BALLS AND DANCES
Dinner and Subscription Dances—Roof-garden Dances—Reciprocal Duties of the Chaperon and Her Charge—How to Enter and How to Leave a Ballroom—Objectionable Styles of Dancing—The Stag Line and the Dance Programme—The Hostess and Her Assistants—The Host—Introductions at Public and at Private Dances—Duties of Floor Committee—Supper Etiquette—Dress for Young Girls and Married Women—Dress for Men.
ACCORDING to the rules of good society, her mother, or some other chaperon of good position and suitable age, should always accompany a young girl when she goes to a ball or other dance in the evening. If this rule were always enforced as it should be, we should not hear of the escapades which some thoughtless young women have indulged in of late years. The swinging back of the pendulum, which is sure to follow an excess in one direction, will doubtless result before long in a stricter chaperonage. Suffice it to say that at present, while a matron is expected to go with her charge to public balls and dances and on many other occasions, at subscription affairs and at those in private houses she often does not do so. It must not be supposed that the young women go alone or under masculine escort. This would be contrary to good form. In the absence of the mother a lady’s-maid accompanies the daughter, waits for her until the dance is over, and returns in the carriage with her. The girls are not wholly without chaperons, as the patronesses act in this capacity. It must be remembered also that these subscription dances are in a sense private affairs, although held in assembly-rooms. The patronesses make out a list of eligible persons whom they ask to subscribe, and permit no one else to do so. Certain assemblies are arranged upon another plan, the patronesses each subscribing for twelve tickets, and then inviting six men and five girls to be their guests. They often ask these young ladies to dine with them on the evening of the dance, or the girls may take dinner with friends and all go on together.
The case is very different with the afternoon and evening dances which have sprung up in such great numbers since the advent of the tango craze. Since anybody is admitted who pays the entrance fee, these are public affairs, and not private in any sense of the word. The so-called chaperon who at some places acts as mistress of ceremonies is supposed to pass judgment on the applicants for admission; but evidently it would not be possible for her to exercise this right of judgment except in the most superficial way. To a dance of this sort no young woman should think of going without a personal chaperon. In a city like New York we should strongly advise her to attend only afternoon affairs, and to remain an onlooker. In a smaller place where every one knows everybody else, and all are acquainted with the person getting up the dance, the case would be different. At a public dance the chaperon should not permit any introductions to be made to the young girl under her charge by persons unknown to her, and she most certainly should not allow the latter to dance with strangers. The mistress of ceremonies makes introductions where they are desired, but to form acquaintances in a public resort of this kind is not according to good form, and might indeed be very unsafe. Strangers coming to New York, or any other large city, should make careful inquiries before going to roof-gardens or other places of entertainment where there is dancing, for while some of these are entirely respectable, others are not.
We have said that at a private or subscription dance a girl often does not have a personal chaperon, the patronesses assuming the duties of the latter in a general way. When a matron does accompany a young woman, it is the duty of the former to promote the pleasure of her young charge, to prevent her from forming undesirable acquaintances and from making herself too conspicuous. For all these reasons she needs to keep a watchful eye on her daughter or other young friend. If the girl wanders off into the gallery in the company of some agreeable young man, mamma must go or send after them and bid them return to the floor of the ballroom. A patroness would do this in the case of an unchaperoned girl. If a girl shows too marked a partiality for any individual, the mother who is a clever woman of the world manages to break up the tête-à-tête.
She would do the same thing should a man of whom she disapproved be introduced to her daughter. Formerly a chaperon worthy of the name sat still and served as an island of refuge to the young woman under her care. The latter returned to her protecting wing to rest between the numbers of the programme, or when she had no partner for supper or dance. Whenever opportunity offered, the chaperon introduced young men to her charge. It must be confessed that the modern conditions of the ballroom restrict the beneficent activity of the matron on many occasions. In the first place, she finds it much harder to sit still. No one under the age of Methuselah is immune from the present craze for dancing. At the Charity Ball in New York this year the boxes were deserted, old as well as young capering about on the light fantastic toe. In the second place, the new custom of almost continuous dancing leaves few or no intervals for rest. Hence a girl cannot return to her chaperon so frequently as under the old régime.
