DAY 7 12:12 A.M.
“Jack.”
Julia rushed toward me as I came down the corridor. In the overhead light her face looked beautiful in a lean, elegant way. She was in truth more beautiful than I remembered. Her ankle was bandaged and she had a cast on her wrist. She threw her arms around me and buried her head in my shoulder. Her hair smelled of lavender. “Oh, Jack, Jack. Thank God you’re all right.”
“Yeah,” I said hoarsely. “I’m okay.”
“I’m so glad ... so glad.”
I just stood there, feeling her hug me. Then I hugged her back. I didn’t know how to react. She was so energized, but I was exhausted, flat.
“Are you all right, Jack?” she said, still hugging me.
“Yeah, Julia.” I said, just above a whisper. “I am.”
“What’s wrong with your voice?” she said, pulling back to look at me. She scanned my face. “What’s wrong?”
“He probably burned his vocal cords,” Mae said. She was hoarse, too. Her face was blackened with soot. She had a cut on her cheek, and another on her forehead. Julia embraced me again, her fingers touched my shirt. “Darling, you’re hurt ...”
“Just my shirt.”
“Jack, are you sure you’re not hurt? I think you’re hurt ...”
“No, I’m okay.” I stepped away from her awkwardly.
“I can’t tell you,” she said, “how grateful I am for what you did tonight, Jack. What all of you did,” she added, turning to the others. “You, Mae, and Bobby too. I’m only sorry I wasn’t here to help. I know this is all my fault. But we’re very grateful. The company is grateful.” I thought, The company? But all I said was, “Yeah, well, it had to be done.”
“It did, yes, it certainly did. Quickly and decisively. And you did it, Jack. Thank God.” Ricky was standing in the background, head bobbing up and down. He was like one of those mechanical birds that drinks from a water glass. Bobbing up and down. I felt unreal, as if I was in a play.
“I think we should all have a drink to celebrate,” Julia was saying, as we went down the corridor. “There must be some champagne around here. Ricky? Is there? Yes? I want to celebrate what you guys have done.”
“I just want to sleep,” I said.
“Oh, come on, just one glass.”
It was typical Julia, I thought. Involved in her own world, not noticing how anyone around her was feeling. The last thing any of us wanted to do right now was drink champagne. “Thanks anyway,” Mae said, shaking her head.
“Are you sure? Really? It’d be fun. How about you, Bobby?”
“Maybe tomorrow,” Bobby said.
“Oh well, okay, after all, you’re the conquering heroes! We’ll do it tomorrow, then.” I noticed how fast she was talking, how quick her body movements were. I remembered Ellen’s comment about her taking drugs. It certainly seemed like she was on something. But I was so tired I just didn’t give a damn.
“I’ve told the news to Larry Handler, the head of the company,” she said, “and he’s very grateful to you all.”
“That’s nice,” I said. “Is he going to notify the Army?”
“Notify the Army? About what?”
“About the runaway experiment.”
“Well, Jack, that’s all taken care of now. You’ve taken care of it.”
“I’m not sure we have,” I said. “Some of the swarms might have escaped. Or there might be another nest out there. To be safe, I think we should call in the Army.” I didn’t really think we had missed anything, but I wanted to get outsiders in here. I was tired. I wanted somebody else to take over.
“The Army?” Julia’s eyes flicked to Ricky, then back to me. “Jack, you’re absolutely right,” she said firmly. “This is an extremely serious situation. If there is the slightest chance something was missed, we must notify them at once.”
“I mean tonight.”
“Yes, I agree, Jack. Tonight. In fact, I’ll do it right now.” I glanced back at Ricky. He was walking along, still nodding in that mechanical way. I didn’t get it. What about Ricky’s earlier panic? His fear that the experiment would be made public? Now it seemed he didn’t care.
Julia said, “You three can get some sleep, and I’ll call my contacts at the Pentagon.”
“I’ll go with you,” I said.
“It’s really not necessary.”
“I want to,” I said.
She glanced at me and smiled. “You don’t trust me?”
“It’s not that,” I said. “But they might have questions I could answer for them.”
“Okay, fine. Good idea. Excellent idea.”
I felt sure that something was wrong. I felt as if I were in a play, and everyone was acting a part. Except I didn’t know what the play was. I glanced over at Mae. She was frowning slightly. She must have sensed it, too.
