CNN broke the story first.
I was glad it hit the news before I had to leave for school, anxious to hear how thehumans would phrase the account, and what amount of attention it would garner.
Luckily, it was a heavy news day. There was an earthquake in South America and apolitical kidnapping in the Middle East. So it ended up only earning a few seconds,
a fewsentences, and one grainy picture.
“Alonzo Calderas Wallace, suspected serial rapist and murderer wanted in thestates of Texas and Oklahoma, was apprehended last night in Portland, Oregon thanks
toan anonymous tip. Wallace was found unconscious in an alley early this morning, just afew yards from a police station. Officials are unable to tell us at this time
whether he willbe extradited to Houston or Oklahoma City to stand trial.”
The picture was unclear, a mug shot, and he’d had a thick beard at the time of thephotograph. Even if Bella saw it, she would probably not recognize him. I hoped
shewouldn’t; it would make her afraid needlessly.
“The coverage here in town will be light. It’s too far away to be considered oflocal interest,” Alice told me. “It was a good call to have Carlisle take him out
of state.”
I nodded. Bella didn’t watch much TV regardless, and I’d never seen her fatherwatching anything besides sports channels.
I’d done what I could. This monster no longer hunted, and I was not a murderer.
Not recently, anyway. I’d been right to trust Carlisle, as much as I still wished themonster had not gotten off quite so easily. I caught myself hoping he would be
extraditedto Texas, where the death penalty was so popular…No. That didn’t matter. I would put this behind me, and concentrate on what wasmost important.
I’d left Bella’s room less than an hour ago. I was already aching to see her again.
“Alice, do you mind—”
She cut me off. “Rosalie will drive. She’ll act pissed, but you know she’ll enjoythe excuse to show off her car.” Alice trilled a laugh.
I grinned at her. “See you at school.”
Alice sighed, and my grin became a grimace.
I know, I know, she thought. Not yet. I’ll wait until you’re ready for Bella toknow me. You should know, though, this isn’t just me being selfish. Bella’s going
to likeme, too.
I didn’t answer her as I hurried out the door. That was a different way of viewingthe situation. Would Bella want to know Alice? To have a vampire for a
girlfriend?
Knowing Bella…that idea probably wouldn’t bother her in the slightest.
I frowned to myself. What Bella wanted and what was best for Bella were twovery separate things.
I started to feel uneasy as I parked my car in Bella’s driveway. The human adagesaid that things looked different in the morning—that things changed when you
slept onthem. Would I look different to Bella in the weak light of a foggy day? More sinister orless sinister than I had in the blackness of night? Had the truth sunk
in while she slept?
Would she finally be afraid?
Her dreams had been peaceful, though, last night. When she’d spoken my name,time and time again, she’d smiled. More than once she’d murmured a plea for me to
stay.
Would that mean nothing today?
I waited nervously, listening to the sounds of her inside the house—the fast,stumbling footsteps on the stairs, the sharp rip of a foil wrapper, the contents of
therefrigerator crashing against each other when the door slammed. It sounded like she wasin a hurry. Anxious to get to school? The thought made me smile, hopeful
again.
I looked at the clock. I supposed that—taking in account the velocity her decrepittruck must limit her to—she was running a little late.
Bella rushed out of the house, her book bag sliding off her shoulder, her haircoiled into a messy twist that was already coming apart on the nape of her neck.
Thethick green sweater she wore was not enough to keep her thin shoulders from hunchingagainst the cold fog.
The long sweater was too big for her, unflattering. It masked her slender figure,turning all her delicate curves and soft lines into a shapeless jumble. I
appreciated thisalmost as much as I wished that she had worn something more like the soft blue blouse she’d worn last night…the fabric had clung to her skin in such
an appealing way, cut lowenough to reveal the mesmerizing way her collar bones curled away from the hollowbeneath her throat. The blue had flowed like water along the
subtle shape of her body…It was better—essential—that I kept my thoughts far, far away from that shape, soI was grateful to the unbecoming sweater she wore. I couldn
’t afford to make mistakes,and it would be a monumental mistake to dwell on the strange hungers that thoughts ofher lips…her skin…her body…were shaking loose inside
of me. Hungers that hadevaded me for a hundred years. But I could not allow myself to think of touching her,because that was impossible.
