The TigerAlas! why these things and not others!
BEAUMARCHAISAn English traveller relates how he lived upon intimate terms with atiger; he had reared it and used to play with it, but always kept a loadedpistol on the table.
Julien abandoned himself to the full force of his happiness only atthose moments when Mathilde could not read the expression of it in hiseyes. He was punctilious in his performance of the duty of addressing afew harsh words to her from time to time.
When Mathilde's meekness, which he observed with astonishment,and the intensity of her devotion came near to destroying all his self-control, he had the courage to leave her abruptly.
For the first time Mathilde was in love.
Life, which had always crawled for her at a snail's pace, now flew.
As it was essential, nevertheless, that her pride should find some outlet, she sought to expose herself with temerity to all the risks that herlove could make her run. It was Julien who showed prudence; and it wasonly when there was any question of danger that she did not complywith his wishes; but, submissive, and almost humble towards him, sheshowed all the more arrogance towards anyone else who came near herin the house, relatives and servants alike.
In the evenings in the drawing-room, she would summon Julien, andwould hold long conversations with him in private.
Little Tanbeau took his place one evening beside them; she asked himto go to the library and fetch her the volume of Smollett which dealt withthe Revolution of 1688; and as he seemed to hesitate: There is no need tohurry,' she went on with an expression of insulting arrogance, which wasbalm to Julien's spirit.
'Did you notice the look in that little monster's eyes?' he asked her.
'His uncle has done ten or twelve years of service in this drawing-room, otherwise I should have him shown the door this instant.'
Her behaviour towards MM. de Croisenois, de Luz, and the rest, perfectly polite in form, was scarcely less provoking in substance. Mathildeblamed herself severely for all the confidences she had made to Julien inthe past, especially as she did not dare confess to him that she had exaggerated the almost wholly innocent marks of interest of which those gentlemen had been the object.
In spite of the most admirable resolutions, her womanly pride prevented her every day from saying to Julien: 'It was because I was speaking toyou that I found pleasure in the thought of my weakness in not withdrawing my hand when M. de Croisenois laid his hand on a marble tablebeside mine, and managed to touch it.'
Nowadays, whenever one of these gentlemen had spoken to her for afew moments, she found that she had a question to ask Julien, and thiswas a pretext for keeping him by her side.
She found that she was pregnant, and told the news joyfully to Julien.
'Now will you doubt me? Is not this a guarantee? I am your wife forever.'
This announcement filled Julien with profound astonishment. He wason the point of forgetting his principle of conduct. 'How can I be deliberately cold and offensive to this poor girl who is ruining herself for me?'
Did she appear at all unwell, even on the days on which wisdom madeher dread accents heard, he no longer found the courage to address toher one of those cruel speeches, so indispensable, in his experience, tothe continuance of their love.
'I mean to write to my father,' Mathilde said to him one day; 'he ismore than a father to me; he is a friend; and so I should feel it unworthyof you and of myself to seek to deceive him, were it only for a moment.'
'Great God! What are you going to do?' said Julien in alarm.
'My duty,' she replied, her eyes sparkling with joy.
She felt herself to be more magnanimous than her lover.
'But he will turn me from the house in disgrace!'
'He is within his rights, we must respect them. I shall give you myarm, and we shall go out by the front door, in the full light of day.'
Julien in astonishment begged her to wait for a week.
'I cannot,' she replied, 'the voice of honour speaks. I have seen what ismy duty, I must obey, and at once.'
'Very well! I order you to wait,' said Julien at length. 'Your honour iscovered, I am your husband. This drastic step is going to alter both ourpositions. I also am within my rights. Today is Tuesday; next Tuesday isthe day of the Duc de Retz's party; that evening, when M. de La Molecomes home, the porter shall hand him the fatal letter … He thinks onlyof making you a Duchess, of that I am certain; think of his grief!'
'Do you mean by that: think of his revenge?'
'I may feel pity for my benefactor, distress at the thought of injuringhim; but I do not and never shall fear any man.'
Mathilde submitted. Since she had told Julien of her condition, thiswas the first time that he had spoken to her with authority; never had heloved her so dearly. It was with gladness that the softer side of his heartseized the pretext of Mathilde's cond............