We passed through the airlocks into the residential unit. Here the air felt uncomfortably cold to me; I shivered. We went into the kitchen and Julia reached for the phone. “Let’s make that call, Jack,” she said.
I went to the refrigerator and got a ginger ale. Mae had an iced tea. Bobby had a beer. We were all thirsty. I noticed a bottle of champagne sitting in the fridge, waiting. I touched it; it was cold. There were six glasses in there, too, being chilled. She’d already planned the party. Julia pushed the speakerphone button. We heard a dial tone. She punched in a number. But the call didn’t go through. The line just went dead.
“Huh,” she said. “Let’s try that again ...”
She dialed a second time. Again, the call failed to go through.
“That’s funny. Ricky, I’m not getting an outside line.”
“Try one more time,” Ricky said.
I sipped my ginger ale and watched them. There was no question that this was all an act, a performance for our benefit. Julia dutifully dialed a third time. I wondered what number she was calling. Or did she know the number for the Pentagon by heart? “Huh,” she said. “Nothing.”
Ricky picked up the phone, looked at the base, put it down again. “Should be okay,” he said, acting puzzled.
“Oh for Christ’s sake,” I said. “Let me guess. Something has happened and we can’t dial out.”
“No, no, we can,” Ricky said.
“I was just calling a few minutes ago,” Julia said. “Just before you got back.”
Ricky pushed away from the table. “I’ll check the comm lines.”
“You do that,” I said, glowering.
Julia was staring at me. “Jack,” she said, “I’m worried about you.”
“Uh-huh.”
“You’re angry.”
“I’m being fucked with.”
“I promise you,” she said quietly, meeting my eyes. “You’re not.” Mae got up from the table, saying she was going to take a shower. Bobby wandered into the lounge to play a video game, his usual way to unwind. Soon I heard the sound of machine-gun fire, and the cries of dead bad guys. Julia and I were alone in the kitchen. She leaned over the table toward me. She spoke in a low, earnest voice. “Jack,” she said, “I think I owe you an explanation.”
“No,” I said. “You don’t.”
“I mean, for my behavior. My decisions these past days.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me.”
“Maybe later, Julia.”
“I need to tell you now. You see, the thing is, I just wanted to save the company, Jack. That’s all. The camera failed and we couldn’t fix it, we lost our contract, and the company was falling apart. I’ve never lost a company before. I never had one shot out from underneath me, and I didn’t want Xymos to be the first. I was invested, I had a stake, and I guess I had my pride. I wanted to save it. I know I didn’t use good judgment. I was desperate. It’s nobody else’s fault. They all wanted to stop it. I pushed them to go on. It was ... it was my crusade.” She shrugged. “And it was all for nothing. The company’s going to fold in a matter of days. I’ve lost it.” She leaned closer. “But I don’t want to lose you, too. I don’t want to lose my family. I don’t want to lose us.”
She dropped her voice lower, and stretched her hand across the table to cover mine. “I want to make amends, Jack. I want to make things right, and get us back on track again.” She paused. “I hope you do, too.”
I said, “I’m not sure how I feel.”
“You’re tired.”
“Yes. But I’m not sure, anymore.”
“You mean, about us?”
I said, “I hate this fucking conversation.” And I did. I hated that she would start this when I was exhausted, when I had just gone through an ordeal that nearly got me killed and that was, ultimately, all her doing. I hated that she dismissed her involvement as “bad judgment” when it was considerably worse than that.
“Oh Jack, let’s go back to the way we were,” she said, and suddenly she leaned the rest of the way across the table and tried to kiss me on the lips. I pulled back, turned my head away. She stared at me, eyes pleading. “Jack, please.”
“This is not the time or the place, Julia,” I said.
A pause. She didn’t know what to say. Finally: “The kids miss you.”
“I’m sure they do. I miss them, too.”
She burst into tears. “And they don’t miss me ...” she sobbed. “They don’t even care about me ... about their mother ...” She reached for my hand again. I let her hold it. I tried to take stock of my feelings. I just felt tired, and very uncomfortable. I wanted her to stop crying. “Julia ...”
The intercom clicked. I heard Ricky’s voice, amplified. “Hey, guys? We have a problem with the comm lines. You better come here right a............