I would break her.
Bella turned away from the door, in such a hurry that she nearly ran right by mycar without noticing it.
Then she skidded to a stop, her knees locking like a startled colt’s. Her bag slidfurther down her arm, and her eyes flew wide as they focused on the car.
I got out, taking no care to move at human speed, and opened the passenger doorfor her. I would not try to deceive her anymore—when we were alone, at least, I
wouldbe myself.
She looked up at me, startled again as I seemingly materialized out of the fog.
And then the surprise in her eyes changed to something else, and I was no longer afraid—or hopeful—that her feelings for me had changed in the course of the
night. Warmth,wonder, fascination, all swimming in the melted chocolate of her eyes.
“Do you want to ride with me today?” I asked. Unlike dinner last night, I wouldlet her choose. From now on, it must always be her choice.
“Yes, thank you,” she murmured, climbing into my car without hesitation.
Would it ever cease to thrill me, that I was the one she was saying yes to? Idoubted it.
I flashed around the car, eager to join her. She showed no sign of being shockedby my sudden reappearance.
The happiness I felt when she sat beside me this way had no precedent. As muchas I enjoyed the love and companionship of my family, despite the various
entertainmentsand distractions the world had to offer, I had never been happy like this. Even knowing that it was wrong, that this couldn’t possibly end well, could
not keep the smile from myface for long.
My jacket was folded over the headrest of her seat. I saw her eyeing it.
“I brought the jacket for you,” I told her. This was my excuse, had I needed toprovide one, for showing up uninvited this morning. It was cold. She had no jacket.
Surely this was an acceptable form of chivalry. “I didn’t want you to get sick orsomething.”
“I’m not quite that delicate,” she said, staring at my chest rather than my face, asif she were hesitant to meet my eyes. But she put the coat on before I had to
resort tocommanding or coaxing.
“Aren’t you?” I muttered to myself.
She stared out at the road as I accelerated toward the school. I could only standthe silence for a few seconds. I had to know what her thoughts were this morning.
Somuch had changed between us since the last time the sun was up.
“What, no twenty questions today?” I asked, keeping it light again.
She smiled, seeming glad that I’d broached the subject. “Do my questions botheryou?”
“Not as much as your reactions do,” I told her honestly, smiling in response to hersmile.
Her mouth turned down. “Do I react badly?”
“No, that’s the problem. You take everything so coolly—it’s unnatural.” Not onescream so far. How could that be? “It makes me wonder what you’re really
thinking.”
Of course, everything she did or didn’t do made me wonder that.
“I always tell you what I’m really thinking.”
“You edit.”
Her teeth pressed into her lip again. She didn’t seem to notice when she didthis—it was an unconscious response to tension. “Not very much.”
Just those words were enough to have my curiosity raging. What did shepurposefully keep from me?
“Enough to drive me insane,” I said.
She hesitated, and then whispered, “You don’t want to hear it.”
I had to think for a moment, run through our entire conversation last night, wordfor word, before I made the connection. Perhaps it took so much concentration
because Icouldn’t imagine anything that I wouldn’t want her to say to me. And then—because thetone of her voice was the same as last night; there was suddenly pain
there again—Iremembered. Once, I had asked her not to speak her thoughts. Never say that, I’d all butsnarled at her. I had made her cry…Was this what she kept from
me? The depth of her feelings about me? That mybeing a monster didn’t matter to her, and that she thought it was too late for her to changeher mind?
I was unable to speak, because the joy and pain were too strong for words, theconflict between them too wild to allow for a coherent response. It was silent in the
carexcept for the steady rhythms of her heart and lungs.
“Where’s the rest of your family?” she asked suddenly.
I took a deep breath—registering the scent in the car with true pain for the firsttime; I was getting used to this, I realized with satisfaction—and forced myself
to becasual again.
“They took Rosalie’s car.” I parked in the open spot next to the car in question. Ihid my smile as I watched her eyes widen. “Ostentatious, isn’t it?”
“Um, wow. If she has that, why does she ride with you?”
Rosalie would have enjoyed Bella’s reaction…if she were being objective aboutBella, which probably wouldn’t happen.
“Like I said, it’s ostentatious. We try to blend in.”
“You don’t succeed,” she told me, and then she laughed a carefree laugh.
