THE COUNTER IN ALICE’S BATHROOM WAS COVERED WITH a thousand different products, all claiming tobeautify a person’s surface. Since everyone in this house was both perfect and impermeable, I could onlyassume that she’d bought most of these things with me in mind. I read the labels numbly, struck by the waste.

　　I was careful never to look in the long mirror.

　　Alice combed through my hair with a slow, rhythmic motion.

　　“That’s enough, Alice,” I said tonelessly. “I want to go back to La Push.”

　　How many hours had I waited for Charlie to finally leave Billy’s house so that I could see Jacob? Eachminute, not knowing if Jacob was still breathing or not, had seemed like ten lifetimes. And then, when at lastI’d been allowed to go, to see for myself that Jacob was alive, the time had gone so quickly. I felt like I’dbarely caught my breath before Alice was calling Edward, insisting that I keep up this ridiculous sleepoverfaade. It seemed so insignificant. . . .

　　“Jacob’s still unconscious,” Alice answered. “Carlisle or Edward will call when he’s awake. Anyway, youneed to go see Charlie. He was there at Billy’s house, he saw that Carlisle and Edward are back in from theirtrip, and he’s bound to be suspicious when you get home.”

　　I already had my story memorized and corroborated. “I don’t care. I want to be there when Jacob wakesup.”

　　“You need to think of Charlie now. You’ve had a long day — sorry, I know that doesn’t begin to cover it— but that doesn’t mean that you can shirk your responsibilities.” Her voice was serious, almost chiding. “It’smore important now than ever that Charlie stays safely in the dark. Play your role first, Bella, and then you cando what you want second. Part of being a Cullen is being meticulously responsible.”

　　Of course she was right. And if not for this same reason — a reason that was more powerful than all myfear and pain and guilt — Carlisle would never have been able to talk me into leaving Jacob’s side,unconscious or not.

　　“Go home,” Alice ordered. “Talk to Charlie. Flesh out your alibi. Keep him safe.”

　　I stood, and the blood flowed down to my feet, stinging like the pricks of a thousand needles. I’d beensitting still for a long time.

　　“That dress is adorable on you,” Alice cooed.

　　“Huh? Oh. Er — thanks again for the clothes,” I mumbled out of courtesy rather than real gratitude.

　　“You need the evidence,” Alice said, her eyes innocent and wide. “What’s a shopping trip without a newoutfit? It’s very flattering, if I do say so myself.”

　　I blinked, unable to remember what she’d dressed me in. I couldn’t keep my thoughts from skitteringaway every few seconds, insects running from the light. . . .

　　“Jacob is fine, Bella,” Alice said, easily interpreting my preoccupation. “There’s no hurry. If you realizedhow much extra morphine Carlisle had to give him — what with his temperature burning it off so quickly —you would know that he’s going to be out for a while.”

　　At least he wasn’t in any pain. Not yet.

　　“Is there anything you want to talk about before you leave?” Alice asked sympathetically. “You must bemore than a little traumatized.”

　　I knew what she was curious about. But I had other questions.

　　“Will I be like that?” I asked her, my voice subdued. “Like that girl Bree in the meadow?”

　　There were many things I needed to think of, but I couldn’t seem to get her out of my head, the newbornwhose other life was now — abruptly — over. Her face, twisted with desire for my blood, lingered behind myeyelids.

　　Alice stroked my arm. “Everyone is different. But something like that, yes.”

　　I was very still, trying to imagine.

　　“It passes,” she promised.

　　“How soon?”

　　 She shrugged. “A few years, maybe less. It might be different for you. I’ve never seen anyone go throughthis who’s chosen it beforehand. It should be interesting to see how that affects you.”

　　“Interesting,” I repeated.

　　“We’ll keep you out of trouble.”

　　“I know that. I trust you.” My voice was monotone, dead.

　　Alice’s forehead puckered. “If you’re worried about Carlisle and Edward, I’m sure they’ll be fine. Ibelieve Sam is beginning to trust us . . . well, to trust Carlisle, at least. It’s a good thing, too. I imagine theatmosphere got a little tense when Carlisle had to rebreak the fractures —”

　　“Please, Alice.”

