffs looked even higher than before.

　　But it had been days since I'd heard Edward's voice. That was probably part of the problem. I wasaddicted to the sound of my delusions. It made things worse if I went too long without them. Jumping offa cliff was certain to remedy that situation.

　　"Sure, I'm up for it. Fun.""It's a date," he ............