TranquillityIt is because I was foolish then that I am now wise. O philosopherwho see nothing save in a flash, how short is your vision! Youreye is not made to follow the underground working of thepassions.
FRAU VON GOETHEThis conversation was interrupted by a judicial examination, followedby a conference with the lawyer retained for the defence. These were theonly absolutely disagreeable moments in a heedless existence full oftender fantasies.
'It was murder, and premeditated murder,' said Julien to magistrateand counsel alike. 'I am sorry, gentlemen,' he added, smiling; 'but this reduces your task to a very small matter.
'After all,' thought Julien, when he had succeeded in ridding himself ofthese two persons, 'I must be brave, and braver, evidently, than thesetwo men. They regard as the worst of evils, as the king of terrors, this duelto a fatal issue, of which I shall begin to think seriously only upon theday itself.
'That is because I have known a greater evil,' Julien continued, philosophising to himself. 'I suffered far more keenly on my first journey toStrasbourg, when I thought that I had been abandoned by Mathilde …And to think that I longed with such passion for this perfect intimacywhich today leaves me so unmoved! Indeed, I am happier by myselfthan when that lovely girl shares my solitude … '
The lawyer, a man of rules and formalities, thought him mad, and supposed, with the rest of the public, that it was jealousy that had put thepistol in his hand. One day, he ventured to suggest to Julien that this allegation, whether true or false, would be an excellent line of defence. Butthe prisoner became in a flash passionate and incisive.
'On your life, Sir,' cried Julien beside himself with rage, 'bear in mindnever again to utter that abominable falsehood.' The prudent advocatewas afraid for a moment of being murdered himself.
He prepared his defence, because the decisive moment was rapidlyapproaching. Besancon and the whole Department could talk of nothingbut this cause celebre. Julien was in ignorance of this, he had begged thatno one should ever speak to him of such matters.
That very day, Fouque and Mathilde having sought to inform him ofcertain public rumours, which seemed to them to furnish grounds forhope, Julien had cut them short at the first word.
'Leave me to enjoy my ideal life. Your petty bickerings, your details ofreal life, all more or less irritating to me, would bring me down fromheaven. One dies as best one can; as for me, I wish to think of death onlyin my own way. What do I care for other people? My relations with otherpeople are soon to be cut short. For pity's sake, do not speak to me ofthem again: it is quite enough to have to see the magistrate and mycounsel.
'Indeed,' he said to himself, 'it appears to be my destiny to die in adream. An obscure creature, like myself, sure of being forgotten within afortnight, would indeed be foolish, one must admit, were he to play apart …'It is strange, all the same, that I have learned the art of enjoying lifeonly now that I see its term draw so near.'
He spent these last days in pacing the narrow terrace on the roof of hisdungeon, smoking some excellent cigars for which Mathilde had sent acourier to Holland, and with no suspicion that his appearance was dailyawaited by all the telescopes in the town. His thoughts were at Vergy.
Never did he speak of Madame de Renal to Fouque, but on two or threeoccasions this friend told him that she was recovering rapidly, and thesewords echoed in his heart.
While Julien's spirit was almost always completely lost in the world ofideas, Mathilde, occupied with realities, as becomes an aristocratic heart,had contrived to increase the intimacy of the direct correspondencebetween Madame de Fervaques and M. de Frilair to such a point thatalready the mighty word Bishopric had been uttered.
The venerable prelate, in whose hands was the list of benefices, addedas a postscript to one of his niece's letters: 'That poor Sorel is nothingworse than a fool, I hope that he will be restored to us.'
At the sight of these lines, M. de Frilair w............