　　“Sorry.”

　　I took a deep breath to steady myself. Jacob had begun healing too quickly, and some of his bones hadset wrong. He’d been out cold for the process, but it was still hard to think about.

　　“Alice, can I ask you a question? About the future?”

　　She was suddenly wary. “You know I don’t see everything.”

　　“It’s not that, exactly. But you do see my future, sometimes. Why is that, do you think, when nothing elseworks on me? Not what Jane can do, or Edward or Aro . . .” My sentence trailed off with my interest level.

　　My curiosity on this point was fleeting, heavily overshadowed by more pressing emotions.

　　Alice, however, found the question very interesting. “Jasper, too, Bella — his talent works on your bodyjust as well as it does on anyone else’s. That’s the difference, do you see it? Jasper’s abilities affect the bodyphysically. He really does calm your system down, or excite it. It’s not an illusion. And I see visions ofoutcomes, not the reasons and thoughts behind the decisions that create them. It’s outside the mind, not anillusion, either; reality, or at least one version of it. But Jane and Edward and Aro and Demetri — they workinside the mind. Jane only creates an illusion of pain. She doesn’t really hurt your body, you only think you feelit. You see, Bella? You are safe inside your mind. No one can reach you there. It’s no wonder that Aro wasso curious about your future abilities.”

　　She watched my face to see if I was following her logic. In truth, her words had all started to run together,the syllables and sounds losing their meaning. I couldn’t concentrate on them. Still, I nodded. Trying to looklike I got it.

　　She wasn’t fooled. She stroked my cheek and murmured, “He’s going to be okay, Bella. I don’t need avision to know that. Are you ready to go?”

　　“One more thing. Can I ask you another question about the future? I don’t want specifics, just anoverview.”

　　“I’ll do my best,” she said, doubtful again.

　　“Can you still see me becoming a vampire?”

　　“Oh, that’s easy. Sure, I do.”

　　I nodded slowly.

　　She examined my face, her eyes unfathomable. “Don’t you know your own mind, Bella?”

　　“I do. I just wanted to be sure.”

　　“I’m only as sure as you are, Bella. You know that. If you were to change your mind, what I see wouldchange . . . or disappear, in your case.”

　　I sighed. “That isn’t going to happen, though.”

　　She put her arms around me. “I’m sorry. I can’t really empathize. My first memory is of seeing Jasper’sface in my future; I always knew that he was where my life was headed. But I can sympathize. I’m so sorryyou have to choose between two good things.”

　　I shook off her arms. “Don’t feel sorry for me.” There were people who deserved sympathy. I wasn’t oneof them. And there wasn’t any choice to make — there was just breaking a good heart to attend to now. “I’llgo deal with Charlie.”

　　I drove my truck home, where Charlie was waiting just as suspiciously as Alice had expected.

　　“Hey, Bella. How was your shopping trip?” he greeted me when I walked into the kitchen. He had hisarms folded over his chest, his eyes on my face.

　　“Long,” I said dully. “We just got back.”

　　Charlie assessed my mood. “I guess you already heard about Jake, then?”

　　 “Yes. The rest of the Cullens beat us home. Esme told us where Carlisle and Edward were.”

　　“Are you okay?”

　　“Worried about Jake. As soon as I make dinner, I’m going down to La Push.”

　　“I told you those motorcycles were dangerous. I hope this makes you realize that I wasn’t kiddingaround.”

　　I nodded as I started pulling things out of the fridge. Charlie settled himself in at the table. He seemed tobe in a more talkative mood than usual.

　　“I don’t think you need to worry about Jake too much. Anyone who can cuss with that kind of energy isgoing to recover.”

　　“Jake was awake when you saw him?” I asked, spinning to look at him.

　　“Oh, yeah, he was awake. You should have heard him — actually, it’s better you didn’t. I don’t thinkthere was anyone in La Push who couldn’t hear him. I don’t know where he picked up that vocabulary, but Ihope he hasn’t been using that kind of language around you.”