The blithe, wholly untroubled sound of her laughter warmed my hollow chesteven as it made my head swim with doubt.
“So why did Rosalie drive today if it’s more conspicuous?” she wondered.
“Hadn’t you noticed? I’m breaking all the rules now.”
My answer should have been mildly frightening—so, of course, Bella smiled at it.
She didn’t wait for me to open her door, just like last night. I had to feignnormality here at school—so I couldn’t move fast enough to prevent this—but she
wasjust going to have to get used to being treated with more courtesy, and get used to it soon.
I walked as close to her as I dared, watching carefully for any sign that myproximity upset her. Twice her hand twitched toward me and then she would snatch
itback. It looked like she wanted to touch me… My breath sped.
“Why do you have cars like that at all? If you’re looking for privacy?” she askedas we walked.
“An indulgence,” I admitted. “We all like to drive fast.”
“Figures,” she mumbled, her tone sour.
She didn’t look up to see my answering grin.
Nuh-uh! I don’t believe this! How the hell did Bella pull this off? I don’t get it!
Why?
Jessica’s mental boggling interrupted my thoughts. She was waiting for Bella,taking refuge from the rain under the edge of the cafeteria’s roof, with Bella’s
winterjacket over her arm. Her eyes were wide with disbelief.
Bella noticed her, too, in the next moment. A faint pink touched her cheek whenBella registered Jessica’s expression. The thoughts in Jessica’s head were fairly
clear onher face.
“Hey, Jessica. Thanks for remembering,” Bella greeted her. She reached out forthe jacket and Jessica handed it to her wordlessly.
I should be polite to Bella’s friends, whether they were good friends or not.
“Good morning, Jessica.”
Whoa…Jessica’s eyes popped even wider. It was strange and amusing…and, honestly, abit embarrassing…to realize how much being near Bella had softened me. It
seemed likeno one was afraid of me any more. If Emmett found out about this, he would be laughingfor the next century.
“Er…hi,” Jessica mumbled, and her eyes flashed to Bella’s face, full ofsignificance. “I guess I’ll see you in Trig.”
You are so going to spill. I’m not taking no for an answer. Details. I have tohave details! Edward freaking CULLEN!! Life is so unfair.
Bella’s mouth twitched. “Yeah, I’ll see you then.”
Jessica’s thoughts ran wild as she hurried to her first class, peeking back at usnow and then.
The whole story. I’m not accepting anything less. Did they plan to meet up lastnight? Are they dating? How long? How could she keep this a secret? Why would
shewant to? It can’t be a casual thing—she has to be seriously into him. Is there any otheroption? I will find out. I can’t stand not knowing. I wonder if she’s
made out with him?
Oh, swoon… Jessica’s thoughts were suddenly disjointed, and she let wordless fantasiesswirl through her head. I winced at her speculations, and not just because
she’d replacedBella with herself in the mental pictures.
It couldn’t be like that. And yet I…I wanted…I resisted making the admission, even to myself. How many wrong ways would Iwant Bella in? Which one would end up
killing her?
I shook my head, and tried to lighten up.
“What are you going to tell her?” I asked Bella.
“Hey!” she whispered fiercely. “I thought you couldn’t read my mind!”
“I can’t.” I stared at her, surprised, trying to make sense of her words. Ah—wemust have been thinking the same thing at the same time. Hmm…I rather liked
that.
“However,” I told her, “I can read hers—she’ll be waiting to ambush you in class.”
Bella groaned, and then let the jacket slide off her shoulders. I didn’t realize thatshe was giving it back at first—I wouldn’t have asked for it; I would rather
she kept it…atoken—so I was too slow to offer her my help. She handed me the jacket, and put herarms through her own, without looking up to see that my hands were
extended to assist. Ifrowned at that, and then controlled my expression before she noticed it.
“So, what are you going to tell her?” I pressed.
“A little help? What does she want to know?”
I smiled, and shook my head. I wanted to hear what she was thinking without aprompt. “That’s not fair.”
Her eyes tightened. “No, you not sharing what you know—now that’s unfair.”
Right—she didn’t like double standards.
We got to the door of her class—where I would have to leave her; I wondered idlyif Ms. Cope would be more accommodating about a switch in the schedule of my
Englishclass… I made myself focus. I could be fair.
