A Box at the BouffesAs the blackest sky Foretells the heaviest tempest.
Don Juan, I. 73In the thick of all this great commotion, Julien was more bewilderedthan happy. Mathilde's abuse of him showed him how wise the Russianpolicy had been. 'Say little, do little, that is my one way of salvation.'
He lifted up Mathilde and without a word laid her down again on thedivan. Gradually she gave way to tears.
To keep herself in countenance, she took Madame de Fervaques's letters in her hands; she broke the seals slowly. She gave a nervous start onrecognising the Marechale's handwriting. She turned over the sheets ofthese letters without reading them; the majority of them covered sixpages.
'Answer me this, at least,' said Mathilde at length in the most supplicating tone, but without venturing to look at Julien. 'You know very wellthat I am proud; it is the misfortune of my position, and indeed of mynature, I must admit; so Madame de Fervaques has stolen your heartfrom me … Has she offered you all the sacrifices to which that fatal passion led me?'
A grim silence was Julien's only answer. 'By what right,' he thought,'does she ask of me an indiscretion unworthy of an honourable man?'
Mathilde endeavoured to read the letters; the tears that filled her eyesmade it impossible for her to do so.
For a month past she had been miserable, but that proud spirit was farfrom confessing its feelings to itself. Chance alone had brought aboutthis explosion. For an instant jealousy and love had overcome pride. Shewas seated upon the divan and in close proximity to him. He saw herhair and her throat of alabaster; for a moment he forgot all that he owed to himself; he slipped his arm round her waist, and almost hugged her tohis bosom.
She turned her head towards him slowly: he was astonished at the intense grief that was visible in her eyes, and made them quite unrecognisable as hers.
Julien felt his strength begin to fail him, so colossal was the effort involved in the act of courage which he was imposing on himself.
'Those eyes will soon express nothing but the coldest disdain,' he saidto himself, 'if I allow myself to be carried away by the joy of loving her.'
Meanwhile, in a faint voice and in words which she had barely thestrength to utter, she was repeating to him at that moment her assuranceof all her regret for the action which an excessive pride might have counselled her to take.
'I too, have my pride,' Julien said to her in a voice that was barely articulate, and his features indicated the extreme limit of physical exhaustion.
Mathilde turned sharply towards him. The sound of his voice was apleasure the hope of which she had almost abandoned. At that momentshe recalled her pride only to curse it, she would fain have discoveredsome unusual, incredible act to prove to him how greatly she adoredhim and detested herself.
'It is probably because of that pride,' Julien went on, 'that you havesingled me out for an instant; it is certainly because of that courageousfirmness, becoming in a man, that you respect me at this moment. I maybe in love with the Marechale … '
Mathilde shuddered; her eyes assumed a strange expression. She wasabout to hear her sentence uttered. This movement did not pass unobserved by Julien; he felt his courage weaken.
'Ah!' he said to himself, listening to the sound of the vain words thatcame from his lips, as he might have listened to a noise from without; 'if Icould only cover those pale cheeks with kisses, and you not feel them!
'I may be in love with the Marechale,' he continued … and his voicegrew fainter and fainter; 'but certainly, of her interest in myself I have nodecisive proof… '
Mathilde gazed at him; he met her gaze, at least he hoped that his features had not betrayed him. He felt himself penetrated by love to the innermost recesses of his heart. Never had he adored her so intensely; hewas scarcely less mad than Mathilde. Could she have found sufficientself-control and courage to manoeuvre, he would have fallen at her feet, forswearing all idle play-acting. He had strength enough to be able tocontinue to speak. 'Ah! Korasoff,' he exclaimed inwardly, 'why are notyou here? How I need a word of advice to direct my conduct!' Meanwhile his voice was saying:
'Failing any other sentiment, gratitude would suffice to attach me tothe Marechale; she has shown me indulgence, she has comforted mewhen others scorned me … I may perhaps not repose a............