　　“He had a pretty good excuse today. How did he look?”

　　“Messed up. His friends carried him in. Good thing they’re big boys, ’cause that kid’s an armful. Carlislesaid his right leg is broken, and his right arm. Pretty much the whole right side of his body got crushed when hewrecked that damn bike.” Charlie shook his head. “If I ever hear of you riding again, Bella —”

　　“No problem there, Dad. You won’t. Do you really think Jake’s okay?”

　　“Sure, Bella, don’t worry. He was himself enough to tease me.”

　　“Tease you?” I echoed in shock.

　　“Yeah — in between insulting somebody’s mother and taking the Lord’s name in vain, he said, ‘Betyou’re glad she loves Cullen instead of me today, huh, Charlie?’”

　　I turned back to the fridge so that he couldn’t see my face.

　　“And I couldn’t argue. Edward’s more mature than Jacob when it comes to your safety, I’ll give him thatmuch.”

　　“Jacob’s plenty mature,” I muttered defensively. “I’m sure this wasn’t his fault.”

　　“Weird day today,” Charlie mused after a minute. “You know, I don’t put much stock in that superstitiouscrap, but it was odd. . . . It was like Billy knew something bad was going to happen to Jake. He was nervousas a turkey on Thanksgiving all morning. I don’t think he heard anything I said to him.

　　“And then, weirder than that — remember back in February and March when we had all that trouble withthe wolves?”

　　I bent down to get a frying pan out of the cupboard, and hid there an extra second or two.

　　“Yeah,” I mumbled.

　　“I hope we’re not going to have a problem with that again. This morning, we were out in the boat, andBilly wasn’t paying any attention to me or the fish, when all of a sudden, you could hear wolves yowling in thewoods. More than one, and, boy, was it loud. Sounded like they were right there in the village. Weirdest partwas, Billy turned the boat around and headed straight back to the harbor like they were calling to himpersonally. Didn’t even hear me ask what he was doing.

　　“The noise stopped before we got the boat docked. But all of a sudden Billy was in the biggest hurry notto miss the game, though we had hours still. He was mumbling some nonsense about an earlier showing . . . ofa live game? I tell you, Bella, it was odd.

　　“Well, he found some game he said he wanted to watch, but then he just ignored it. He was on the phonethe whole time, calling Sue, and Emily, and your friend Quil’s grandpa. Couldn’t quite make out what he waslooking for — he just chatted real casual with them.

　　“Then the howling started again right outside the house. I’ve never heard anything like it — I had goosebumps on my arms. I asked Billy — had to shout over the noise — if he’d been setting traps in his yard. Itsounded like the animal was in serious pain.”

　　I winced, but Charlie was so caught up in his story that he didn’t notice.

　　“’Course I forgot all about that till just this minute, ’cause that’s when Jake made it home. One minute itwas that wolf yowling, and then you couldn’t hear it anymore — Jake’s cussing drowned it right out. Got a setof lungs on him, that boy does.”

　　Charlie paused for a minute, his face thoughtful. “Funny that some good should come out of this mess. I didn’t think they were ever going to get over that fool prejudice they have against the Cullens down there. Butsomebody called Carlisle, and Billy was real grateful when he showed up. I thought we should get Jake up tothe hospital, but Billy wanted to keep him home, and Carlisle agreed. I guess Carlisle knows what’s best.

　　Generous of him to sign up for such a long stretch of house calls.”

　　“And . . .” he paused, as if unwilling to say something. He sighed, and then continued. “And Edward wasreally . . . nice. He seemed as worried about Jacob as you are — like that was his brother lying there. Thelook in his eyes . . .” Charlie shook his head. “He’s a decent guy, Bella. I’ll try to remember that. Nopromises, though.” He grinned at me.

　　“I won’t hold you to it,” I mumbled.

　　Charlie stretched his legs and groaned. “It’s nice to be home. You wouldn’t believe how crowded Billy’slittle place gets. Seven of Jake’s friends all squished themselves into that little front room — I could hardlybreathe. Have you ever noticed how big those Quileute kids all are?”