“She wants to know if we’re secretly dating,” I said slowly. “And she wants toknow how you feel about me.”
Her eyes were wide—not startled, but ingenious now. They were open to me,readable. She was playing innocent.
“Yikes,” she murmured. “What should I say?”
“Hmmm.” She always tried to make me give away more than she did. I ponderedhow to respond.
A wayward strand of her hair, slightly damp from the fog, draped across hershoulder and curled around where her collar bone was hidden by the ridiculous sweater.
It drew my eyes…pulled them across the other hidden lines…I reached for it carefully, not touching her skin—the morning was chill enoughwithout my touch—and
twisted it back into place in her untidy bun so that it wouldn’tdistract me again. I remembered when Mike Newton had touched her hair, and my jawflexed at the memory.
She had flinched away from him then. Her reaction now wasnothing the same; instead, there was a slight widening of her eyes, a rush of blood underher skin, and a
sudden, uneven thumping of her heart.
I tried to hide my smile as I answered her question.
“I suppose you could say yes to the first…if you don’t mind—,” her choice,always her choice, “—it’s easier than any other explanation.”
“I don’t mind,” she whispered. Her heart had not found its normal rhythm yet.
“And as for her other question…” I couldn’t hide my smile now. “Well, I’ll belistening to hear the answer to that one myself.”
Let Bella consider that. I held back my laugh as shock crossed her face.
I turned quickly, before she could ask for any more answers. I had a difficult timenot giving her whatever she asked for. And I wanted to hear her thoughts, not
mine.
“I’ll see you at lunch,” I called back to her over my shoulder, an excuse to checkthat she was still staring after me, wide-eyed. Her mouth was hanging open. I
turnedaway again, and laughed.
As I paced away, I was vaguely aware of the shocked and speculative thoughtsthat swirled around me—eyes bouncing back and forth between Bella’s face and
myretreating figure. I paid them little attention. I couldn’t concentrate. It was hard enoughto keep my feet moving at an acceptable speed as I crossed the soggy grass
to my nextclass. I wanted to run—really run, so fast that I would disappear, so fast that it wouldfeel like I was flying. Part of me was flying already.
I put the jacket on when I got to class, letting her fragrance swim thick around me.
I would burn now—let the scent desensitize me—and then it would be easier to ignore itlater, when I was with her again at lunch…It was a good thing that my
teachers no longer bothered to call on me. Todaymight have been the day that they would have caught me out, unprepared and answerless.
My mind was in so many places this morning; only my body was in the classroom.
Of course I was watching Bella. That was becoming natural—as automatic asbreathing. I heard her conversation with a demoralized Mike Newton. She quicklydirected
the conversation to Jessica, and I grinned so wide that Rob Sawyer, who sat atthe desk to my right, flinched visibly and slid deeper into his seat, away from me.
Ugh. Creepy.
Well, I hadn’t lost it entirely.
I was also monitoring Jessica loosely, watching her refine her questions for Bella.
I could barely wait for fourth period, ten times as eager and anxious as the curious humangirl who wanted fresh gossip.
And I was also listening to Angela Weber.
I had not forgotten the gratitude I felt to her—for thinking nothing but kind thingstoward Bella in the first place, and then for her help last night. So I waited
through themorning, looking for something that she wanted. I assumed it would be an easy; like anyother human, there must be some bauble or toy she wanted particularly.
Several,probably. I would deliver something anonymously and call us even.
But Angela proved almost as unaccommodating as Bella with her thoughts. Shewas oddly content for a teenager. Happy. Perhaps this was the reason for her
unusualkindness—she was one of those rare people who had what they wanted and wanted whatthey had. If she wasn’t paying attention to her teachers and her notes, she
was thinking of the twin little brothers she was taking to the beach this weekend—anticipating theirexcitement with an almost maternal pleasure. She cared for them
often, but was notresentful of this fact… It was very sweet.
But not really helpful to me.
There had to be something she wanted. I would just have to keep looking. Butlater. It was time for Bella’s trig class with Jessica.
I wasn’t watching where I was going as I made my way to English. Jessica wasalready in her seat, both her feet tapping impatiently against the floor as she waited
forBella to arrive.
Conversely, once I settled into my assigned seat in the classroom, I becameutterly still. I had to remind myself to fidget now and then. To keep up the charade.
