THE TZIGANES: HUMOR, PROVERBS, RELIGION, AND MORALITY.

The word Tzigane is used throughout Hungary and Transylvania as an opprobrious term by the other inhabitants whenever they want to designate anything as false, worthless, dirty, adulterated, etc.

“False as a Tzigane,” “Dirty as a Tzigane,” are common figures of speech. Likewise to describe a quarrelsome couple, “They live like the gypsies.” And if some one is given to useless lamentation, it is said of him, “He moans like a guilty Tzigane.”

Of a liar it is said that “he knows how to plough with the Tzigane,” or that “he understands how to ride the Tzigane horse.”

To call any one’s behavior “gypsified” is to stamp it as dishonest. “He knows the Tzigane trade” is “he knows how to steal.”

A showery April day is called “Tzigane weather;” adulterated honey, “Tzigane honey;” coriander-leaves, “Tzigane parsley;” a poor sort of wild-duck is the “Tzigane duck;” the bromus scalinus is the “Tzigane corn;” but why the little green burrs are called “Tzigane lice” is not very evident, for surely in this case the imitation has decidedly the advantage of the genuine article.

These phrases must not, however, be taken to express hatred, but rather a good-natured sort of contempt and indulgence for the Tzigane as a large, importunate, and troublesome child, who frequently requires to be chastised and pushed back, but whose vagaries cannot be taken seriously, or provoke anger.
 
The Tziganes are rarely wanting in a certain sense of humor and power of repartee, which often disarms the anger they have justly provoked. In a travelling menagerie the keeper, showing off his animals to a large audience, pointed to the cage where a furious lion was pawing the ground, and pompously announced that he was ready to give a thousand florins to whoever would enter that cage.

“I will,” said a starved-looking gypsy, stepping forward.

“You will!” said the keeper, looking contemptuously at the small, puny figure. “Very well; please yourself, and walk in,” and he made a feint of opening the door. “Step in; why are you not coming?”

“Certainly,” said the Tzigane; “I have not the slightest objection, and am only waiting till you remove that very unpleasant-looking animal which occupies the cage at present.”

Of course the laugh was turned against the showman, who, in his speech, had only spoken of the cage without mentioning the lion.

A peasant, accusing a Tzigane of having stolen his horse, declared that he could produce half a dozen witnesses who had seen him in the act.

“What are half a dozen witnesses?” said the gypsy. “I can produce a whole dozen who have not seen it!”

A starving and shivering Tzigane once, craving hospitality, was told to choose between food and warmth. Would he have something to eat; or did he prefer to warm himself at the hearth? “If you please,” he answered, “I would like best to toast myself a piece of bacon at the fire.”

When asked which was his favorite bird a Tzigane made reply, “The pig, if it had only wings.”

Another gypsy, asked whether, for the remuneration of five florins, he would undertake the office of hangman on a single victim, answered, joyfully, “Oh, that is far too high a price! For five florins I would undertake to hang all the officials into the bargain!”

Some Tzigane proverbs are as follows:

“Better a donkey which lets you ride than a fine horse which throws you off.”

“Those are the fattest fishes which fall back from the line into the water.”

“It is not good to choose women or cloth by candlelight.”

“What is the use of a kiss unless there be two to share it?”
 
“Who would steal potatoes must not forget the sack.”

“Two hard stones do not grind smooth.”

“Polite words cost little and do much.”

“Who flatters you has either cheated you or hopes to do so.”

“Who waits till another calls him to supper often remains hungry.”

“If you have lost your horse, you had better throw away saddle and bridle as well.”

“The best smith cannot make more than one ring at a time.”

“A pleasant smile smooths away wrinkles.”

“Nothing is so bad but it is good enough for some one.”

“Do we keep the fast-days? Yes, when there is neither bread nor bacon in the cupboard.”

“It is of no use to teach science to children, unless we explain it by means of the broomstick.”

“Let nothing on earth sadden you as long as you still can love.”

“It is easier to inherit than to earn.”

“As long as there are poorer people than yourself in the world, thank God even if you go about with bare feet.”

“When the bridge is gone, then even the narrowest plank becomes precious.”

“Only the deaf and the blind are obliged to believe.”

“Bacon makes bold.”

“After misfortune comes fortune.”

“Who has got luck need only sit at home with his mouth open.”

“Never despair of your luck, for it needs only a moment to bring it.”

There is no such thing as a gypsy church, and a legend current in Transylvania explains the reason of this:

“Once upon a time,” so it runs, “the Tziganes had a right good church, solidly built of brick and stone like other churches. The Wallachs, who had neither stones nor bricks, had at that same time built themselves a church out of cheese and bacon, with sausage rafters and pancake roof.

“This building filled the greedy Tziganes with envy, causing them to lick their lips whenever they passed that way, and at last they proposed an exchange of churches to the Wallachs, who gladly accepted the bargain. But when the winter came the hungry Tziganes began{256} to nibble at the pancake roof of their church; next they attacked the rafters, and there soon remained nothing more of the whole building. That is why since that time there has never been a Tzigane church, and why the gypsies, whenever they go to any place of worship at all, prefer to go to the Roumanian church, because, as they say, they like to remember that it once belonged to them.”

This story has passed into a proverb, used to describe a man without religion, by saying, “He eats his faith, as the gypsies ate their church.”

Their religion is of the vaguest description. They generally agree as to the existence of a God, but it is a God whom they fear without loving. “God cannot be good,” they say, “or else he would not make us die.” The devil they also believe in to a certain extent, but consider him to be a weak, silly fellow, incapable of doing much harm.

A Tzigane, questioned as to whether he believed in the immortality of the soul and the resurrection of the body, scoffed at the idea. “How could I be so foolish as to believe this?” he said, with unconscious philosophy. “We............