Youth is apt to be selfish, often through thoughtlessness. The young woman who is having a delightful evening must not forget that the hours will pass much more slowly for her chaperon. Even if the latter dances herself, she will not be able to continue it so long as those of the younger generation. A girl must have some consideration for her mother and not keep her up until an unconscionably late hour. If mamma sends word to her daughter that it is time to go home, the latter should come without unnecessary delay. The girl should return to her mother’s side from time to time as opportunity offers, especially if the latter knows few people and is having a dull evening. She will, of course, always allow the older lady to precede her, and will introduce her young friends to her chaperon as occasion arises. Thus, when they make their first entrance into the ballroom at the beginning of the evening, the latter goes in a step or two in advance of the younger woman. If a man is of the party, he follows the ladies. The custom of entering arm-in-arm has gone entirely out of fashion, as we have already said. At subscription dances in New York it is usual to announce the guests as they go in, a servant standing at the door for the purpose. The patronesses should be in line to receive them; but at some dances there is no one to perform the office. These official hostesses may greet all comers with a bow or courtesy, or they may follow the more cordial custom of shaking hands. At the subscription dances in New York the last-named method is usually followed. In Boston a girl is taken up to the receiving-line by an usher. She then makes a sweeping courtesy to all the patronesses, and dances with him. Whether they shake hands or merely bow, it is the duty of the ladies who receive to do so in a gracious manner, as befits a hostess.
Should one take leave of the latter after a dance? This depends upon circumstances. The persons who take their departure early often slip out quietly, in order not to advertise the fact that they are going. It is not altogether a compliment to a hostess to leave early in the evening, and if many people did so it would tend to break up the ball. Should one pass near the lady of the house, however, politeness requires that one should bid her good night and express pleasure in the evening’s entertainment or congratulate her on its success. Later on, when the movement to go home becomes general, all take their leave of the hostess, and of the host, if he is standing near.
The discussion about the merits and demerits of the new styles of dancing has raged so vigorously in press and pulpit that every one is familiar with it. The result of all this debate has been good, since the objectionable features have been to a great extent removed. When the tango and the other new dances were first introduced, there was a great deal of unfavorable criticism of the method of holding the partner, and of the “shaking and wiggling” motions of the body. The latter was a consequence, it is said, of the slow movement of the music. This rendered it difficult to dance without a swaying accompaniment. By making the tempo a little more rapid it has been found possible to eliminate the last feature, and good dancers have proved that the tango, one-step, and the like can be executed well and gracefully without holding the partner too closely. It is evident that the new dances have been greatly modified, and that they will not be given up at present. It is pointed out that there always have been, and perhaps always will be, some persons who dance in a way that people of refinement disapprove of. It is a rule of good society to avoid everything that makes a person conspicuous, hence amateur dancers of good taste do not take their steps in the exaggerated and sensational style suitable only for professional performers.
A lady who wishes to give a large dance usually hires an assembly-room, unless she possesses a very spacious house. The arrangements at the front door, in the dressing-rooms, etc., are the same as those described elsewhere. Checks for the wraps, hats, and coats will be needed, cigars and cigarettes may be provided for the men. The use of dance programmes has been abandoned to a great extent, except at college, military, and naval balls. Here the young ladies often come from a distance, and the dance-cards are filled out for them beforehand by their brothers or friends.
Where a débutante is to be introduced to society she stands beside her mother, who shakes hands cordially with all her guests and then presents her daughter to the ladies, the men being introduced to the young girl. If the older daughters assist in receiving, they stand beyond the youngest. The husband sometimes receives with his wife, and sometimes does not. At a dance in a private house, a greater responsibility devolves upon the hostess than in a subscription affair, where a floor committee have the management of matters. She endeavors to provide her guests with partners, and makes some introductions, her husband and daughters assisting her.
At a subscription dance, if a young girl after making her bow to the patronesses fails to meet any one whom she knows, one of these official hostesses or a member of the floor committee presents a partner to her. These gentlemen wear a small boutonnière to indicate their office. It is their duty and pleasure to make everything go off well, and to assist the young girls in any way that may be needed. They know most of the guests and make introductions.
According to the present system of dancing, a number of the men form “a stag line” near the patronesses. After a couple have danced one or more times around the roo............