Itwas difficult, my thoughts were so focused on Jessica’s. I hoped she would pay attention,really try to read Bella’s face for me.
Jessica’s tapping intensified when Bella walked into the room.
She looks…glum. Why? Maybe there’s nothing going on with Edward Cullen.
That would be a disappointment. Except…then he’s still available… If he’s suddenlyinterested in dating, I don’t mind helping out with that…Bella’s face didn
’t look glum, it looked reluctant. She was worried—she knew Iwould hear all of this. I smiled to myself.
“Tell me everything!” Jess demanded while Bella was still removing her jacket tohang it on the back of her seat. She was moving with deliberation, unwilling.
Ugh, she’s so slow. Let’s get to the juicy stuff!
“What do you want to know?” Bella stalled as she took her seat.
“What happened last night?”
“He bought me dinner, and then he drove me home.”
And then? C’mon, there has to be more than that! She’s lying anyway, I knowthat. I’m going to call her on it.
“How did you get home so fast?”
I watched Bella roll her eyes at the suspicious Jessica.
“He drives like a maniac. It was terrifying.”
She smiled a tiny smile, and I laughed out loud, interrupting Mr. Mason’sannouncements. I tried to turn the laugh into a cough, but no one was fooled. Mr.
Masonshot me an irritated look, but I didn’t even bother to listen to the thought behind it. I washearing Jessica.
Huh. She sounds like she’s telling the truth. Why is she making me pull this outof her, word by word? I would be bragging at the top of my lungs if it were me.
“Was it like a date—did you tell him to meet you there?”
Jessica watched surprise cross Bella’s expression, and was disappointed at howgenuine it seemed.
“No—I was very surprised to see him there,” Bella told her.
What is going on?? “But he picked you up for school today?” There has to bemore to the story.
“Yes—that was a surprise, too. He noticed I didn’t have a jacket last night.”
That’s not very much fun, Jessica thought, disappointed again.
I was tired of her line of questioning—I wanted to hear something I didn’t alreadyknow. I hoped she wasn’t so dissatisfied that she would skip the questions I
was waitingfor.
“So are you going out again?” Jessica demanded.
“He offered to drive me to Seattle Saturday because he thinks my truck isn’t up toit—does that count?”
Hmm. He sure is going out of his way to…well, take care of her, sort of. Theremust be something there on his side, if not on hers. How could THAT be? Bella’s
crazy.
“Yes,” Jessica answered Bella’s question.
“Well, then,” Bella concluded. “Yes.”
“Wow…Edward Cullen.” Whether she likes him or not, this is major.
“I know,” Bella sighed.
The tone of her voice encouraged Jessica. Finally—she sounds like she gets it!
She must realize…“Wait!” Jessica said, suddenly remembering her most vital question. “Has hekissed you?” Please say yes. And then describe every second!
“No,” Bella mumbled, and then she looked down at her hands, her face falling.
“It’s not like that.”
Damn. I wish… Ha. Looks like she does to.
I frowned. Bella did look upset about something, but it couldn’t bedisappointment like Jessica assumed. She couldn’t want that. Not knowing what sheknew. She
couldn’t want to be that close to my teeth. For all she knew, I had fangs.
I shuddered.
“Do you think Saturday…?” Jessica prodded.
Bella looked even more frustrated as she said, “I really doubt it.”
Yeah, she does wish. That sucks for her.
Was it because I was watching all this through the filter of Jessica’s perceptionsthat it seemed like Jessica was right?
For a half-second I was distracted by the idea, the impossibility, of what it wouldbe like to try to kiss her. My lips to her lips, cold stone to warm, yielding
silk…And then she dies.
I shook my head, wincing, and made myself pay attention.
“What did you talk about?” Did you talk to him, or did you make him drag everyounce of information out of you like this?
I smiled ruefully. Jessica wasn’t far off.
“I don’t know, Jess, lots of stuff. We talked about the English essay a little.”
A very little. I smiled wider.
Oh, c’MON. “Please, Bella! Give me some details.”
Bella deliberated for a moment.
“Well…okay, I’ve got one. You should have seen the waitress flirting with him—it was over the top. But he didn’t pay any attention to her at all.”
What a strange detail to share. I was surprised Bella had even noticed. It seemeda very inconsequential thing.