　　“Yeah, I have.”

　　Charlie stared at me, his eyes abruptly more focused. “Really, Bella, Carlisle said Jake will be up andaround in no time. Said it looked a lot worse than it was. He’s going to be fine.”

　　I just nodded.

　　Jacob had looked so . . . strangely fragile when I’d hurried down to see him as soon as Charlie had left.

　　He’d had braces everywhere — Carlisle said there was no point in plaster, as fast as he was healing. His facehad been pale and drawn, deeply unconscious though he was at the time. Breakable. Huge as he was, he’dlooked very breakable. Maybe that had just been my imagination, coupled with the knowledge that I wasgoing to have to break him.

　　If only I could be struck by lightning and be split in two. Preferably painfully. For the first time, giving upbeing human felt like a true sacrifice. Like it might be too much to lose.

　　I put Charlie’s dinner on the table next to his elbow and headed for the door.

　　“Er, Bella? Could you wait just a second?”

　　“Did I forget something?” I asked, eyeing his plate.

　　“No, no. I just . . . want to ask a favor.” Charlie frowned and looked at the floor. “Have a seat — thiswon’t take long.”

　　I sat across from him, a little confused. I tried to focus. “What do you need, Dad?”

　　“Here’s the gist of it, Bella.” Charlie flushed. “Maybe I’m just feeling . . . superstitious after hanging outwith Billy while he was being so strange all day. But I have this . . . hunch. I feel like . . . I’m going to lose yousoon.”

　　“Don’t be silly, Dad,” I mumbled guiltily. “You want me to go to school, don’t you?”

　　“Just promise me one thing.”

　　I was hesitant, ready to rescind. “Okay . . .”

　　“Will you tell me before you do anything major? Before you run off with him or something?”

　　“Dad . . . ,” I moaned.

　　“I’m serious. I won’t kick up a fuss. Just give me some advance notice. Give me a chance to hug yougoodbye.”

　　Cringing mentally, I held up my hand. “This is silly. But, if it makes you happy, . . . I promise.”

　　“Thanks, Bella,” he said. “I love you, kid.”

　　“I love you, too, Dad.” I touched his shoulder, and then shoved away from the table. “If you needanything, I’ll be at Billy’s.”

　　I didn’t look back as I ran out. This was just perfect, just what I needed right now. I grumbled to myselfall the way to La Push.

　　Carlisle’s black Mercedes was not in front of Billy’s house. That was both good and bad. Obviously, Ineeded to talk to Jacob alone. Yet I still wished I could somehow hold Edward’s hand, like I had before,when Jacob was unconscious. Impossible. But I missed Edward — it had seemed like a very long afternoonalone with Alice. I supposed that made my answer quite obvious. I already knew that I couldn’t live withoutEdward. That fact wasn’t going to make this any less painful.

　　I tapped quietly on the front door.

　　“Come in, Bella,” Billy said. The roar of my truck was easy to recognize.

　　 I let myself in.

　　“Hey, Billy. Is he awake?” I asked.

　　“He woke up about a half hour ago, just before the doctor left. Go on in. I think he’s been waiting foryou.”

　　I flinched, and then took a deep breath. “Thanks.”

　　I hesitated at the door to Jacob’s room, not sure whether to knock. I decided to peek first, hoping —coward that I was — that maybe he’d gone back to sleep. I felt like I could use just a few more minutes.

　　I opened the door a crack and leaned hesitantly in.

　　Jacob was waiting for me, his face calm and smooth. The haggard, gaunt look was gone, but only a carefulblankness took its place. There was no animation in his dark eyes.

　　It was hard to look at his face, knowing that I loved him. It made more of a difference than I would havethought. I wondered if it had always been this hard for him, all this time.

　　Thankfully, someone had covered him with a quilt. It was a relief not to have to see the extent of thedamage.

　　I stepped in and shut the door quietly behind me.

　　“Hi, Jake,” I murmured.

　　He didn’t answer at first. He looked at my face for a long moment. Then, with some effort, he rearrangedhis expression into a slightly mocking smile.

　　“Yeah, I sor............