Interesting… “That’s a good sign. Was she pretty?”
Hmm. Jessica thought more of it that I did. Must be a female thing.
“Very,” Bella told her. “And probably nineteen or twenty.”
Jessica was momentarily distracted by a memory of Mike on her date Mondaynight—Mike being a little too friendly with a waitress who Jessica did not consider
prettyat all. She shoved the memory away and returned, stifling her irritation, to her quest fordetails.
“Even better. He must like you.”
“I think so,” Bella said slowly, and I was on the edge of my seat, my body rigidlystill. “But it’s hard to tell. He’s always so cryptic.”
I must not have been as transparently obvious and out of control as I’d thought.
Still…observant as she was… How could she not realize that I was in love with her? Isifted through our conversation, almost surprised that I hadn’t said the
words out loud. Ithad felt like that knowledge had been the subtext of every word between us.
Wow. How do you sit there across from a male model and make conversation?
“I don’t know how you’re brave enough to be alone with him,” Jessica said.
Shock flashed across Bella’s face. “Why?”
Weird reaction. What does she think I meant? “He’s so…” What’s the rightword? “Intimidating. I wouldn’t know what to say to him.” I couldn’t even
speakEnglish to him today, and all he said was good morning. I must have sounded like suchan idiot.
Bella smiled. “I do have some trouble with incoherency when I’m around him.”
She must be trying to make Jessica feel better. She was almost unnaturally self-possessed when we were together.
“Oh well,” Jessica sighed. “He is unbelievably gorgeous.”
Bella’s face was suddenly colder. Her eyes flashed the same way they did whenshe resented some injustice. Jessica didn’t process the change in her expression.
“There’s a lot more to him than that,” Bella snapped.
Oooh. Now we’re getting somewhere. “Really? Like what?”
Bella gnawed her lip for a moment. “I can’t explain it right,” she finally said.
“But he’s even more unbelievable behind the face.” She looked away from Jessica, hereyes slightly unfocused as if she was staring at something very far away.
The feeling I felt now was loosely similar to how it felt when Carlisle or Esmepraised me beyond what I deserved. Similar, but more intense, more consuming.
Sell stupid somewhere else—there’s nothing better than that face! Unless it’s hisbody. Swoon. “Is that possible?” Jessica giggled.
Bella didn’t turn. She continued to stare into the distance, ignoring Jessica.
A normal person would be gloating. Maybe if I keep the questions simple. Ha ha.
Like I’m talking to a kindergartener. “So you like him, then?”
I was rigid again.
Bella didn’t look at Jessica. “Yes.”
“I mean, do you really like him?”
“Yes.”
Look at that blush!
I was.
“How much do you like him?” Jessica demanded.
The English room could have gone up in flames and I wouldn’t have noticed.
Bella’s face was bright red now—I could almost feel the heat from the mentalpicture.
“Too much,” she whispered. “More than he likes me. But I don’t see how I canhelp that.”
Shoot! What did Mr. Varner just ask? “Um—which number, Mr. Varner?”
It was good that Jessica could no longer quiz Bella. I needed a minute.
What on earth was that girl thinking now? More than he likes me? How did shecome up with that? But I don’t see how I can help that? What was that supposed tomean?
I couldn’t fit a rational explanation to the words. They were practically senseless.
It seemed I couldn’t take anything for granted. Obvious things, things that madeperfect sense, somehow got twisted up and turned backwards in that bizarre brain of
hers.
More than he likes me? Maybe I shouldn’t rule out the institution just yet.
I glared at the clock, gritting my teeth. How could mere minutes feel soimpossibly long to an immortal? Where was my perspective?
My jaw was tight throughout Mr. Varner’s entire trigonometry lesson. I heardmore of that than the lecture in my own class. Bella and Jessica didn’t speak again,
butJessica peeked at Bella several times, and once her face was brilliant scarlet again for noapparent reason.
Lunch couldn’t come fast enough.
I wasn’t sure if Jessica would get some of the answers I was waiting for when theclass was over, but Bella was quicker than she was.
As soon as the bell sounded, Bella turned to Jessica.
“In English, Mike asked me if you said anything about Monday night,” Bella said,a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. I understood this for what is was—
offence asthe best defense.
Mike asked about............